Sleeping around..why do i do it?

[Steven1607307306]

okay.. forgive me for being noisy but how do you have sex with someone if you aren't talking to them yet?

Do you hold up signs saying, please take off your clothes for me? LOL

forgive me.. but that sounds funny, would you mind explaining?

 

And in concurrence with your other posts, it's good too you don't preclude having a relationship wiht someone you're having casual sex with, I guess.

 

Well I didn't mean not talking in literal terms...we never conversed. Little things like, "Hey can I come over and chill with you?" Or, "That was fun...do you have a cigarette?" She was quick to the punch and left pretty quickly for like 2 weeks before we started to talk about ourselves to each other.

[quietgrl]

okay.. forgive me for being noisy but how do you have sex with someone if you aren't talking to them yet?

Do you hold up signs saying, please take off your clothes for me? LOL

forgive me.. but that sounds funny, would you mind explaining?

 

And in concurrence with your other posts, it's good too you don't preclude having a relationship wiht someone you're having casual sex with, I guess.

 

I love your funny post(Rolling on the floor laughing)

[mintblossom]

sarahmarie,

here is some real advice. the kind of advice that i wish someone would have laid out plain and clear for me and the reasons why. however, it is your decision what you choose.

 

1. stop having sex, step back from dating and really look at what you want.

2. use the time away from men to clear your head.

3. define your boundaries, what are they? what will you do and won't do?

4. affirm your boundaries and set guidelines for accepting or not accepting how you will be treated.

5. follow your own values, and rules. if a guy doesn't accept it, be OKAY with him walking out. this is the only way you will remain true to yourself.

 

that's about it. we need to be very clear, very firm in what we will or won't do. we need to be prepared to defend our boundaries if someone tries to pressure us. say "no, i don't want this" and give yourself physical distance from the person if they will not do what you ask. be prepared to call a friend to come get you or to remove yourself from the situation.

 

as girls, especially when we are attractive and young, we leave ourselves open to guys who might want to pressure, take advantage, or see what they can get. guys can manipulate, lie, but if you are very firm and clear what you will and will not do.....you will save yourself.

 

a lot of this is about boundaries, really knowing yourself, and not putting yourself in vulnerable positions. as a young girl......hey, even last year! i did not have much dating experience and did not know what the hell i was doing. i left myself very open with unscrupulous people in bad situations. sometimes i look back and i want to bang my head on the wall and say "what was i thinking?" i was able to fend off a number of unscrupulous men, but i did get taken in by a few guys.

 

no one ever sat down and talked to me about sex. i barely remembered any of the info i learned in sex ed besides what disease has what symptoms. however, i did not have a role model to sit down and talk with me about consequences, values or morals. as young women, it is your responsiblity to protect yourself.

 

i had to learn the hard way by meeting several male sleazes. it left me with heavy emotional baggage, loss of faith in humanity, hurt, trauma......if i had known then what i know now......i learned the hard way.

 

it makes me wonder why girls are not taught this. men are taught they can do whatever they want. but for girls their are consequences ranging from loss of reputation to stds to pregnancy to emotional damage to date rape.

 

when women have sex, their bodies produce oxycotin (i think). this is a hormone that increases bonding and attachment feelings. it is also present in breast milk. that's why the more sex you have with a guy the more attached you will feel. for men, the amount of testosterone their body produces overwhelms the amount of oxycotin, which is why males do not feel emotionally attached after sex. chalk it up to evolution. but still.....protect your emotional and sexual health.

 

and btw, everything i said here.....i have to learn to do myself. gah.

[Steven1607307306]

=D> Great advice. It shouldn't be a debate whether or not it's right or wrong. It's YOUR own personal values.