unmenomore Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Hi, I met a really cute guy on myspace. I really like him or at least am infatuated wtih him. He has like hundreds of female friends on his page. He is single. He told me he is dating and talking to other people. I appreciate his honesty, But this bothers me. I can't deal with the thought of him talking to other girls online. Lately he doesnt call me anymore and I'm pretty sure he's talking to another girl online. I know alot of girls flirt with him because hes really cute and I dont think he is a "player" as he is just talking to girls online and he IS single. But do you think its a red flag that he has so many female friends and flirts with ALL of them? or is this normal, ok behavior? Link to comment
jengh Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Have you actually met this guy face-to-face? If not, I honestly wouldn't waste your time. Even if you have, I definitely wouldn't get into a relationship with him. But then again, I have a pretty jealous personality. I think that if it bothers YOU (forget what everyone else says), then this isn't a good situation to be in. Link to comment
Lily04 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 seems normal to me. if he's single... and you're not dating... why not? you can't "deal with the thought of him talking with other girls online"?? This screams WAY OVERPROTECTIVE... do you talk with men online, or ONLY girls?? I think you just have to chill and take it slow... if you're not in a relationship yet, then it's cool to flirt. Link to comment
Zaphod Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Read the "myspace" thread. Link to comment
Lily04 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 btw it's not "cheating" if you're not in a relationship yet, and flirting with other girls on an online website certainly isn't cheating. how old are you? just curious... Link to comment
jengh Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 btw it's not "cheating" if you're not in a relationship yet, and flirting with other girls on an online website certainly isn't cheating. how old are you? just curious... EXACTLY! Especially if you've never met him--definitely not cheating. Link to comment
unmenomore Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 Yes I know. I think cheating is the wrong word. I know its cool to have a few people to flirt with but he just has ALOT... I guess he's just very popular. I know its ok to flirt online. I just dont know how to go about it. We did meet before. But I thought we would continue getting to know each other. Know it seems to have stopped. How do i keep getting to know him with so many other girls craving for his attention. Should I "compete" for his attention? or should I move on? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Hi, I met a really cute guy on myspace. I really like him or at least am infatuated wtih him. He has like hundreds of female friends on his page. He is single. He told me he is dating and talking to other people. I appreciate his honesty, But this bothers me. I can't deal with the thought of him talking to other girls online. Lately he doesnt call me anymore and I'm pretty sure he's talking to another girl online. I know alot of girls flirt with him because hes really cute and I dont think he is a "player" as he is just talking to girls online and he IS single. But do you think its a red flag that he has so many female friends and flirts with ALL of them? or is this normal, ok behavior? He is not cheating because you are not dating him - he is a stranger you type and talk to. I wouldn't date someone who had that type of myspace profile, but that's just me. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 hm. he seems to have stopped contacting you? did you try contacting him? if you did and you didn't get much of a response back, then yes, it's likely that he's just talking to other women and not intent on finding one right now. no big deal. it's so important not to get too attached to someone until you've known them for a while..... I know, this is my weakness! Link to comment
unmenomore Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 Yes I have a feeling this is it. I know its no big deal but the problem is I am getting attached. I am hoping to be just friends, and that is what i have been trying to do. But in getting to know him i start to like him so i begin to wonder, should I "fight" for his attention and be among the many women he is talking to, or do i try to be just his friend... Well i guess I should also let him make more of a move on me right? if he is interested? Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 meh, I don't know, I sure wouldn't fight for him. I met a guy like that too on myspace, told me about all the other women he is talking to. Actually, I met more than one guy like that! One of the guys, I just flat out said, "You know what, I don't want to join your harem." and I cancelled our date. Link to comment
Lily04 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 There's one guy like that I was interested in (never dated mind you, I also met him online) but he added me as a friend on Facebook after not talking for a few months... now we are friends online, but he had sooooo many girls hitting on him, i told him if he just wants to go for coffee as friends or something that's cool, but nothing more. The thing was that I might have seen him as a potential interest, but he didn't seem to communicate enough interest to me for me to think there was anything, and as he was flirting with 200 other women, i just left it at that. he said that he just got out of a relationship & wasn't looking for anything serious, but as I am, I figured we weren't on the same wavelength anyway. BUT thinking about this.....this is sorta interesting because I have multiple guys flirting with me/messaging me on my wall on facebook... i have around 400 posts and most of the recent v-day ones are guys hitting on me....but i'm not seriously interested in any of them. so there u go... might not mean anything but flirtation.. i don't think it's as bad as some guys though, it's pretty light flirtation if any... i suppose a guy who was interested in me might get a bit intimidated though, not sure? Also on that note, I started dating a guy a few months ago who was dating other girls & that didn't work for me. I was obsessed with him like you when I first met him (not online, we met at work) but he didn't seem to treat me in the same way (i.e. the attraction wasn't exactly mutual -- I think I liked him more than he liked me...) and I sensed that, and told him I didn't want to date him anymore. So like you, I cannot handle if a guy is interested in too many other girls & not giving me equal attention. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 I didn't have facebook/myspace in my earl 20s (and I am not involved with it now, at 40) but from my perspective, if I were looking for a serious relationship I would either keep my profile private and restrict those who could post or I would not have a profile at all. Link to comment
unmenomore Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 thanks to all. Please keep any more advice coming. I think you are all right and I'm not sure this is something I will be able to deal with. But the thing is, isn't this what all guys do on myspace or in real life? I'm not sure how to deal with the thought of a guy I'm seeing, also dating other women. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 it may help you if you are also seeing other men. you know, you'll feel more relaxed if you have some other dates lined up. Link to comment
unmenomore Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 yes that is the ideal situation. I just dont know were to meet any. Any tips? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 It's easier to date someone casually when his flirting or interactions with other women is not in your face such as on myspace. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 It's easier to date someone casually when his flirting or interactions with other women is not in your face such as on myspace. yeah, seriously! when you don't see evidence of it all around! Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 LOL: From this month's issue of Elle magazine, "Ask E. Jean Carroll": Link to comment
unmenomore Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 HAHA yes you guys are right... the constant reminders are very stressful and I find myself on myspace all day... not healthy! Basically I don't meet many guys, so that's why I obsess over the ones I meet and like. I dont like every guy I meet, but I tend to get really attached to those I do like...How do some women have dates ALL the time? where do they meet these guys? Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 go join some outdoor clubs, join a church youth group, if you are religious, try other FOR PAY web dating sites (typically people are more serious about meeting an S.O. if they are paying a monthly fee). Go talk to that handsome neighbor down the hall, ask your friends if they know any great single guys to hook you up with..... Link to comment
unmenomore Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 yea I know. I've tried some of those things but no luck. I will just keep trying. Thanks for all the advice! Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 well, just keep at it. ultimately, you are just looking for 1 guy, and you never know where you will find him. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Hi, I met a really cute guy on myspace. I really like him or at least am infatuated wtih him. He has like hundreds of female friends on his page. He is single. He told me he is dating and talking to other people. I appreciate his honesty, But this bothers me. I can't deal with the thought of him talking to other girls online. Lately he doesnt call me anymore and I'm pretty sure he's talking to another girl online. I know alot of girls flirt with him because hes really cute and I dont think he is a "player" as he is just talking to girls online and he IS single. But do you think its a red flag that he has so many female friends and flirts with ALL of them? or is this normal, ok behavior? i met a female version of this----move on!!!! Heartache is ahead Link to comment
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