Friendship Turned Relationship Over For Good! Shocked & Upset!!

[NyGentleman]

This girl that i have been crushing on for 2yrs + broke my heart! We went through so much, found each other after our own relationships fell apart, progressed as much as we could and than finally we made it official...

 

4 days in and she gives me the i have to be honest with you i feel like i rushed into this, i have been nervous and didnt know how to break it to you, i think i need time to be by myself, im not mentally ready to be serious with anyone...

 

WoW!! Im so hurt, and to add insult to injury she led me to believe the entire 4 months leading up to the 4 days that we could make this work, she loved me so she said all the time and wanted to marry me blah blah blah....what happened here i don't get it...

 

Did i mention the ex wrote her some emails recently that he wanted to talk to her, get some things out...did i also mention she became depressed after her breakup with him, with friends and school etc....is she that dumb to ruin a great thing to get sucked back in by the ex and his emails? He played her royally and i never let her down ....now she is doing what he did to her to me...what do I do? Wait it out? Never look back? NC for sometime?

 

Did i also mention she wants nothing to change, go back to friends with benefits basically but without the title to see what happens from here...wow again am i missing something or is this really F-D up....

 

I just cant get this empty feeling to go away...im utterly shocked at this and dont know how to handle it....

 

Update 1 we talked and we talked some more and what i realized is that she has just turned off like a light bulb with me, now not even thinking being intimate without the relationship is a thing anymore, which makes me feel even worse...it was the intial attraction, the wow factor of how we clicked, how we jumped into something and now the reaction afterwards, well she doesnt know if it was lust she doesnt know if she really loved me, she admitted to holding back for the sake of fear from the past of getting hurt or being the one who hurt me, she wanted to do the right thing....

 

She made it very clear that the future will hold all the answers that she needed time to find herself again (if anyone is counting this would be the 2nd time)...but this is what happens and than she comes and finds me and round and round we go...do i just let it end for good here? How do i act when i see her? Its very hard for me and yet for her right now its not a thing anymore like it once was, how can females be so cold? If i did this to her it would be the end of the world, why doesnt she see it like that with me....

 

Im slowly coming to terms with all this and realizing that she has some soul searching to do, she also has alot of committment issues which stem back to her childhood i am sure and her not having parents to mold her ....

 

Why is it so hard for me to let go? Yes she was beautiful and the girl made me laugh but she also broke my heart twice now, ....I need enotalone support now more than ever!!

 

Update 2 Talked to her friend, not close friend but close enough, she thinks she used me as rebound for her ex without realizing it, and now that she realizes it might have turned her off from all the great things we experienced, whateverr that means...

 

As well as hearing that i actually saw the girl in the parking lot and guess what not even a budge to look at me or say anything, wow so cold....

 

Its so F-D up to think after everything she said to me through the months we had together means nothing now....

 

Did I mention im getting emails asking why I never said hello to her that day? Does this make sense to anyone? You dont want to be with me, walk away from pretty much everything we had but you get annoyed when i see you and dont say hello? and make it a point to write me and tell me this in an email....

[Beec]

It sounds to me like you need to tell her "I need some time away from you, because I don't like you very much for trying to play me." And then get some NC with her.

 

It seems that she really had a bit going on with her emotions. So, I can somewhat see her changing feelings, but that's not a real excuse for playing.

 

Hang in there. It will get better.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

it sounds like she was never over her ex before you, and maybe still is not over him. is there a chance she got back with him, or is trying to get back with him. if she is hung up on someone else, she may have realized that she did not have the right feelings she should for you.

 

and maybe she is waiting to see if she can forget him, but until then doesn't want to be involved with anyone else.

 

but you have to decide whether see her and communicating with her is too painful for you, or makes you angry. it might be better to stop contact with her for a while, and tell her that if she changes her mind and does want to date you, then she can call you. otherwise you might just end up being her friend to hold onto while she still pines for her ex and hopes she gets him back. that is not good for or fair to you to be with someone who is rejecting you and wants someone else.

[NyGentleman]

Thanks, Im messing with the idea of keeping the NC as I am doing right now or replying to her email with something short and sweet and than taking it from there....