A blessing in disguise

[Ladyface]

I'm only 20 years old, but I've managed to fall in love with two remarkable men in my lifetime, just to have it all taken out from under me both times. Not too long ago I was wondering "How could this happen to me ... TWICE? Woe is me!" But nowadays I'm starting to see myself as incredibly lucky for having the opportunity to suffer through so many learning experiences.

 

I never thought I'd get over my first love. I made so many desperate mistakes trying to get him back - calling, stalking, e-mailing, texting, crying, begging. I didn't start NC until nearly a year after the relationship ended. Even then, I didn't think I could ever fall in love again. I didn't think another man could ever love me the way he did.

 

I don't know when I realized I was completely over him. I think it was approximately a year and a half after the relationship ended. I ran into him and I realized that I had no feelings toward him at all - positive or negative. I realized that I had no desire to contact him, no desire to ask him how he was doing or why he never told me he was married. We simply exchanged pleasantries and went our separate ways. I don't think I'll ever see him or talk to him again. And that's completely okay with me.

 

I feel like I'll never get over my second love, but now I'm realizing how blessed I am to know from experience that THIS TOO SHALL PASS. I just hope it won't take another year and a half!

 

I made a slew of mistakes with my second ex, but never repeated the mistakes I made with the first ex. There was no calling, stalking, e-mailing, texting, crying, or begging. There was, however, post-breakup dating, and lots and lots of sex. Sometimes you have to make mistakes to learn from them, and I've definitely learned from all of mine.

 

I guess I'm posting this to let you guys (and myself) know that THINGS WILL GET BETTER. I promise I promise I promise. Stay positive, love yourself, and know that you WILL fall in love again some day, even if you think it's not possible. In the meantime, friends are the most important people in your life right now, so let them help you through this - they want to see you happy. Everyone that has helped me through my rough times on this forum is a friend in my eyes

[darkpumpkin]

That's awsome and as I have lived it to. Completely Fact!

[hosswhispra]

You may only be 20 but you're wise beyond your years

[HDD]

thanks LadyFace... that gives me hope about my future love life. Its been 3 months since my break up and i am still having a hard time... I am scared actually about finding someone new out there and starting all over again.