The Right Thing

[Phairy]

Here's my story.

 

Im a divorcee for about a year. After my divorce, me and several other partners decide to start a business together. One of my partners, also a divorcee was in relationship with his girlfriend. His relationship with his gf was very rocky and theyre always fighting.

 

I was never close to this partner but late last year, his gf went for a vacation overseas with her family. And he started hanging out in the office more often. Our relationship was basically platonic and we used to do a lot of things together without any physical contact. We normally hang with each other. We started out as friends and very good friends. I dont believe men and woman can be friends but we bared a lot of things to each other.

 

One day, things got very intimate and we revealed to each other that we liked each other. Because we were friends, it was easier. We beging to spend more time with each other.. I assumed that his gf and him were breaking up.

And he knows my position about two timing people...

 

And suddenly, after she returned from her vacation, she reveals to him that she's pregnant for a few months. And suddenly, things went topsy turvy.

Of course, i had to let go. I was devastated and i had fallen in love with him.

They aborted even though the baby had a heartbeat and ect.

 

After the abortion, he told me that he had to go back to her because he felt bad about her. But he still hang out with me and many times intimate.

 

3 weeks after the abortion, more painful things were happening for me to witness. Additionally the GF is a daughter of some powerful politician and one of her father's friend ( another politician) wanted to grant our company a half a million project.

 

Even though it was good for our company, since our company is very small, he decided to bring in the project into our company. Of course teh money was good, but the project was from her.

 

I confronted him and said it was really wreckless of him to rub more salt on my wound. For the company's sake, i told him we had to stop seeing each other because i really had to regain my self confidence again and just heal. I may sound so undevastated but im very very devastated... So i asked him to not see him for 2 weeks as i reckon that's enough to allow me to cure myself of him..

 

All he said, was he was sorry. And now all of the sudden, the GF started hanging out at the office.

 

And guess what.. They won the project.

 

Im so heartbroken. The company is my life and he just had to stomp on my heart by bring her in..

 

Worst, i cant tell my other partners about my short term affair with this guy.. So, im withdrawing myself from activities.

 

Honestly, i dont think i can work with him anymore. But i have to.. Im so angry at myself for letting myself fall into his trap.. Eventhough he says, he never meant to play me, if he never intended to break up with his GF, why the hell did he start of with me in teh first place.

 

This is the worst punishment that can happen to me...

 

I dont know what to do. I didnt go to the office for 3 days. I dont know how to face this... And im all talked out.

 

What should i do?

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

you hold your head high because YOU did nothing wrong... you worked just as hard at that business as he did ...and why should he take that away from you? Along with all the pain he is causing you because of his reckless actions when it came to your heart.

 

You will get through this... you hold your head high and do not let his immature and selfish actions take anything else away from you.

 

He was wrong in this situation not you.

 

My heart goes out to you.

[finewhine]

While he stinks for being less-than honest with you, please acknowledge your responsibility in the situation. You chose to sleep with a business partner. This could have turned sour in so many other ways. Lesson learned - don't ever become involved with a coworker again!

 

Also, you never were certain that he and his girlfriend had broken up. You just assumed.

 

Now, if he had been a better person, he wouldn't have lied to you by omission. But he did, and here you are.

 

What can you do? Just realize that this guy isn't worthy of your love and try to move on as best you can. Maybe see a counselor to help you deal with the situation. Whatever you do, don't let it affect your work. You worked hard to get where you are and you need to keep what you have earned.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

well he sure is a guy skank, isn't he? it sounds like he was feeling sporty because his girlfriend was out of town and so took up with you under false pretenses... i had a guy do this once, who told me he was 'separated' from his wife and his wife had moved out so we dated for a month, only to find out that his wife had no clue they were separated, had not really moved out, and was just on a month long vacation with her mother! as soon as she was back in town, he was 'married' again... and obviously a jerk and liar too!

 

so PLEASE don't let HIS bad behavior make you want to hide... you have nothing to be ashamed of and HE is the one who should be ashamed of himself, but obviously isn't... and obviously is a jerk and used you for sex, and is now using his girlfriend for money and social connections.

 

if you are a partner in this business, is there any way you can get the other partners to buy you out, or sell your interest to someone else? my concern would be that if he is so dishonest in his personal relationships, he probably has no business ethics either and you don't want your life and business to be tied up with him.

 

but don't let him drive you out until YOU have something better for yourself to go from a business perspective. right now you are hurt, but please allow yourself to feel what you should be feeling, which is angry... you should be able to tolerate it better if you don't continue to see him as someone you 'lost', when you should be thinking good riddance, and try to work towards either ignoring him totally other than when necessary, or finding a way to get bought out of the business and start another one with someone you can trust more than this guy.

[Phairy]

While he stinks for being less-than honest with you, please acknowledge your responsibility in the situation. You chose to sleep with a business partner. This could have turned sour in so many other ways. Lesson learned - don't ever become involved with a coworker again!

 

Also, you never were certain that he and his girlfriend had broken up. You just assumed.

 

Now, if he had been a better person, he wouldn't have lied to you by omission. But he did, and here you are.

 

What can you do? Just realize that this guy isn't worthy of your love and try to move on as best you can. Maybe see a counselor to help you deal with the situation. Whatever you do, don't let it affect your work. You worked hard to get where you are and you need to keep what you have earned.

 

Im not going to defend myself. i guess it was ethically wrong for me to turn to my own partner but i honestly thot he was serious about me because i didnt think he would hurt me considering our business. I had several takes before i actually kissed him. Since he was my friend and a business partner, i didnt think he would jeopardize it because of a fling... Most importantly, he was a friend...

 

But i was sorely mistaken...