New Baby Questions...

[BornToResist]

I'm a new mother, I just gave birth to my son a little over two weeks ago. My baby is great and I'm sure he probably doesn't cry any more than any other baby, but since I'm going at this solo, it's pretty challenging.

 

But I just need to know if these few things are normal, and if so, does anybody have any advice to make things a little easier?

 

Okay...so I cannot put him down. AT ALL. I can FINALLY get him to sleep after 30 minutes of feeding and rocking him, but when I go to put him down in his bassinet, he will wake up immediately (or sometimes after like 5 minutes, while I'm doing my I-finally-got-him-to-sleep victory dance) and scream his cute little head off and I have to start all over. He really hates being in there or anywhere orther than my arms for that matter, but I don't know why or how to make it better! Is it just a newborn thing? Is there anything I can do to make it more comfy for him???

 

It just seems that unless I'm holding him, he's pissed off at the world. Sometimes he's okay if I just lay him on my bed or if I lay down WITH him, but I don't want to always do this. I'm scared about SIDS and all that so I really want him to sleep on his own, but he just won't.

 

Any advice would be appreciated, I'm tearing out my hair here people! ANY TIPS????

[Mythical_Suicide]

He's still at that age he's adjusting to being in the outside world. Do you swaddle him when you lay him down? It may just take a while before he gets used to being away from you even asleep.

[Locke2121]

Perfectly normal. Like Mythical said, swaddling can help, especially if the top of his head is lightly covered. It makes him feel warm and secure. With time he'll sleep more and more on his own.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

newborns are used to a pretty snug fit in the womb, and then they're out in the big wide world which is cold and a totally different thing than what they are used to... so when he is wrapped in your arms and hears you heartbeat, it is comforting for him and more 'normal' after his 9 months in your womb.

 

But there are ways to help him acclimate to being out in the world... Did they teach you how to swaddle your baby at the hospital? it is a technique to wrap them in a blanket that makes them feel that snug as a bug in a rug feeling they had in the womb, and often helps them calm and sleep.

 

you usually see babies wrapped up this way in their incubators at hospitals because it soothes them. here's one website, but you can search this on the web and find more info on how to swaddle if you'd like:

 

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you can also buy sound devices that mimic the whooshing sounds of the mother's heartbeat that you can put near the baby to help him sleep when out of your arms. you just have to try to recreate that wombish environment for him until he learns how to sleep outside the womb.

 

he could also have a little colic such that when you lay him down he feels that more. there is medication for that if you suspect his is not digesting his milk properly. some babies digestive systems just aren't quite ready yet.

 

most new mothers worry about SIDS but it isn't that common... it is actually much more dangerous to fall asleep with the baby on your own bed because you can roll on the baby while asleep yourself, or the baby can get tangled up in your own bed covers. so better to swaddle the baby in his own crib on his back.

 

sometimes babies just do cry, and new mothers need to learn to sleep when he sleeps (i know, that's never enough)... and if you pick him up whenever he cries, he will learn to cry more to get picked up!

 

it doesn't mean you should let him cry forever unattended, but to just soothe him with your voice and touch while he is in the crib, rather than in your arms, so he learns to associate the crib with nice things (and sleep)... so pull up a chair, and soothe and massage him, but try not to pick him up every time, or he will learn to cry more to get picked up.

 

try comforting him and rubbing his head gently all over his scalp under your open palm (no real pressure, just a featherlight caress with no finger pressure) while he is crying and in the crib (but don't pick him up), and if he starts to wake up and fuss, just rub his head some more... a technique i learned from a Swedish roommate, where a little gentle head rubbing makes them very sleepy and happy (works on grown people too)... i didn't believe her until she showed me, but i have seen it work on lots of babies!

 

any way, best of luck, enjoy your baby, but you will enjoy him much more when you get a little sleep!

[BornToResist]

Thanks guys...

 

I have learned to rub his face and try to comfort him when he's in his own bed, but the second I stop, he cries. And doesn't stop. I've tried to not pick him up, but it seems by that time he's so hysterical that it takes twice as long to settle him down and he has never once fallen back to sleep.

 

I did swaddle him for a while, and he loved it until now. I actually bought some "swaddle-me" blanket things that I definently recommend, but like I said, he doesn't seem to like that anymore. And it doesn't quite make sense cause sometimes he wakes himself up because he starts flailing his arms and legs and hits himself in the face. I'd think he'd prefer to be swaddled, but now he just twists and turns and looks like a little worm until the screaming starts again. *sigh*

 

Sometimes I stand there bent over his bassinet trying to make him feel comfy and like I'm there, but the second I leave, he starts again.

 

One of the hardest parts is that I think he'd get so tired out from crying that he'd just fall asleep...but it seems he has an entirely different scream when he's unhappy and over-tired. He uses that instead of falling asleep.

 

*SIGH* Okay I swear I'm not just a big complainer, but I feel so helpless and that there HAS to be something I'm missing. WHERE is the baby manual exactly?????!

 

Any more tips are still welcome but I *may* have found an answer. I just ordered one of those baby beds that go in my bed and hopefully that will work. I've never heard of anybody using them, but I have extremely high hopes. It even has an incline for acid-reflux (which I know is a problem for him because he gags when I lay him down flat) so I'm crossing my fingers.

[Daddy Bear]

Yeah, I went through this stage five times as a dad. Swaddling helps for sure, and so does a ticking clock. Quiet, soothing music (like light jazz or classical) will capture his attention to a point and also stimulate the development of his brain. Another trick I discovered was to put my babies in my lap and move my feet a little to gently but rapidly bob them up and down. This seems to lull them to sleep fairly quickly.

 

Unfortunately for us parents, newbies do need nearly continuous human contact - without any they actually can die - so try to grin and bear it as best you can.

 

By the way - congratulations, mommy.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Keep him swaddle!! Its not that he doesn't like it he's probably just trying to find his nooks and such. I didnt understand this until I was told this by my son's pediatrician and they showed me how to properly do it.Keep it up, he is still getting used to the big world around him

[Daddy Bear]

Two weeks is a little young for a stroller. I would recommend 'papoosing' him as an alternative to that. Keeps your hands free, too.

[aymee_lee]

Congrats on the baby BTR!

 

I don't have children but I was a part time nanny with one family and when they had a new baby I was sitting for them when their new baby was less than a week old.

 

I think swaddling works well too. But I found with their baby that she knew (maybe as she got a bit older though, probably not at 2 weeks) she could keep herself awake. She didn't like to sleep and I always felt that she knew if she kept moving around she would keep herself awake (which it did). I found if i swaddled her and held her firmly in my arms she would most often fall asleep fairly rapidly.

 

I know it's hard but I found the more you hold them the more they expect it. Then, when you don't have the time to hold them, they don't want to go to sleep. Hopefully if you try the great strategies as suggested by other posters he will get used to you not holding him while he sleeps. Hopefully the baby bed works well too.

 

I could be wrong about the stroller but if he's secure wouldn't that be ok? I have known people do that but maybe their babies were older.

 

He's only 2 weeks old so he's still developing as you are what he likes and doesn't like. I'm sure you're doing a great job!

[justpaisley]

That baby manual's on Amazon in their "I Really, Really Wish" section. *sigh*

 

How well does he burp after you feed him? I read on the prego forum that you're breastfeeding - have you monitored your diet for things that might make him gassy, like dairy or spicy foods? Are you sure that your milk has come in all the way and he's not just hungry all the time? Also, how are you holding him - is he generally upright, like laying face down on your chest? Some babies have an issue with acid reflux and laying them down really does hurt them. If that's the case, there an sleep positioner at Babies R Us called the link removed pillow.

 

Those are just a few suggestions. Since he's only 2 weeks old, do what you need to do to get your rest - don't try to "teach" him anything (like sleeping on his own) till he's at least 6 weeks old. There are actually no studies that show that babies who sleep with their moms in bed safely have a higher risk of SIDS. Google "family bed and SIDS" - you'll find a lot of articles on the subject, as well as a lot of sites that can help you learn how to co-sleep safely. I don't do it, I always kept my son in a bassinet and now his crib, but if nothing else would keep him from crying and let us get some sleep, you're darn tootin' he was right in bed with me.

[southerngirl]

Swaddling him like a little burrito can help as the others have suggested. Do you have a vibrating bouncy seat? I think thats a life saver. I put my 10 week old in it all the time and she seems happy as can be. Also if he is sitting up a little bit in it, he is inclined in such a way it will help with the indigestion he maybe feeling.

 

Good Luck girl and hang in there... this too shall pass and you will long for the days you could hold him tight without him pushing off to run away.

[BornToResist]

Good Luck girl and hang in there... this too shall pass and you will long for the days you could hold him tight without him pushing off to run away.

 

Aw, how sad is that!! I know it's true. I already can't believe three weeks have gone by.

 

Okay so I tried swaddling him again last night, and he seemed to really like it. Well he screams his head off for about 5-10 minutes but then he passes out and seems to sleep much better for a much longer time.

 

He still has to be held all the time (I do have a bouncy seat which he is slowly getting used to...it really seemed to help that I put a mirror in front of him so he just sits there and stares at himself and calms him down a lot) but I'll just wait it out until he's a little older.

[Locke2121]

Give him time luv. It like us being jerked out into space! He was warm, it was quiet, dark, everything was soft and soothing. He had your heartbeat and the muffled sounds of the world to lull him to sleep. Now everything is bright, loud and scratchy. He'll get used to it, but he doesn't have to like doing it!

[Paranoid]

SIDS is not actually the fault of the parents or neglect or any of that. Babies do get smothered when their parent unknowingly rolls over on top of them, but that is not SIDS. Research about SIDS has shown that a brain anomaly is linked to it. Basically the baby doesn't know they aren't getting enough oxygen and dies from breathing too much carbon dioxide. Normal babies would know to turn over or cry or wake up, but SIDS babies don't.

 

Here is a link to the article:

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Have you tried one of those bouncy seats or a swing? One of my cousins wouldn't sleep unless he was strapped into his carseat. He slept in a carseat in his crib for a long time. When the nights were really long and even that wouldn't soothe him, they put his carseat on top of the drier and turned it on. The constant hum and the slight vibration calmed him down a lot. (Make sure you DO NOT leave the baby unattended on top of the drier!!!)