King_of_Crunkness23

I been dealing with depression, stress and anxiety all my life basically, i been on the medication lexapro and remeron for about 3 months now, i have no ticed a dramatic change for the better, the past 4 nights when i try to sleep, i go through these like panic attacks during the night, night sweats i feel like theres someone next to me thats going to GET ME lol!!! last night it was real bad, i kept sweating, heart was pounding, i would freeze in fear to where i couldnt move at times, i wanted to get up and get a glass of water but i was to scared to get up, what might be the problem?

Does anyone know of a internet site or some kind of crack to get into these dating sites? any free sites that are TOTALLY FREE where you can contact people? im unable to pay for internet dating sites, and i think its the most facinating thing meeting a girl off the net, its so cooool trust me!!! and i want to get on these dating sites to see whats up or who is out there, anyone help?

Hey yall, im pretty sure everyone has seen my other post and knows how i feel about this subject, i went through a 7 year relationship, been broken up for 2 months now. and im ready to move on. i been seeing these other girls that really doint apoint or have anything in common with me, or the qualities im looking for. but last night i met up with a girl at a store i been going to for quite some time, she gave me her phone number, i feel something weird about this because this girl is extremely attractive and i dont know how to go about it to let her know i think this and im welling to make things work if possible, im suppose to call her today, and im wanting some advice on the subject, the thing is, the main flaw is i had a d.u.i back in august and i lost my drivers license, i lost my job due to it, but tomorrow i start a new job HOPEFULLY, this is kind of embarrassing to meeting someone new because they dont want a boyfriend who cant drive them on a date or have any money to take them out, BUT im ready to meet someone who understands this and i dont know the first thing to say to her about it. im slightly over my ex even though shes still in my mind most of the time. should i tell her about her? let her know how i feel and why im looking for someone new so soon. cause i know it takes a long time to get over something like that? what should i do when i call her?

i dissagree to that fact because i have talked to her and she says she just doesnt know, i mean shes 21, im 24, yeah of course i was her only b/f, her first i popped the big one but when theres still love in her heart for me im not giving it up, i have a question on this, when people say i can do better, ill know who my soul-mate is, what if i feel like that with her? what if i dont want no better, what if i feel shes close enough to perfect for me?

i posted other forums talking about fiance breakin it off due to jealousy, employment slacking and a case of serious non communication. Its been 5 weeks now. The pain still hasnt subsided. so im welling to take the next step. Her sister is going to have her come over her house, im going to then come over after that. Is this a good idea? i have a letter that im going to read to her personally in front of her. Just me and her. Yall tell me what you think and these are ezact words. First Carrie before i start this, i want you to know i really care for you, you really are in my heart. but here we start. you sitting in front of me right now is awesome. The best thing that has happened to me in the last 6 months. The thing i been dreaming about for the past 5 weeks. Im sorry i had to black male you to come over your sisters house like this. But this has gone on long enough and its the only way. I cant be calling and leaving messages no more on the phone, i cant send no more letters. Cause not only am i not getting any responses there not getting heard. So i will keep this short simple and to the point. This has been a very long irritating, hopeless and frustrating year for me. Especially the past month. Ive missed your face, your smile, making you laugh and most of all your compassion and tenderness. I was such a damn fool for treating you with such dishonesty, disrespect and cruelness. I was selfish, ignorant and controlling. I didnt have a care in the world for what i was doing Or even realized it, especially with the accusing. You told me someone has already taken you out on dates and stuff. As jealous as i was. I would of usually FLIPPED OUT cause of that. even though when you told me that i said NOOO CARRRIE PLEASE DONT DO THAT. But you know what? not once have i doubted that you would dishonor your heart like that knowing from what we both have been going through and I respect that more than anything. I still dont have the emotional strength to move on, to meet someone and totally forget about picturing you sitting in front of me with a sparkling look on your face and mystifying eyes. I know now jealousy is the number one reason why you would lose someone. And losing you has hit me like a mac truck that is still not slowing down. Alcohol was doing a number on me. I would of ended up dead in the next year if i didnt stop. So tell your dad thankyou for calling the police on me. Him and you have saved my life and i wish there was a way to pay you guys back. I have been able to think more straight lately. Still trying to think of the right words to make you feel good and change your mind. I dont dare sit here and ask for forgiveness because i would really like to earn it back. This time the right way. I want to be able to prove i can make you feel secure. Like you have a meaningful relationship with me again. To actually feel YOU! and US! are going somewhere in life. If im not crying right now because of nerves from the blow of you turning me down then its a miracle. I highly doubt i will mess up again because i realize what one of a kind and genuine girl you are. But if for some reason i do. I will know i need to personally back off and realize im not ready for a comitted relationship. I have a pretty good feeling that if we start off real slow. Let me take you out a few times a week. Call eachother when felt needed. I do want you to know that if your ever feeling down you have a friend you can call (me) you can write me a letter anytime you please (even though you dont like to write letters) I just want you to know i want to furfill your life. Make you happy and feel whole again instead of being a half staffed flag waiting to be burned or insulted again. I have proof that i am working, i have proof that i am getting help for the depression, anxiety and other past problems that has really kept me up on a up roar. But what do you say? im not going to worry about my woman, cause you will always be close enough to perfect for me, and by saying that is i know in my heart you will make the right decision to make yourself happy. did i touch your heart in anyway? your just the perfect quality, my favorite inspiration. I love you carrie i love you and really miss you. Lets take this and let me prove what it is ezactly what you need me to prove. If this isnt it, if the things i been working on isnt enough, then ill look up at the sky right now and if im wrong for trying to get back into your heart. then strike me dead because i dont want to hurt you or even hurt myself than i already have. Hopefully you will make the right decision, its totally all yours!!!! i can prove to your mom and dad i have became a better man. im not using church or baptism as an excuse, im doing that because i need to turn to something to keep my head on straight, its the only thing i have right now. so please dont make fun of me or think its a joke, because right now it has been the only thing keeping me to sleep at night. and the only thing i have been able to do. i dont know lots of people not to many friends. ive met a few girlfriends here in columbia that seem pretty cool but not interested in dating or anything like that. you always use to tell me we had different opinions, liked different things. thats actually not true. because your opinions and likes have always amazed me, because your so unique and down to earth with the things you like to do and i LOVE it. your a surprising girl and its always unknown what your next step is going to be. so i hope you can surprise me tonight and let me put that light back in them eyes like i did before.... but before i go... i want to ask you something, everybody tells me i can do better, what if i think your perfect for me, i dont want no better because on earth there is no better girl. and that i will know who my soul-mate is when she comes along... what if i feel and dream that your my one? what do yall think? convincing? i dont want to convince i want her to know i have changed, i quit the alcohol and everything else, this girl is real real special and this is going to be the hardest thing i have ever done, i been working on myself over the past 5 weeks, ive held a job, ive paid off depts and been taking care of legal issues.. but its still empty cause i need a friend, and shes been the only one i have ever been able to tell things to...

i know how you feel, but mine has been 5 weeks now. together 7 years and its nearly impossible not to feel the pain and hurt. i still try everyday and every night to figure out a way i can get her back in my life. I talked to her 3 days ago and supposidly someone else is infringing on my girl that belongs with me, or thats how i feel about it, it hurts m man it really does. and theres nothing you can do, i know you hate hearing that. but in your situation all you can do is try to find a girl that is really attractive to you, find a girl that meets your standards. pray to god to heal you, dont pray for something you know theres no hope in, cause it will just bring more pain and grief!! thankyou for your message, it made me realize a bit to

if yall have read my other post, then please respond to this, i have decided in the next few days that i am going to call her. What should i say? when is a good time to call? before she is getting ready for bed? when she wakes up? but foreal what should i say? someone give me some pointers........

im going through a breakup as we speak, 7 year relationship comes crashing down, im a guy, and i feel so weak and miserable about it that i cant stand getting up in the morning, there ARE guys out there with kindness in there hearts and has feelings that are fragile. but to answere your questions yes girls still run through our minds after we break up, whether it be the dumpee or the dumper. both situations are hard to do.

I would love to make this short as possible and yall see the point i want to get accross. But that is just impossible. So i will try my best. Her and i have been together for 7 years. She was 14 i was 16. were now 21 and 24, a little older and a tad wiser. But throughout this relationship i have dealt with depression, bi-polar disease, alcoholism you name it, but the thing that has tortured me the most is jealousy. I was so scared and paniky about her messing around i couldnt even do a daily chore without feeling anxiety. I have problems holding a job. Which now i have a job. the drinking has stopped. The depression and anxiety is still miserable though due to not having her in my life. Well a month ago i was in D.C visiting my brother. I been trying to contact her all day, she was out with friends (supposidly), and the reason i say supposidly is shes not even talking to me to say hi not one time we been apart. for 5 weeks now. Shes telling me the reason she broke it off is because the job situation, i cant support her. The jealousy is tremendous and your not getting any help. Which i understand EXTREMELY! The thing is. Im doing better now. Except for her. I miss this woman so badly my stomach has been in knots and my heart is shattered. I went to see her about 3 weeks ago but her dad called the police on me and i got a DUI. I spent 3 days in jail and im telling you, learned one HELL of a lesson. But now its like, she doesnt want to come in NO contact with me what so ever. I heard she has lost her job and shes really depressed. She still loves me but she got so unhappy she couldnt take it no more. I have been a jerk yall and i feel so much shame and guilt. I would almost consider ending things because i have done this to the most beautiful most wonderful woman on this earth. If charlie knocks on my door then i know there missing an angel. would sending her a dozen roses maybe make her feel a little better about the situation? let her realize im still deeply and madly in love with her and things have changed? Her dad is deleting my emails and my messages i send her on yahoo. NOT ONCE sense we broke-up have i brought up cheating, lieing about this, or anything that is disrespectful. Not being able to call her, email her, go see her or anything, how can i let this girl know i can make her happy again like when we first was. I can support her help her out financially and emotionally. I still have alot to work on but not having a friend that you trust and love is so hard. its been 5 weeks and this has been the longest we have went without seeing or talking to eachother. Anything i can do? flowers, card, letter? proof of job, proof that im going to counseling and outpatient rehab for alcohol? i mean come on she says she still has love for me she always will. theres still something there i KNOW THERE IS. its almost like telepathic i promise it is. but your opinions would be greatful appreciated, thankyou for reading and thankyou for your time!! hopefully i didnt bore you to bad lmao!

i just went through a breakup, we were together for 7 years. When we were together my sex drive was on over-drive... i mean if was a 5 speed it was a ferrari, it was bad.. but now that were not together anymore, it seems like i cant even get it up, viagra? naaa!! im a mark martin fan but i dont take that crap!! being 24 years old, meeting some lady that lives down the road from you, and getting embarrassed cause you cant have sex because your emotionally torn apart sucks!!!! what should i do? eat more brocolli? lol!!

my g/f did the same thing, except we were together 7 years and engaged for 2, thought i had the world on top of me, its been 5 weeks now and i havnt come in contact but twise, first time was so angry about the situation i went to jail that night, second time was on yahoo messanger, yay big whip!! doesnt compare to hearing her voice or seeing her face, but be thankful man, sit down and talk to her, see why shes feeling like that, how old are you two? are YOU really in love with this girl and welling to take the beatin? cause thats what shes doing, playing with your mind, beatin you up inside. and if it hurts bad enough to a point where your comfused yourself, then you really need to take her out to dinner and talk to her, and tell her to speak the truth with gods light shining down watching her. listen and agree, but dont let her walk all over you partner theres enough hurt and heartache in this world. good luck!! let me know what happpens

ive dealt with a female friend for quite some time now being bi-sexual, theres absolutely nothing wrong with it, im a guy and yes i am bi-sexual myself, get this girl drunk, and then ask her lol!! it always helps, but no seriously be cautious of that kind of stuff, if your friends with her and dont wanna jeapordize the friendship, its better off to SLOWLY come on, if she rejects, ask her why, if she says no shes not that way, then drop it. if shes weary about the situation, talk to her about it, it will help trust me!!!! good luck

princess777, thankyou for responding to me, its a very difficult situation, i sit here right now thinkin of a way to talk to her, theres no legal terms in the issue, such as restraining order, its just if i come around there her dad calls the cops, for the reason i dont know, the reason they called the cops on me the night i got the DUI is because her mom and dad just got home from camping, and he was DRUNK BAD!! carrie told me that personally, yes i do realize how she felt all those years, i realized it before we broke up and i was working on getting better, i just told her its sorta like in my blood, its hard to change baby immediately, let me wave this out, let me do better okay baby, but she didnt seem to think i was changing, even though i was getting a different mind set about the situation, i love this girl, i really really do, and its SO hard changing even the slightest thing as what you eat, cause we were always around eachother and we always did EVERYTHING together, being no legal issues in the matter, and i understand she needs time, this is a stubbern woman, shes set in her ways (as i believe) i sent her an email, asking if we can maybe, spend 1 to 2 days together a week, call eachother every other week just to see whats up, if shes doin ok, if theres anything she wants to talk about, but you know i sit here and i think about something, about the jealousy. shes brokeup with me, she can run freely, and the feeling aint near as strong as it was when we were together, is that ME changing? theres so many questions unanswered, but i really would LOVE to have this woman back into my life, again thankyou for your reply

Okay! Where do i begin, me and my fiance have been together for 7 years. Through the 7 years we have encountered just about every obsticle life throws at you. But we always managed to get ourselves back up. We both have always lived with our parents, her family has always been real abusive with eachother, with alcohol and drugs. We met when she was 14, i was 16. Shes 20 now and im going to be 24 in October. I have always been extremely jealous. Scared to death that i would lose her because of some other prick would step on my boundaries and be better. Well this has lasted throughout the whole relationship, she would beg me to stop, crying everytime it came up. I was a total jerk! I never been real good at holding jobs, due to depression, anxiety, bi-polar, alcohol and you name it. I have ignored her wishes. Her thoughts. Her dreams. and i feel so guilty, so ashamed. Well last month i went to Washington D.C to see my brother. I tried calling her ALL that day, so being as jealous as i am (YOU KNOW WHAT WAS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD) "cheating", so i sent her a text message on her phone and it said "i know you were looking forward to me leaving, i knew i was gonna come back with no girlfriend or life as always" well she finally called me back at 2am when she finally got home. she said its over, take your words and eat them! I have not talked to her but twise sense then, and that was a month ago. She had her cell phone changed so i wont send text messages. her mom and dad called the police on me 2 weeks ago when i tried going over there and talking to her. I got a dui that night and put my car in the ditch cause the bi-polar was REALLY kicking in! I had a girl--friend call her a week ago to talk to her. and my ex said if he can get it straight then i maybe might consider taking him back. Well she got on the other night on yahoo. popped up and said "well i guess i can say hi" i busted out in tears! she said she still loves me. 7 years is a long time and she'll always love me. But i start a new job next week. making good money, thats what she said she wanted, was for someone who can take care of her, i agree when she says that, because i always been deprived to myself. an alcoholic, a butt-hole more a less! i miss this girl TRULY, i been going to church now, 4 days a week. ive come to spiritual understanding with ilfe. i got a GOOD job now. i understand how to controle the jealousy. but every night it seems like my prayers have been for HER and not for god or myself. It almost seems like im selfish in wanting her in my life again. i dream of her constantly, i think of her throughout the day AND the night. I cry atleast 3 times a day for a solid hour. I cant talk to her. Cant send her a letter. IT HURTS SO BAD!! HOW CAN i convince her that im welling to change everything and become a better man FOR HER AND MYSELF. if we got back together. what should i do? i know shes hurt to. shes trying to give me this impression like shes TOUGH, she can handle this. throughout the 7 years she has always been the weak minded. always telling me DONT THROW AWAY ALL THESE YEARS STACY! AND I LISTENED. so now its time to turn the ropes. i have to convince HER. shes very special and particular in my life. and i dont know if i can spend another day feeling like this. i quit the alcohol, take meds for depression. but with the emotions of her drowning me out. its not easy changing. if anyone has some advice (good advice), maybe some tips on what i can do. i HAVE to atleast try. cause on down the road ill fel guilty not for taking action, like all the times before. i have to stand my ground. thankyou for reading my article. i hope your not crying like i am right now hope to hear from ya be more than welcome to add me on yahoo!