rocio Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I'm excited about your date. Please, resist any urge to talk about you-know-who. And let us know how it goes. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 I'm excited about your date. Please, resist any urge to talk about you-know-who. And let us know how it goes. I definitely won't talk about my ex! Does it have to be called a date though? I can't go on a date! I can hang out with a friend though.... ? ? Link to comment
rocio Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 We can call it whatever you want. When I go out with my girlfriends I call it a date. I guess it's semantics. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 Okay - that makes sense.. I'm gonna go out and relax and enjoy... I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go. Dang it.... I am worried that as soon as I hang out with someone else, I will feel weirdly "unloyal" or that it will feel so "unfamiliar" that I will miss the familiarness of him even though our rel wasn't good. Link to comment
rocio Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Yeah that will probably happen. Just remember that it's an unavoidable phase in the whole process of moving on to bigger and better things. Link to comment
L.J. Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Okay - that makes sense.. I'm gonna go out and relax and enjoy... I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go. Dang it.... I am worried that as soon as I hang out with someone else, I will feel weirdly "unloyal" or that it will feel so "unfamiliar" that I will miss the familiarness of him even though our rel wasn't good. That's the whole point of the process ... you are familiarizing life afresh. There's nothing disloyal about it. Leave the past behind and enjoy getting to know your reconnected friend better. Have a blast .... Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 That's the whole point of the process ... you are familiarizing life afresh. There's nothing disloyal about it. Leave the past behind and enjoy getting to know your reconnected friend better. Have a blast .... Thank you, L.J. Really, your comment is much, much appreciated. I can do this. I can familiarize with life afresh. I will - Link to comment
Dilly Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I'm so happy you're going out with an old friend for bowling and dinner tonight. That sounds really positive and constructive. It's nice your calendar is filled to get you through this. Link to comment
L.J. Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I can do this. I can familiarize with life afresh. I will Of course you can ... as long as you don't bring the past to the table. Jump over the bridge and build wings on your way down ... breathe ... smell the freedom ... you're liberated !!! Link to comment
L.J. Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Dilly !! Long time no see. How are you? How's the new baby? You are a new mom, aren't you? Hugs to you and the newborn ... on the way with the next warm breeze. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted February 26, 2007 Author Share Posted February 26, 2007 I hope you are all doing well! I went Friday night. It felt so good, getting ready to go out and all. My friend was impressive, seems to have a good head on his shoulders and all. I did not bring up my past relationship. My friend however brought up dating and all. He seems to be the type that would rush into a relationship. I made it clear that is not something for me as I'd really just like to build friendships. But anyhow, yes we had a good time! I had several little ones over for a slumber party Sat night and we had a blast! Always so much fun with all of them! We played and played Sat evening and played dress up Sunday morning. The girls in my dresses/jewelry/shoes and the boys in old super hero custumes. Lots of fun. I'm not exactly doing well with NC. He added me to his friends list Friday night. And what do I do, accept it. Bleh. There's nothing on it really. Lots of female friends and music. And why did it take me posting about it on here to realize what an idiot I am? Goodness Gracious. I need to get rid of my computer at home or something! He also sent me a text Saturday. "Found a Car Charger." No kidding - I told him it was in his car last weekend when we split. I responded "I know - told you it was in there - didn't want to contact you about it." I left it at that. I don't want the charger. I can afford a new one. I refuse to actually "see" him in person or even meet briefly to get a cell phone charger. Bleh! Anyhow - - enough. No thoughts allowed of him today. I've got work to do! Have a great one everyone! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted February 27, 2007 Author Share Posted February 27, 2007 I just realized something last night when I was thinking about things. First off, I must say, I did check his myspace a couple of times. But then to further explain why. I know - I need to let go completely and I am definitely working on that. I am definitely having difficulty letting go 100%. I strongly thought about deleting him so I could not see his page / he could not see mine. But I worry that without that little string of being in the know, I will start calling him or text messaging him all the time. This is a true fear.... As ridiculous as it is. I know, I know... Let me have it! I need to be a big girl and get on with my life and be stronger about no contact. Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Hey ITG...Read my latest thread "A Simple Realization that May help you".... That's my advice to you . Stay strong.... Link to comment
Dilly Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 You are such a fun mother!!! I love hearing about your kids and all the fun stuff you do with them. I know it's not exciting, but maybe that's all J offered, was an up and down all around roller coaster that kept your spirits shaken up and maybe at times, it felt bubbly, but that's only cuz they were fizzy from being shaken so much. PROUD OF YOU!!! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 1, 2007 Author Share Posted March 1, 2007 Waving hand!!! Waving hand!!!! Just have to say something. I did good today! J brought my cell/car charger over and put it on my doorknob last night or this morning. Normally, by instinct, and desperation, I would have taken that chance and sent him an email or called him to thank him. I've done neither and don't plan to...! High fives? Link to comment
Dilly Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 HIGH FIVE CHICA!!! I do think that silence is golden now. And you're doing it with calm resolve, no hard feelings towards him. You know, you are ending this on the note that you wanted to. It's a good thing. I love it! Keep it up and keep him guessing because he doesn't really deserve a gesture of appreciation. In a way, it's almost like he's a lab scientist, poking at the lab animal with crude instruments to see what kind of reaction will manifest. No reaction suggests he doesn't know anything about the animal he thought he knew so well and will likely frustrate him, which while that is not your intended outcome, is better than doing the predictable, responding in ways that make him feel power and control over you. GOOD JOB! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 Bleh - Thank you Dilly! The Bleh is because I feel like a darned lab animal for him! Or at least I used to be. So - Confession: Over that past 14 days, I have sent him snide comments here and there on myspace. Only a few. And sent when I felt I had to let those out to get past them. I also sent some sappy msg a few days ago when I awoke at 1:30 am. It stated "I know we can't be together but this sucks." Anyhow - I haven't sent him any messages for two days. I didn't send him a thanks in regards to the charger. And he just sent me 3 messages last night. I was sleeping thank goodness. I may not have been strong enough to refrain from responding. His messages: 1) In response to a msg I sent 9 days ago asking why he stayed. His response: Because I hoped things would change. That we'd get back what we lost.-----How could they have changed? He stayed the same! How could he hope things would get back to what they used to be? 2) Found someone to replace me? -----Yes!!!! Someone that can fill my dreams, desires, hopes, happiness. Someone that doesn't constantly reject me, break me down, ignore me. MYSELF 3) Think it's funny you and A are now friends since you always got upset at her remarks on my page. -----A is his ex bestfriends wife. They are the ones he started ignoring a few months ago. She and I have talked alot. We are both trying to heal from being wounded by someone that can walk away from supposed loved ones and children without feeling a bit of guilt. His comments / responses are in blue. Anyhow... I did not respond this morning. I don't plan to respond. And I added a couple of songs to my myspace. Freebird and Don't Come Around Here No More. I'm so freaking high school right now! Link to comment
Dilly Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Yeah, it's getting a bit pickled with the indirect communication. I mean, I dunno. It seems like you have a LOT of hostility for him and then, that you want him by your side at other times. I'm not sure what to think right now. His answer about finding someone else - Himself - is actually a decent answer, but indirectly meant to take you down with a sucker punch. Any interaction you voluntarily enter into at this point in time should be thought of as analogous to touching a hot stove to see if it's still on. You guys aren't helping each other with your comments and back and forth tango. It's funny in its own high-school way and almost like comic relief so if that's entertaining for you both, then great. No harm, no foul. It almost seems like you both like poking at your relationship with a long sharp stick. Been there, done that and in some cases, maintaining a sense of humor and a sense that we're all human and capable of mistakes... well, you become more tolerant without completely going NC and ... but from what you say about your late night texts, you both miss each other. Time away isn't such a bad thing. It allows for growth. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 Real quick Dilly! The ----- were my thoughts! Not his responses! Link to comment
rocio Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 2) Found someone to replace me? -----Yes!!!! Someone that can fill my dreams, desires, hopes, happiness. Someone that doesn't constantly reject me, break me down, ignore me. MYSELF Amen sister! Good for you for not writing back. It says more than words could ever say. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 Amen sister! Good for you for not writing back. It says more than words could ever say. Thank you, Hazey! I did actually write that out as a response. Re-read it and re-read it. lol And deleted it! I think no response is best! Link to comment
bitbybit Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 2) Found someone to replace me? -----Yes!!!! Someone that can fill my dreams, desires, hopes, happiness. Someone that doesn't constantly reject me, break me down, ignore me. MYSELF . . . . . . I'm so freaking high school right now! Good for you, ITG! -- I will use the MYSELF idea whenever I want to break my own NC -- thanks for that. Also -- so, what's wrong with being high school? I know I didn't enjoy it when I was in it, so what's wrong with re-visiting that stuff when you're older and "wiser"? heh. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 Good for you, ITG! -- I will use the MYSELF idea whenever I want to break my own NC -- thanks for that. Also -- so, what's wrong with being high school? I know I didn't enjoy it when I was in it, so what's wrong with re-visiting that stuff when you're older and "wiser"? heh. Please do use it. I hope it will help you - pray that it will help both of us. I hope that I can resolve my feelings and get through this soon. Very soon. And never, ever revisit high school or the drama club again. Link to comment
Dilly Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Real quick Dilly! The ----- were my thoughts! Not his responses! Good grief, I totally didn't get that!!! HAHAHAHAHA/// sorry, airhead today. Link to comment
Dilly Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 I'm so glad you didn't write him back... it is true how no response is a very informative response. KEEP IT UP G-FRIEND!!! Link to comment
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