SexySadie7 Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Just wondering here. To the guys with kids, who are single parents. Is there a preference on whom you date, i.e. women with kids, as opposed to women without kids? If there is a prejudice toward the women with kids, why is that, and is that set in stone? If that person was loving and caring toward your kids, and didn't have any of her own yet, would you be more smitten toward her than you would a similar woman who had kids and wasn't that nice to your kids? I don't mind dating guys with kids. I love kids myself. I've dated lots of guys with kids too. I always got along well with the kids. They loved me and I loved them. I wonder if a prejudice exists now (gosh, how surprising, we live in such non-judgemental times!!! LOL.. not...) toward people without kids? I would kind of think some guy would want to date a gal without kids cuz if they got serious there wouldn't be extra mouths to feed besides their own, or one they'd create with the new woman. Link to comment
Scotcha Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Well, I'm not a guy but at one time I was a single mother. I have never dated anyone with kids.. But that's not because I have any prejudice against a man who has children, it's just the way it worked out. I can say though that there have been guys who didn't want to date me because I have a child. I can also say that there are many guys who wanted to date me. Some people can handle the extra responsibility, some people would rather not. To me though, being a parent has never made someone more attractive or dateable to me... It has more to do with how my son is treated. Also.. I was cautious about getting serious with anyone, because of my son. I never thought it was fair to have a man involved in my child's life unless spending our lives together was certain. The only man my son has loved besides his father is the man who is going to be his step dad in a few short months. I can see though why single parents would prefer to date other single parents. There is a lot of responsibility that comes with raising a child and it would put both people at a similar place in their lives. Link to comment
boomvang Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Sadie, I'm a single man with three kids, non-custodial, oldest is 13. They are with me about 1/3 of the time. My SO has one child living with her who is the same age as my oldest and they get along pretty well but you have to understand - they don't see much of each other. We have discussed marriage, or at least co-habitating, but have ruled it out until her son is 18. There are just too many reasons not to blend the families to even go into, but we both think we are pretty smart people and neither think it's a good idea to try to merge households until the net result is only two people. I've thought about this... from a selfish standpoint it would be great to be with a woman with no kids of her own (at least none in the home with her) and a cheerful willingness to help me with mine - heck I might even go for custody - but this is the real world. In spite of whatever Neil Clark Warren may think, in the real world choosing a partner isn't like browsing a chinese buffet. You can specify your criteria all day long, but you'll fall in love with whoever you fall in love with regardless of how selective you want to be. I personally ain't willing to tighten down my selection criteria at the risk of missing the love of my life who just might happen to have six kids. But then, I'm not looking for someone with whom to immediately set up housekeeping, and I'll tell you this, Sadie - if finding someone to feed you and your kids' hungry mouths is on the front burner of your love search, you're opening yourself up for some cruel brushes with reality. This is the 21st century, and in the bulk of the free world women are as capable of feeding their mouths as are men. If you need a man to feed you, you better be ready to chew whatever he shovels in. Own your financial life and then work on your love life - they really really need to be two different things. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 I don't mind dating guys with kids. I love kids myself. I've dated lots of guys with kids too. I always got along well with the kids. They loved me and I loved them. With a quote like the one above, it seems as though it's possible that you don't take dating with children involved seriously. Might that have something to do with it? Not to be overly harsh here but if I dated a guy who had dated "lots of girls with kids" and "loved all those kids," I'd be very hesitant to allow him in my childrens lives. JMO Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 Well.. i'm not sure why you would think I take them situations casually just because many of the men i've dated had kids, and i didn't have problems with getting along with them at all. I never said I loved all the kids.. but I did date a guy for several years who had lots of kids! That's what I was referring to I guess. I didn't expect my post to be picked apart word for word. Maybe you are jealous, I don't know. I've always find that the kids of the guys I've dated were alot like their dads. Hence if I like the guy enough to fall in love with him, doesn't it make sense i'd like the qualities in his kids too? Sometimes I've missed the kids too more than the dad, cause kids are very sweet and giving and nonjudgemental. I've still not heard from the single dads here. Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 Sorry, did see your post earlier. Thanks for the input boomvang.. I'm not looking for a meal ticket btw... only someone to love. I never said I had any hungry mouths to feed either. I'm a bit confused by your post, did you assume that? Link to comment
boomvang Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Sorry, did see your post earlier. Thanks for the input boomvang.. I'm not looking for a meal ticket btw... only someone to love. I never said I had any hungry mouths to feed either. I'm a bit confused by your post, did you assume that? I guess so Sadie, sorry. a$s u me truth be told, I forgot what we were talking about altogether. Buy me lunch? Link to comment
Locke2121 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 I don't have kids, but a single mom with kids wouldn't bother me at all! I love kids, in fact I'd insist on taking the kids out with us from time to time! Have a nice "family" time. Women like it when they know that the men in their lives can deal with and enjoy being with children. Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted March 8, 2007 Author Share Posted March 8, 2007 WOW.. First I got someone telling me not to look for a meal ticket, then I got a guy asking me to buy HIM lunch! Geez.. please.. my feelings are bruised enough. Well.. thanks for responding ScreenagerX, that's motivating to hear! Thanks alot. I'm very glad to hear that single women have a chance with divorced men! Yeah, I dated this one divorced guy, he had one kid, had like half custody, but the minute he found out I didn't have kids, he acted like he was part of some special club and I wasn't! I know how hard kids are to raise, but really, he's only had to see his kid part time. I dated another guy, he had 5 kids, all living with him, I spent at least half the week with him, and we never had any problems getting along! I thought it was great living with him and his kids. He had really good kids by the way, very sweet and unpretenscious. I guess that was a large part of it. But I've dated guys with kids that could be brats at times.. whatever.. we were all brats at one time during our childhood. I really don't mind dating a guy with kids. And at this point, I'm more likely to find guys with kids than ones without ones. But it seems in my neck of the woods, if you don't have kids, you viewed as some kind of social misfit! Hell, I hardly make enough money in this area to support myself, let alone a kid! Most people live in trailers around here cuz the economy is so bad! I'm not kidding..... I guess I could go out and get myself pregnant so I'd be more socially acceptable but that seems like drastic extremes just to attract a decent man. Link to comment
boomvang Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 Most people live in trailers around here cuz the economy is so bad! I'm not kidding..... I guess I could go out and get myself pregnant so I'd be more socially acceptable but that seems like drastic extremes just to attract a decent man. Sadie, are you in Arkansas? You know what a tornado and a divorce have in common in Arkansas? SOMEONE is gonna lose a mobile home. as for the getting pregnant thing: that does seem a bit over the top, but... call me anyway. Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted March 9, 2007 Author Share Posted March 9, 2007 No.. I'm not in Arkansas Boom, are you? LOL what am I calling ya for anyway? hehehe Link to comment
boomvang Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 No.. I'm not in Arkansas Boom, are you? LOL what am I calling ya for anyway? hehehe shoot, I can't remember. Link to comment
SarahRose Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 No, I would never date anyone with little kids. Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted March 10, 2007 Author Share Posted March 10, 2007 typical for someone from Arkansas.... lol.. just j/king. I don't mind dating a guy with kids. It shows too what he's like as a parent, and that shows alot about someone's character, how they treat others. Link to comment
Spanky Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 I don't think there is a 'right' answer. Dating someone with children means haven't children from 2 households to get along or dating a single person without children, means them dealing with children that aren't theirs as a step parent. Each brings it's own issues. If a guys wants to judge you based on the fact that you haven't had children, then he's not worth wasting time on. You sound like you have plenty of love to give and will find the right guy / family. Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted March 11, 2007 Author Share Posted March 11, 2007 Ah... thanks Spanky. I do have alot of love to give some guy. I was shocked that guy would make so much of it, that i hadn't had kids yet. It was like I had to be some soccer mom to quality for his circle of friends! Geez.. what's funny is, that since my early 20s, i've been dating mostly guys with kids. I've never run into this kind of narrow-minded attitude before! I had recently become friends with this other guy too, who has a kid who's like 25. he seems to look his nose down on people, also, who don't have kids yet either! Wow.. there are some narrow minded people running around. The funny thing is, the guy with a kid, doesn't have that seem to have that much money to spend anyway..he's living in a tiny place... it doesn't look like he can support his kid and some else's anyway, I don't know why he'd care if you didn't have a kid! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Something just hit me..... Why do you continuously date men with children? Are you hoping that's a way into a man's heart? Seems to me since you are obviously and eligible bachelorette, that you'd find an eligible bachelor to have a relationship with. Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 I'm asking the single dads, not the single moms, cuz men and women simply do not think the same way. Which is perfectly fine, but I needed to know other single dads think about dating women without kids. Link to comment
DN Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Thread closed for flaming and disrespect Link to comment
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