What is it like????

[ansleynicole]

What is breaking up like for men? How do you feel after you break up with a woman that you professed to love and wanted to marry at one point?

I guess the main question that I need answered is that after you dump a girl do you still care for her and love her or at the moment you dump her you don't feel anything for her ever again? Do you still think of her?

 

I just wonder if the person who is the dumpee feels hurt and hates that the relationship is over, especially if there was not a good reason for the break and there wasn't another person as a factor either. Maybe just the guys fear of how close he was getting to the girl and how afraid he was of getting hurt again.

[King_of_Crunkness23]

im going through a breakup as we speak, 7 year relationship comes crashing down, im a guy, and i feel so weak and miserable about it that i cant stand getting up in the morning, there ARE guys out there with kindness in there hearts and has feelings that are fragile. but to answere your questions yes girls still run through our minds after we break up, whether it be the dumpee or the dumper. both situations are hard to do.

[NickA449]

I've mostly been the dumpee, but recently I have been more of the dumper. I guess you do feel a sense of loss, but you rationalize that it is for the better because things weren't going the right way. Sometimes there just isn't that spark anymore...and in that case I guess I have just felt better that it was over-kind of a sense of doing the right thing for both. The circumstances are always different, but I think that if you have ever been in a long term relationship you will always have a special connection with that person and always have a sense of love in your heart because of all the happy times you had with that person. I guess guilt can also be associated with it-I have never like to break up with my girlfriends because I don't want to cause them pain, but I guess you have to realize that sometimes pain now is better than making a mistake and having that pain come back 10 fold! Regardless, either being the dumpee or the dumper I don't think it's easy-each person has emotions running wild...I guess I have been hurt a lot by being dumped, so now I tend to be a lot more untrusting and afraid of commitment. Something I need to work on...good luck

[johnnyt]

I broke up with my girl about a month ago...we were both 17 so maybe it was just a teen thing... But I like to think I'm pretty mature for my age and I try to make sense of all the emotions that I feel.

 

It was over her seeing a guy from work too much and me not being able to trust her (for other reasons, such a long story)

 

Now I really really really regret splitting up. I think of her all the time, from when I wake up to when I go to sleep. My friends get annoyed at me talking about her all the time. I wonder what she's up to all the time, hoping she's ok, wishing we were back together...I'd say I still love her, even though she hasnt contacted me at all since we split up (on 3rd August). I feel empty, lonely, even though my friends have all tried to help me I still have that hollow feeling inside.

 

I know she's probably forgotten about me already, since she has a new guy in her life, but I'm 100% sure I will remember her for the rest of my life, she'll always have a place in my heart.

[netman]

I can relate to your question. My ex g/f (or should I say fiance) were together for 4 years before I dumped her. To make a very, very long story short, she cheated on me very early in the relationship, I was going to leave, she begged me to stay, and I stayed to try to make the best of things, but I developed deep insecurity and jealousy issues. I broke up with her because I couldn't stand being in a relationship with someone I couldn't trust even though she tried everything to prove her love and loyalty.

 

Breaking up with her was the hardest thing I've ever done. I loved her soooooo much. Besides my trust issues, we had a great relationship. She was a helpless romantic like me. She used to write me love letters, send me flowers at work (believe or not), and she was very spontaneous, loving and affectionate. It's almost like she set a standard on how to show the greatest love to your b/f. It's been over 4 years now, and I still think about her. I think about her more right now since I've been with my new g/f now for a while and she is very loving and affectionate, but she is sooooooo unromantic and and she's not spontaneous at all. My ex spoiled me big time, and I sometimes secretly resent my g/f for not being romantic enough. I have to give her hints of things to do to be romantic, but she's very slow to pick up. I even sent her the book "101 Ways To Be Romantic", and still she doesn't get it. I guess I'm just comparing her to my ex too much.... But you see how my ex of over 4 years ago still has an impact in my life?

[HAMLETTHUNKTOOMUCH]

THERE IS A DEFINATE LOSS THAT WILL NEVER GO AWAY EACH TIME YOU LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE. A PART OF YOU IS MISSING FOREVER.