Thoughts on "The One"

[splashdown]

Short question: Do you believe in the concept of "The One"? Meaning, the one person in the world you were fated to be with?

 

Further, do you believe that the person you're with or just broke up with and (presumably, want to get back with) was "The One"?

[Wandering_Sword]

I don't think anyone will truly know until they are lying on their deathbed re-accessing their lives. Not to sound like a pessimist, but anyone can leave you anytime. So whoever is still by my side till I'm dead is "the One" for me.

[zippitt]

There is no "one", as grim as it may sound many people live and die without ever being in love.

 

However, it's not all bad, because I believe in the "many". What it comes down to is a couples chemistry, communication, and commitment. It takes the right combination from two people, and I truly believe there are people out there will have an impossible time because who they are is so imcompatiable with the rest of the population. That's not to say they have no hope, it might just mean their many possiblities are only really a couple of people.

 

If you are good strong person by your society's standards chances are there are many many people out there that would work with you in a healthy loving relationship.

 

The worst thing anyone can do is wait around their whole life looking for the "one" You date until you find people compatiable enough for you.

 

Some people do get lucky, and find a person so compatiable that they click on every single level, like the 80 year old couple you see holding hands. It's a rare thing though, not to be discouraged, we can still lead very happy lives in a less than perfect relationship.

[Jetta]

I think there is really more than one out there. I've met two. One was intense feelings, the other made me swoon for the first time in my life. Now I really hope there's a 3rd and that's the charm because being alone sucks. I've seen how powerful love is I really don't want to settle for less.

 

The man I left wasn't the one, but we have a history and a child together. I knew I settled for less than love when I married him and felt I was living a lie. I met guy 1, 1 year into the marriage while taking a class in college. Got pregnant and he literally ran away. Have never seen him again. I really only want to get back with my ex because of our child and well I hate being single. I know I don't love him as much as I love these other guys, he's more of a friend. I've seen love twice and I was married when I met both. Guy #2 and I had a lot of emotional stuff to work through. He very well could have been my one. I don't know if there will be a 3rd time but I really hope so. At least I'm single now.

[fnlyfrei]

I do not believe in "The One" either. I think a person needs to choose one person, and work very hard. And love them a lot...and try to work through stuff....there is no such thing as the perfect person...because there are no perfect people and people change.

[Caterina]

I believe in fate but I don't think that fate determines everything. I think that fate is the push of the universe but that we have the free will to make decisions that are limited to our surroundings but still somewhat outside of the pull of fate. I think that fate and will and insignificant circumstantial happenings are all intertwined to create what ultimately becomes what happens. I don't think that there is "one" person for everyone but there might be one person for some? I know that I personally hold onto the faith that there is a special one man out there that I will finally connect and fall in love with. I guess we all know that there is no way of knowing, really. Still, its fun to ask/speculate. Plus, its interesting to see what people will convince themselves of when it comes to the "love of their lives..." if only to understand where people come up with these kind of conclusions.

[Semid]

I do not believe in "the one". For me that is a fantasy. I believe that there are many potencial "ones" for everyone.

[shes2smart]

As I've said here before, "The One" is a concept that causes people a lot of unnecessary misery and suffering. It puts unnecessary pressure on one's interactions with members of the opposite sex ("What if s/he's THE ONE???"), and has been used as a piss-poor excuse for people to stay in bad relationships ("I can't leave him/her...s/he's THE ONE!!!") and avoid facing challenges that would ultimately benefit them.

 

What I do believe is that every relationship (not just romantic relationships, but ALL relationships) we are in serves a purpose. We are either teacher, student or both. When the purposes of a particular relationship have been served, it's not surprising that the parties will move on. Because I believe that, it follows that I believe every relationship has a "shelf-life." Could be 2 days, 2 weeks, 5 years or until I die...but I know that every relationship I have is going to end eventually.

 

At any given moment, I think there are a number of people roaming the face of the earth who we would be compatible with. It's just a matter of being in the right mindset and being ready to be in a relationship. If you don't have some of that worked out in your own head first, it just ain't gonna happen.

 

The concept of "The One" makes for great fairy tales, movies, novels, plays and made-for-TV movies. However, as a concept applicable to one's day-to-day reality, it doesn't work so well.