does she like me?? seems like it

[justanotherperson]

First off. I'm friends with this girl named Kayla. We've had an aquaintance since last year and just recently gotten closer over the summer. Well she has a boyfriend right now, but that didn't stop me. So a week and a half ago she was telling me her feelings for me and that i'm the only person who cared about her. She even said she thought her bf didnt care. She told me that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me because she thinks im the right person for her and everyone tells her to date me.

 

Well me and my friends went to the mall last saturday cause we were gonna meet up with her. Her boyfriend was their so that could start something. Kayla went up to me and talked to me while we were waiting outside. We both hugged and talked a lil bit. Then her and her friend had to go buy some stuff so we just let them be.

 

30 minutes later she told me to go look for her so I did. When I saw her, she was with her bf. I said hey to her and she said hey in a whisper voice sorta. Then her bf came up behind her and put his arm around her. for 2 minutes she wouldn't say a word to me so i just walked away. Felt a little insulted too.... About 4 hours later when I went home I texted her and said "why did u ignore me at da mall?" She said "huh?? i talked to u?" and then the argument went on. Her best friend called me ( shes probably one of the worst ppl to get along with ) and said "she doesnt like u that way. ur jealous. she tells me that she doesnt like u"... I told Kayla wat she said.. She told me that it wasn't true. And I believe her too.

 

for the past 4 days, she's acting like she has a good relationship with the guy and with no problems and shes not talkin to me AS much as she used to but she still bugs me that she still wants to be my best friend.

 

I dont get it. She tells me all those feelings she had for me and she's sittin her trying to act like nothing happened. Ok, wat just happened?

[Lily04]

she seems like a flirt. I wouldn't take her seriously and find other girls.

[justanotherperson]

no. shes a very shy type person. she doesnt flirt

[justanotherperson]

i really need some help on this. ty

[Aurian]

This is confusing... she probably acted differently in front of her boyfriend because he was THERE. She must also be with him still for some reason. Afraid to leave? Doesn't want to be alone? Loves him too?

 

Do you reciprocate her feelings, what was your reaction? Maybe she felt like you didn't reciprocate so she's trying to hide her feelings and cling to her bf?

[MushroomGod]

I believe that she's messing with you. Some girls will act like that when they're not getting attention from their current relationship. You are giving her that attention with no strings attached. She loves her BF I hate to say, or at least wants to be with him.

 

In my limited experiance girls will say things and flirt with a guy showing intrest even if they are happy with the relationship they are currently in and have no intention or being with the guy they flirt with.

 

Stop talking to her all together and find another girl.

 

I normally don't have a problem with guys trying "steal" someones GF, but in this case drop the whole thing and stop talking to her.

[heloladies21]

This is common enough where a name has been given to guys in your position. You're called orbiters.

 

Basically she uses you for the ego boost. She gets you fawning over her while enjoying all the benefits of someone having a crush on her while she pays back little in return. Just a bunch of psychological game playing to keep her entertained until she gets bored of you, then she'll drop you. Seen this type of situation play out so many times it's ridiculous.

 

The funny thing is, if she were all about her current man, then she wouldn't be doing this. There is a flaw in their relationship which means that they will eventually break up. So it's basically all his fault because he's not handling the relationship right, otherwise she wouldn't even act like this. But believe me when I tell you that she does not believe that either you or him are the man for her and she would drop both of you for good if she found him.

[justanotherperson]

I don't know. Her and I are best friends. She considers me her bestest friend ever. Over any girl and any guy. I don't think she could ever do something like that to me. Atleast I hope not? I mean.. Everyday her friends tell me that she likes me because she's always talkin bout me in class. That's so confusing. Yeah she doesn't have a good boyfriend either. He smokes weed everyday and he bearly calls her and they both dont see eachother hardly. Plus, he goes to a different school.

[justanotherperson]

I'm still confused about this whole thing. Ok, I guess you all don't know her personally, so ima explain her life. Maybe that will answer your questions.

 

Ok, shes 15 years old. Her dad is a complete drunk and he abuses her from time to time. Her mom sits their and laughs about it. When she's in school she acts like shes happy. 50% of the time she is sad. She's shy. She blames herself for everything that happens. She's VERY emotional. Shes one of the sweetest girls you'd ever meet. Now why would she do all that to me? I mean. I've stuck up for her when her dad would do stuff. One day she was at my house. Her dad didn't know where she was and he literally jerked her arm. Hard enough to jerk it out of place and I told her dad that I would snatch his throat out if he ever touched her again. She wouldn't stop thankin me for a week straight..... After all that.. Why would she use me as an ego boost. U tell me.

[MushroomGod]

I don't know. Her and I are best friends. She considers me her bestest friend ever. Over any girl and any guy. I don't think she could ever do something like that to me. Atleast I hope not? I mean.. Everyday her friends tell me that she likes me because she's always talkin bout me in class. That's so confusing. Yeah she doesn't have a good boyfriend either. He smokes weed everyday and he bearly calls her and they both dont see eachother hardly. Plus, he goes to a different school.

 

I'm still confused about this whole thing. Ok, I guess you all don't know her personally, so ima explain her life. Maybe that will answer your questions.

 

Ok, shes 15 years old. Her dad is a complete drunk and he abuses her from time to time. Her mom sits their and laughs about it. When she's in school she acts like shes happy. 50% of the time she is sad. She's shy. She blames herself for everything that happens. She's VERY emotional. Shes one of the sweetest girls you'd ever meet. Now why would she do all that to me? I mean. I've stuck up for her when her dad would do stuff. One day she was at my house. Her dad didn't know where she was and he literally jerked her arm. Hard enough to jerk it out of place and I told her dad that I would snatch his throat out if he ever touched her again. She wouldn't stop thankin me for a week straight..... After all that.. Why would she use me as an ego boost. U tell me.

 

I want to first point out that there is nothing wrong with a little weed.

 

O man this is worse than I thought. Abusive father, loser BF, best friend who's secretly in love and you're only 15 at that. Kid My first reply still stands. Why would she do that? because it makes her feel good. Sounds like one of the few things that does. Bottom line is your her Best friend not lover. These things don't normally work out even w/o a BF in the picture. It sux, I know, I've been there before around your age.

 

If she liked you she'd break up with her BF to be with you. I would say get away from her asap. She sounds like trouble. It's not worth the Drama. Your young and there are plenty of girls in the world. This one is not worth the trouble. It's going to hard, but slowly shrink your way out of her life.

 

(I may suggest to give her one last shot to be with you. If she still won't then without a fight or ultimatum exit her life. I'd wait to hear what heloladies has to say first.)

[heloladies21]

Why would she use me as an ego boost.

Because her selfesteem is shot and this one of the only ways she knows how to bring it up. She doesn't see it as being anything that wrong, she honestly can't help it either. It's just the way she is made, so no need to blame her. But you are no fool either.

[justanotherperson]

oo i see. how long do u think a relationship like that can last anyways. He does weed, he hardly calls her, he blames everything on her, they bearly hang out. theyve been together for 6 months so far

[Dating Coach]

There are a lot of signs here that say, "Too late. Not interested. Move on."

 

First off. I'm friends with this girl named Kayla. We've had an aquaintance since last year and just recently gotten closer over the summer.

 

You were "friends". You got closer as "friends". Not boyfriend/girlfriend. You didn't kiss, dry hump, have sex, etc. Everything you established this far was simply "platonic friends".

 

Well she has a boyfriend right now, but that didn't stop me.

 

Something stopped you. You didn't do anything all summer until just recently, and even now you haven't really done anything.

 

So a week and a half ago she was telling me her feelings for me and that i'm the only person who cared about her. She even said she thought her bf didnt care. She told me that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me because she thinks im the right person for her and everyone tells her to date me.

 

If I were you I'd avoid ever getting into a conversation like this with a girl. I don't know... in all of my experiences this kind of "talk" never has much truth to it, especially if she already has a man. Besides, what fun is it sitting there discussing this? Girls just wanna have fun, they are attracted to having a good time, flirting, etc. Sitting there talking about stuff that doesn't make sense (she has a man) is a waste of your time and sets you off down the wrong path.

 

30 minutes later she told me to go look for her so I did.

 

Who is she, your mom? You're doing everything to get her attention, going to a mall, looking for her when she tells you, etc. BORING. No challenge, no sense of independence or strength. You should have told her that you had some things to do and that maybe you'd run into her later. Or you could have stood up like a man and told her to ditch the boyfriend and come hang out with a fun guy like you. For me however, I don't play around with girls who are taken. Just telling you some better ways for you to have handled this since you like her.

 

When I saw her, she was with her bf. I said hey to her and she said hey in a whisper voice sorta. Then her bf came up behind her and put his arm around her. for 2 minutes she wouldn't say a word to me so i just walked away.

 

This was a test. She knows you want her, she's got a man, she loves the attention. She tested you and her man. Her man passed because he saw a threat and he did something about it. He closed in on her and put his arm around her. He said nonverbally, "back off" and you did. You stood there feeling silly and awkward and then you retreated. He showed her that he is more of an alpha male.

 

Felt a little insulted too.... About 4 hours later when I went home I texted her and said "why did u ignore me at da mall?"

 

This was the wrong thing to do. You showed her just how much she got to you and you lost control of yourself. You showed weakness and thus failed another test. She's not even your girlfriend and you're already being needy. "Why did you ignore me?" What message do you think this tells her about how you'll be as a boyfriend? Yeesh. Bad move.

 

She said "huh?? i talked to u?" and then the argument went on. Her best friend called me ( shes probably one of the worst ppl to get along with ) and said "she doesnt like u that way. ur jealous. she tells me that she doesnt like u"... I told Kayla wat she said.. She told me that it wasn't true. And I believe her too.

 

So do I. If there ever was a chance you blew it by waiting too long, being too hesistant, going after a girl who's taken, backing down in front of challenges, and being needy and whiney about getting attention.

 

f

or the past 4 days, she's acting like she has a good relationship with the guy and with no problems and shes not talkin to me AS much as she used to but she still bugs me that she still wants to be my best friend.

 

She likes the free attention but it's clear she's not giving any special attention back. In short, you're being used.

 

The best thing for you at this point is act like nothing went wrong, but slowly distance yourself from her and move on. She will likely try to lure you back in by being flirty but it doesn't mean things changed, she's just trying to get you to reaffirm how much you like her again. It's best to play it cool and find another single girl, only this time move faster and more confidently.

[justanotherperson]

ok i investigated a little on their relationship. i got her bfs friend to ask him if hes loosing intrest in kayla. he said yeah but hes afraid to tell her. i feel relieved because i knew i was right. i thought about tellin her but ya know, i doubt shed believe me.

[MushroomGod]

ok i investigated a little on their relationship. i got her bfs friend to ask him if hes loosing intrest in kayla. he said yeah but hes afraid to tell her. i feel relieved because i knew i was right. i thought about tellin her but ya know, i doubt shed believe me.

 

Dude did you read diggitydog's post or any of them for that matter?

 

Are you in high school?

 

You are so young man, if I knew the things I did now about this stuff in high school it would have been alot different. Seriously dig up the other posts by DD and HL21 on this subject.

 

I have felt the exact same way as you do and did the kinds of things you are doing with absolutely no success.

 

Why did you ask her BF's friend about him? You don't think that's going to get back to her? He might even stay with her just to prove he's better than you, for fun.

 

Look, read DD's thread linked on his sig. PM me for some other stuff can send you help you get the girls you want in the future.

 

Drop this girl, don't listen to her or even answer her calls. Try to avoid her at school and be distant but pleasant when you run into her. All of your actions are even making you lose opportunities with other girls with much less drama going on in their lives at your school because she will tell them about how you are acting.

 

Your behaviors are very, very unattractive.

 

Nothing you do will help your chances. Take our advice!!!!

 

If you do you'll be so much more successful with girls in the future. I really wish I knew the things DD and HL have taught me when I was younger. I wasted most of my teenage years doing the things you are and having little success.

[justanotherperson]

I don't understand why you keep telling me to "drop this girl". Is it bad enoughto be friends with her or something? Yeah i'm in highschool. I can understand that it seems a little imature by the way i'm acting and that it can "unattractive".

[heloladies21]

Is it bad enoughto be friends with her or something?

It's bad for you. So many guys have been in your exact same situation, trying to be friends as some kind of sham method of getting a girl to be your gf even though she shows you otherwise that she's not for real. It keeps you distracted from finding someone else, frustrated that you can't get her, and confused at trying to interpret her actions. Basically it turns out to be a waste of time and energy and results in a broken heart when you realize what's really going on.

 

But sometimes the only way to learn from the mistake is to actually make it yourself. You've got plenty of time, do what you gotta do to make sure.

[Dating Coach]

I don't understand why you keep telling me to "drop this girl". Is it bad enoughto be friends with her or something? Yeah i'm in highschool. I can understand that it seems a little imature by the way i'm acting and that it can "unattractive".

 

Heloladies said it clearly for you.

 

Look man, you do what you want. You want the right advice? Then pay attention to what has been said. She's NOT interested in you. She KNOWS you want her, but look who she's with? Not you. It doesn't matter if this other guy is all that into her or not. Why? Because she's not into YOU. She knows you like her and has even talked trash about you behind your back about how she doesn't want you and she's tired of you trying. At what point do you realize that you're image is being drug through the dirt because you are continuously ramming your head into a wall. All the actions she's made are NOT the actions of someone who wants you.

 

Trying your hardest to be her best pal isn't going to work either. She knows you like her and every little "friend" thing you do she knows why you do it even if you say otherwise.

 

As the poster above said, read the first two links in my sig. You really need to read that and save yourself. Good luck brother.

[justanotherperson]

I'm not denying ur advice. This is the first time something like this has ever happened to me. I mean, even before she knew I liked her, she went and told everyone she liked me. That's why its hard to believe that she's messin with me, because before I even thought bout being with her, she told all her friends and everyone else that she wanted to date me. Idk, It's just weird. Do u Think I should confront her about this? Ya know, tell her that I don't deserve to be used as an ego boost?

[Dating Coach]

I'm not denying ur advice. This is the first time something like this has ever happened to me. I mean, even before she knew I liked her, she went and told everyone she liked me. That's why its hard to believe that she's messin with me, because before I even thought bout being with her, she told all her friends and everyone else that she wanted to date me. Idk, It's just weird. Do u Think I should confront her about this? Ya know, tell her that I don't deserve to be used as an ego boost?

 

Maybe she was interested at one point, but her interested isn't like your interested. You are still interested in her beyond all of the silliness that has happened, but apparently for her she is a lot more easily turned off than you are, and that's normal. She's clearly not interested now. Actions speak louder than words. The real question is, what are you going to do now? My advice would be to move on and treat her like nothing more than an aquaintence. Do not be rude, but she shouldn't get special treatment.

[MushroomGod]

Maybe she was interested at one point, but her interested isn't like your interested. You are still interested in her beyond all of the silliness that has happened, but apparently for her she is a lot more easily turned off than you are, and that's normal. She's clearly not interested now. Actions speak louder than words. The real question is, what are you going to do now? My advice would be to move on and treat her like nothing more than an aquaintence. Do not be rude, but she shouldn't get special treatment.

 

In other words no don't confront her on this. I didn't mean to come off as insulting I'm just trying to help my man. I went through this exact same thing when I was your age not that long ago.

 

What I should have said is your behavior towards her is seen as "unattractive" by girls. Confronting her would only show how much this really bothers you and boost her ego even more.

 

Learn this stuff now while you can, read DD's sig. threads from start to finish. If you want more info on girls and ways to improve yourself so you'll be able to choose who you want to be with not wondering if they'll choose you PM me and I'll provide. What's a better subject to study than how to attract girls?

 

Learn this stuff now while you are still developing who you are as a person. You'll be far ahead of all the other guys in your school that they will even notice and envy your skills.

 

I'm starting to think that boys' fathers really need to talk to their sons about how to attract a girl. I've decided that if I ever have a son when the "Birds and the Bees" are ready to be talked about I'll also talk about attraction and what not to do if you like a girl.

 

Kid for your owe sake take our advice, by the time the next cute, sweet girl smiles at you you'll be able to do things right and have an equal relationship.

 

(and just because her BF smokes pot doesn't make him a bad person IMO, seriously when you get older you'll find out that some of those things the Gov't tells you about it is complete BS.)

 

Always keep and open mind about life and relationships and look at things from all angles, experiance is the truest form of info, be glad you came to this hurdle and had guys like this to help you. I honestly wish I was your age and had access to this info, I'd of had lots more fun and less pain that's for sure.

 

When I first came to this site it was about something else but similar to this. I came here thinking I'd hear exactly what I wanted to hear that would make it all better. I didn't hear what I wanted to hear but I received the best advice I could ask for.

 

We're not going to tell you what you want to hear, we're going to give you the advice you need to better your situation.

[heloladies21]

Do u Think I should confront her about this? Ya know, tell her that I don't deserve to be used as an ego boost?

It won't solve anything.

[justanotherperson]

Hey do any of you have msn? Cause instant messaging will make this all easier. If you do then message me ..

[MushroomGod]

Hey do any of you have msn? Cause instant messaging will make this all easier. If you do then message me .. email removed

 

I don't I have AIM. just PM me and let me know what's up. Before I help you I really want you to resolve this current issue. Let me know on this thread what you thought of DD's sig. threads. They are perfect for your situation.

 

Did you drop her yet? What's been going on w/ her and you? (I hope nothing)

Keep me updated so we can put this behind you.

[justanotherperson]

Well I don't know. I havent talked to her much since Sunday. Part of me wants to drop her, and part of me doesn't. I've been trying to think of ways to get around this issue without haveing to loose her as a good friend. Sounds a bit rude if I just say "hey cant be friends cause im your ego boost". Sounds like there is something wrong with that. Maybe she did it on accident? Hell, maybe she didn't even know she was doing that. I can admit.. I did it a few times and I never relized it. I never meant harm to the situation. I just needed a bit of re assurance.

 

I know theirs more ways than just dropping her. Maybe just forgetting that this ever happened and act like her friend until something happens between her and her boyfriend?

 

Also, i'm pretty sure she likes me. And she may be afraid to leave her current bf. Because when I was with my ex for a year and 3 months, I had a crush on her and I wanted to leave her, but its hard to leave a 15 month relationship that i've worked hard on for something else. Never know, she could be thinkin the same thing?

 

And she would always tell people she liked me. a month before she had a bf. And I ask why she never said anything to me. She said she didn't know how I would react.

 

 

So me knowin that I have a chance with her if her and her bf break up.. I mine as well forget that anything ever happened and just acting like a friend to her. =]