phone calls and contact, is this normal?

[ItsYourChoice]

Ive been dating someone for a bit now and theres an issue...we NEVER talk on the phone.

 

In the beginning we would talk on the phone a few times a week, but at least every few days he'd text at around 5 and say ill call you later, sometimes give a time..but wouldnt.

 

He works long hours (wakes at 5 in the morning) and as ive witnessed often falls asleep by 9 or 930a nd usually hed text in the morning apologizing for not calling, he'd fallen asleep.

 

We get along, see eachother about twice a week, he's affectionate but not trying TOO hard. Ive met his family and some of his friends (group dates too).

 

He is a salesman for a big company and also having issues with his childs mother (couple years old). When ive hung out with him and his parents they talk about the court hearing and such too so i know he isnt making this up.

 

He confides in me, we talk about alot of things in person...but in the last few weeks as things in his life have heated up he doesnt call or text very much.

 

Yesterday morning i saw him briefly and he said he would text me later...nothing. So last night i texted hi to say goodnight...still nothing.

 

Is he not into me or is normal for a guy with all this stress going on to find it hard to make the time for small talk and texting? Im not really put off by it but wondring if its really a sign he isnt into me or if im doing the right thing by staying in the relationship and just being patient with his issues right now?

[Steven1607307306]

Be patient. He may be under a lot of pressure right now. Wait for him to get out of this rut, and I'm sure he'll come around.

[Batya33]

The not talking on the phone is fine especially since you see each other regularly. The promising to call and then not calling is not fine to the extent he does it. The next time he says he will call, respond with "thanks for offering to call later but I know you get busy/distracted - why don't we just speak when we see each other so that I know not to expect your call?"

[ItsYourChoice]

Well the saying he'll call and not only lasted the first couple weeks. To be honest, that kind of tipped me off that maybe he just isnt a phone person. IM not either to an extent...especially if im seeing the person regularly (id rather just talk in person).

 

As I said though, its not as if im in a rage because we dont talk..just was curious if a guy can be into you and enjoying your time and relationship (we have had the exclusive talk) but just not be in the mood to be on the phone.

 

I know things are different for men and women and men in their logical thinking just think "well she knows im busy or id call"

[Batya33]

Actually, no I don't agree. It depends on how the person views reliability and the meaning/strength of his word.

 

I think it's fine if he's not a phone person - if your conversation flows in person that's really what matters.

[Momene]

I don't tend to talk on the phone a lot. For me you use the phone to make arrangements to meet up.