2 weeks NC,she calls and wants to see me

[Q-ball]

Hey everybody, I was a dating this girl for about 3 years, I broke up with her at the beginning of last summer because I wanted to get a taste of the single life (since I had spent most my university years with her). I realized quickly that I missed her a lot. We kept in real close touch, even slept together one night, throughout the summer. When fall came, I was ready to get her back. I tried my best, I thought I had her, We started doing all the things a couple would do except whenever I asked her about what we were doing she said that she really couldn't have a boyfriend right now.

 

We kept this weird relationship going (she goes to a different university, long-distance relationship in the chool year) where she was calling, talking for hours with me, spending every second together (day & night, when she would come home) got eachother birthday/christmas gifts. Just about three weeks ago, she invited me to go stay with her for the weekend where she goes to school.

 

I went, we had a good time, she even had me stay an extra day, because she didn't want me to leave. The morning of this extra day, we started fooling around and she broke down crying midway and told me that she doesn't feel like she can be romantic with me anymore. She told me that she loves me so much, but she just doesn't feel the spark or passion she used to. She said she couldn't imagine me not being in her life, and that she didn't know if this is something that just happens or if it means we shouldn't be together.

 

After a week of emails and phone calls, she decided that we should end it but she kept saying things like maybe this will resolve things, she just can't have a relationship now. I made it very clear to her that if I'm to move on that it is a permanent thing, because I really do love her and it is really hard to force myself not to look back.

 

She came home last weekend, from school, after two weeks NC, and called me and asked how I was. She said something about how she didn't really know how to be friends with me yet, so we shouldn't go get coffee or anything like that. I told her that I didn't want to see her anyway, half jokingly. We talked for a little bit, she told me where she was going to be later that night and said maybe I'll see you out.

 

I didn't go to the bar she was at that night. I woke up sunday morning with her calling me wondering where I was last night because she saw some of my friends. She said in kind of a sulking voice that she kinda wanted to see me before she left, which was in less than two hours. Me having a case of the Sunday's and just waking up and all, told her that she could stop by my place. She came over for coffee, we just talked on the couch, and then I gave her a hug goodbye, a little squeeze of the bum ( i told her when we broke up that even if she has a boyfriend I'm still gonna grab her * * * every time I see her), she told me she would be home in 2 weeks again and said "maybe I'll see you then?".

 

What the * * * *?

[confused25]

I was in some what of a similar situation as you. My ex broke up with me out of the blue back in Nov. and we kepted limited contact until new years when he asked if we can get back together. I was scared that he's going to hurt me again so I told him that I can't trust him. Although we never "officially" got back together, we still hung out and did the same exact things that we did before. After about a month I decided that I'm ready to get back with him and I had a talk with him. This time, HE was the hesitant one. He told me that he had gotten too "comfortable" with our current status that he'd rather just stay the way we were. That to me, meant that he wanted to have the benefits of being in a relationship, but without the responsibility. And he even admitted to me that he was not sure if he's ready to commit to me 100%. So that was the breaking point for me and I had to end things in order to look out for myself. I can't be with someone who can't decide on whether or not they want to be with me, I don't have time for that. Maybe you'll have better luck than me. But I would advice you to just give her time, let her try to figure things out while you still keep on the lookout for other potentials.

[Zaphod]

I can't be with someone who can't decide on whether or not they want to be with me.

 

A sentence we should all remember

[Q-ball]

Thanks you two, I didn't weaken because of this, I'm still trying to move on. I'm trying not to let myself think that this is a sign from her, but I know her too well and I know that it was a sign that she misses me. The hard part is if she just missed me at that time (had a weak moment) or if she truly misses me.

 

It's getting hard for me to picture us working out. She is so sweet, unbelievable cute and kindhearted, but my most recent memories of her are not very comforting. My memories of her are all filled with worry and doubt. I can't blame her for this, I was the one who initially disrupted our trust for eachother.

 

What do I do when she comes home next weekend? I have a feeling she's going to want to spend more time with me. I just want to kiss her everytime I see her, but I don't even think I would get back together with her. I really want a girl who loves & lusts for me. I just wish it could be her. I would doubt her motive to get back together with me. I think she would do it because she feels lonely and needs someone, but I would always be thinking "she doesn't love me fully and completely"