I have no friends.....

[maddy]

I'm in high school. Suppositivly this is suppose to be the "peak" of my exsistance. The "best" times of my life i'm suppose to be experiencing right now It's a sick thought knowing things are only going to go downhill from here. I don't know.

 

I have absolutly NO friends. In school or outside of school. I have no brothers or sisters (or cousins). I'm alone at home and I'm alone at school. I am about to be 17!! I never go anywhere on the weekends. I am consistantly ignored for no apparent reason. I have never even had a best friend my entire life!! I am so lonley. I can't handle not having anyone to talk to. As for boyfriend (s) Never had one of those either!! They won't talk to me. I don't know what to do. I am by myself ALL the time....(literally) Does/has anyone else ever had this problem?? or felt like just ending it all??? I've already missed out anyways.

[SarCareBear]

my advice.. reach out to someone who looks a little lonely.. you deserve to have friends, my guess is that you are extremely shy and introverted

[lauralied]

Hey Maddy,

 

Life only gets better after high school, I know that much.

 

I promise you that you will find people with whom you relate. High school can be soooo harsh, and it is in NO WAY a good representation of how the rest of your life will go. Not At All!

 

Why would you say you've had a hard time meeting friends? Do you have a hard time talking to people, shyness, etc.? I think you will be something great someday soon, and all of the hoopla surrounding high school life and your supposed "best years" is just B.S. I'm sorry, because it sucks to feel as if you have no one to relate to. Just know life will get better. Get involved in something outside of school, whether for you that means a club, an organization, volunteering, a church group, etc. Find something to spend time doing, and I guarantee you will find nice, neat people who would love to make you their friend! Keep in touch.

 

laura

[Gaeltick]

Hi Maddy,

 

I hated High School, if that was the Highlight of my existence I would have died along time ago. Actually, I feel sorry for anyone who sees High School as the Glory Days. I had friends in my High School, but I had outside interests besides High School. I was in a theatre troupe, and I worked.

 

High School can be awful, but it is over relatively quick even if it doesn't seem like it when you are there every day. Could it be your a loner by nature, and just feel you need to conform to your peers. If not, and you are really lonely, I would suggest finding an outside interest. Volunteering at a radio station, or hospital, taking Saturday classes at a College for fun, or anything that might interest you.

 

There is nothing wrong with hanging out with the parents to go to a movie, play cards, or walk around the mall. Everyone has to hang out with the family once in awhile. Then your weekends won't be so boring.

 

I telll my own son, who is in High School that it is only a phase.

 

 

[JadeMonkey]

everyone I know from high school will describe it as hell on earth (and it was)

 

no one was happy

 

everyone felt alone

 

( the girl I had a crush on back then who appeared to be a gooddess, is now my best girl -- friend and I now know she had just as many problems as me and hated high school as much if not more then me. Even though she appeared flawless to me back then)

 

I was very lonely in high school, when guys made fun of me (always in front of girls they liked .... to make themselves appear stronger or whatever) it made my self image go down the toilet. I am extremely shy, and its no picnic.

 

Just let me say that College is a ton better than high school. On a bigger campus you aren't forced into a little box with the same people everyday and people (for the most part) are a little more mature.

[Gunther]

boy I hear that one, I have almost the same situation. I only have one cousin {thank god!} and one other friend, still isnt a lot and most of the time I dont get to see em' during school. If you do figure out what to do tell me LoL

[oinmd]

High School is definitely not the best years of your life. I feel sorry for anyone who truly believes that. When you get to college you will realize that High School isn't everything. I came out of my shell when I got to college and had the time of my life. Even though it got a little stressful sometimes, college was the best 4 years of my life (so far), but friends will come with time. Friendships take work, you won't make any friends by just sitting at home by yourself.

I recommend finding something that you have an interest in or have as a hobby. Try joining a club or something with people with your same interest. You have to realize that people that don't make an effort to be friends with you aren't worth having as friends. If you are shy then people may just think that you are snobby or that you aren't interested in them. As far as guys are concerned, you usually meet someone special when you aren't even looking. My last two relationships occurred that way. Hang in there and make sure you keep your grades up and get into a good college. If you can, try to live on campus at college. You will meet people from all over the world and have a great time, but you have to make sure that you work at making relationships too, they aren't just going to fall in your lap most of the time. Good luck.

[maddy]

Thanks guys for all your replies. I really mean it. I am shy/introverted but not to the extremes. I just don't understand. I had really overprotective parents (to this day) they would never let me out at all. I was never allowed to go to birthdays...(not that i was ever invited) play sports, go to other kids houses, etc. I never got a chance to really interact with people early on...I am only assuming that might be one (of a gazillion) factors. People just never seem to be interested in me. I can't build realationships. No clue how to do that. I never get invited to anything. I always feel left out. Something thats always a huge blow.

I cry all the time. My parents are no help. My mom's response: You don't need friends.

[JadeMonkey]

hmm do either of you get electives?

 

in high school and college i find that the easiest way to make friends is people who are in your same classes out of interest (i.e. they signed up for the course because they wanted to be there, not because the board of ed. made them)

 

me for instance, in high school I used my electives to take some nerdy classes. Visual Basic and Basic Programming, I made friends there a lot easier than in say ... Spanish. Because everyone wanted to be there and everyone had a common ground which in that case was computers and video games.

 

I couldn't wait to get to that class and Gym class (was a good goalie so I got picked first for like the first time in any sport).

 

Freshman year sucked, sat by myself at lunch etc...

Sophmore year had a few friends from homeroom and other classes with a lot of free time.

Junior year was pretty good because this is when I get to take the Basic course mentioned above. became more confident and things started toget exponentially better from here on.

Senior year actually like it even though I didn't go to prom (and it doesn't really bother me so dont feel like you have to show up!, it only hurts for maybe a week if that)

 

College is a ton more fun because as explaiend above, everyone in your major's courses wants to be there and has a common ground to talk about.

 

All it really takes is a friend with other friends, get to be friends with their friends and so on. Pretty soon you become part of that groups social structure, pretty soon its 'hey why not ask joey joe joe if he wants to come along to the movies ?'

 

Just some ideas and past experience ...

[SarCareBear]

if your mom says you dont need friends.. then, and dont take offense, you need to go to some kind of parent/child therapy immediately.. it is only healthy to have at least one or two friends, and she needs to realize this (doesn't she have friends?? ) just a suggestion for you and your mom's well being...

[swift44]

all i can say is try your hardest to cmmunicate with the people just try to talk to them and become comfortable with them and let them be comfortable with you

[Cid]

HS is only part of your life I have to say right after HS is the best time of your live. I say take risks and meet people. Hsve fun your young and live life to the fullest.

[lonelyd00d]

Hi Maddy,

 

I didn't read the whole thread, but I've seen some replies of others. They are right. High school are NOT the best years of your life.

 

When I read your post, I could immediately identify. Even tho, I did have some friends in school, I never managed to make any (but one) of those 'friendships' (which was mainly the 'loser-corner', I suppose) work. To this day, I struggle with making friends. I partially blame it on my parents (mum) too.. "You don't need a girlfriend, only distracts from school" =P Yeah, well.. -Thanks- mom..

 

Can I ask you something? Do your parents have friends?? My brother pointed out to me that our parents don't have many friends at all.. They know a lot of people 'cos of work.. and occasionaly, they have an acquantance over.. but that's it! The worst part is, I don't want to end up like them (or worse, stay single the rest of my life >_

 

I do have quite some friends online, but that just isn't the same as really having friends over.

 

Anyway, I know what you're going through (or sorta, at least), and trust me, it WILL get better. But you have to work on it too! And that's the hardest part.. It took me a long time to get a bit more 'social'. And yes, in the past, I've felt like ending it all too.. But that's the worst solution you can think of..

 

Oh well.. I can go on like this for a while.. but I won't. If you ever wanna talk about it, feel free to contact me anytime =)

 

Best of luck!

[The_Loner_Warrior]

Hi I know exactly how you feel My life is like that im in highschool when I am at school Im alone, even when I go home at alone. With me personally I am used to being alone that it just doesn't bother anymore if you want to the cylce sign up for club at your school,work out or just find a hobbie that you see someone doing that you find interesting and ask the m about it. I hope this helps you out 8)

[deeds]

Hi Maddy,

 

I find it difficult to make friends too, but I think most people dont have that many true friends. They have dozens of aquaintances but when the chips are down? Try not to measure yourself by other peoples percieved success, it just ain't so. Perhaps if you were more comfortable with yourself and not so critical of yourself. You have true friends, you just dont know who they all are yet.

 

deeds.

[David Butler pseudonym]

Hi everyone

 

The reason I don't have many friends as I would like, are as follows

 

I had only 1 friend at school, but most people were racist. I was generally upset and could hardly raise a smile. My education was destroyed due to this.

 

My communication and social skills are very poor. Didn't have anyone to mix with. I was the only ethnic child in my classroom. Can you imagine the hurt, the hate and the amount of racism I suffered in my 12 years of schooling?

 

Acquaintances were made in my local Hindu centre, but as we got older, we drifted away - we are just strangers today.

 

Not to say, I have also suffered a knock-on effect. I wouldn't go to work outings or mix with anyone at work, due to the age gap, and their courting/marital status was another reason for the segregation and large division. I do have 4 friends at work, but 2 of them are single and unnattached like me. One of them is divorced.

 

In general, I have calculated 8 friends in the last 24 years of my 32 years of life.

 

I could ramble on about this for a while, but I have had my say now. Should you want to discuss it, do feel free to contact me at anytime.

[swift44]

man, if people are racist in ur scholl they aint worth being friends with, i suggest trying to start conversations and make lans with yur old friends from your block, also try to be more assertive and talkative in your school or join after school activities that will help you meet people.

good luck and i wish you the best

[cakes]

Hey Maddy,

 

From the sounds of what I've read, you sound like a great person to know! It's so hard for me to understand why you wouldn't have one friend..Well, you now what Maddy! I would absolutely LOVE to be your friend! Message me sometime!! Promise?

 

I've been through highschool not too long ago, and its deifnitely not all perked up to be what it is. I know you've herad that your highshcool yeras should be the prime time of all times!! But then haven't you also heard that college years are the best years of your life!! There is a whole world outside of highschool. Believe me...!

 

With boys, ..boys boys boys...Boys are great! But on the other hand, if we don't have a guy in our arms to hold on to, we can also live wihtout them!

 

Well, anywyas Maddy, I dont want ot keep you reading this all day..So message me if you'd like kay!

 

Just if you wanted to know..I'm Natalie, i'm 19 and from canada!

Nice, eh? haha i'm just kdding you with the "eh" there..

 

Anyways, hit me up!

[Ingrid]

I can understand very well what you are going through. I can make friends very easily, but my mom makes me feel guilty every time. She really makes me loose all my friends.

 

I used to think she was overprotective, but she is over possessive. There is a difference. When your parents prevent you from having friends, they are stealing a part of yourself. They are trespassing over your rights.

 

You must put a stop to the situation asap. Since you still live with your parents, it seems that therapy would be the best solution. Even if your mom does not want to go, go by yourself and free yourself from this slavery.

 

Take care and keep us posted !