I'm sorry, but I don't think I can take it anymore...

[Stinkweed]

Where do I even begin? Ok, these last couple of weeks, I dunno if anybody's ever felt this way, but it's felt like everyone wants to pick on me. It's like they wanna start something. I dunno. First this guy who I don't even know who was handing out flyers, there looking like a really *beep* beachboy wannabe, and said something that i consider was insulting. I did nothing, because maybe it wasn't supposed to be insulting (like to a regular person), I just didn't take any of the flyers. I just "turned the other cheek." But I just never ends! I've seen people, I'm almost sure, were making fun of me and talking about me. But why? I don't even know these bastards!

 

I don't understand, I always just mind my own business. I mean, I never bother anyone, I pretty much don't talk to anyone, I don't see a possible reason why I'd attract such bad attention, especially since I can't even get the good attention from people who're good. I'm really sick, and trying not to cuss in here... But God, why do I always have to get *beep* in the *beep*? I don't understand! What did I do to these people. I'd understand if they were "friends" taking advantage of me, then I'd just send them to hell. But random people? Why? Everybody wants to pick on me, everybody wants to fight me. I'm not just being paranoid, not 100%, at least, and that's for sure. I can pm more details on a couple of other things that have happened, and you be the judge on whether I deserve to go to the loonie bin or something. But I mean, I just don't understand... This didn't happen to me in high school (not in the last 2 years, at least, which is when I made the most friends after moving to a different school), which is supposed to be when it DOES happen, not in college! I mean, I'm usually a peaceful guy. I'm not the best at using words... But for the rest, I take care of my body, I don't mind anybody's business but my own, I'm not greedy, I love my family, and for all I care I could just as well become a monk or something. In fact, that'd be better, cause I'd be away from society... But out here, man, I just can't take it anymore... It can't happen AGAIN!!!

 

I'm not a violent person, but I just wish that one day I could snap like those guys who shoot at people, so I can end it all, and end them all finally... It's bound to happen. I mean, I'm no professional at this, but I guess I'm no different from those guys in the end. I don't know how to learn to manage my anger differently... And I'm afraid it's what's going to happen if I don't learn... Either that, or I'll just move away from anywhere near people (at least people full of *beep* who can't respect the others around them). Please help me... I just feel like hitting something right now, because it's so unfair! I've never done anything like this to anyone, even when I was the one with friends and had the chance to pick on others... I NEVER EVER did it! I hate this school because of this, because I can't fix this anymore... I can't change myself, and I don't want to. I just wanna be respected, just as much as I respect those... theM! I'm afraid that wherever I move, if I did move, it'd be the same...

[Dracia]

Eh. Some people just have nothing better to do than make fun of people. I was at the doctors today and this deaf guy came in saying he was here for a hearing check-up, and of course, he said it a bit loud. Then these middle-aged women, who looked reasonably well-mannered started immitating him!

 

People who make fun of other people, especially strangers, are losers. It's not your fault they must pick on others to make themselves feel good.

[Beec]

I can't change myself, and I don't want to. I just wanna be respected, just as much as I respect those... theM! I'm afraid that wherever I move, if I did move, it'd be the same...

 

First, you can change yourself, and you should at times, but only if you want to. Never think you cannot improve. We all can and should.

 

Second, the second sentence I quoted may be key. You want to be respected. We all do, but the way you wrote about it it makes me think one of two things may be going on, and mostly only the former. Are you seeking the approval and respect of others? When I truly stopped caring what others thought about me, I quickly found that more and more people liked me, and I didn't know why but it worked. Do you care too much about what 'they' think? Also, I think a lot of fights between guys occur, or even any type of incident occurs, because we are often on the look out for being disrespected. Anything that can be a slight can make us feel like challenging it. It's really not healthy, but we have all done it.

 

You can pm me anytime, if you want.

[Dateagain]

You said you don't know how to learn to control your anger. It is a tough thing! If I were you I would seek counseling for this anger. You are pretty young and learning how to deal with it constructively would be a good step for your future. You can't stop the feelings, but you can learn to redirect.

[Stinkweed]

Then these middle-aged women, who looked reasonably well-mannered started immitating him!

 

That's the thing! If I were in high school, I wouldn't have cared, because well, I'd been just a kid back then... It would've been expected. But now? I'm too old to do so many things, but it seems we are never too old to be "losers" (I put quotes around it because I know that's how I'm seen by those *beep*heads, but it's not really how I feel about myself).

 

First, you can change yourself, and you should at times, but only if you want to. Never think you cannot improve. We all can and should.

 

Why should I change, if I was so happy before these... incidents... started? I don't think I brought this unto myself...

 

Are you seeking the approval and respect of others? When I truly stopped caring what others thought about me, I quickly found that more and more people liked me, and I didn't know why but it worked. Do you care too much about what 'they' think? Also, I think a lot of fights between guys occur, or even any type of incident occurs, because we are often on the look out for being disrespected. Anything that can be a slight can make us feel like challenging it. It's really not healthy, but we have all done it.

 

I'm not seeking approval by anyone... If I were, I'd be constantly trying to please them all, and talking to them kissing butt and all that stuff. I don't do that.. What I seek is just peace. It's all I want! To walk down the street without people staring at me, and tryin to be smart*beep*, etc. I don't wanna fight, because I just want peace for me. Is fighting the only way, then? Because I just know that I can't keep "turning the other cheek." Ugh, I'm sick of that too...

 

If I were you I would seek counseling for this anger. You are pretty young and learning how to deal with it constructively would be a good step for your future. You can't stop the feelings, but you can learn to redirect.

 

I know counseling would be an option, but knowing myself, I'll never do it... Especially if they'll want to prescribe drugs or something. no way!

[sti_2004]

whats up man. i know EXACTLY how u feel..im 24 now and even at work whn ur trying not to attract attention someone has start in on you then evrytime u see them they cause hell just for giggles...

 

im not from the USA but i have noticed that people here grow up slower than where im from. its way more complicated than that last sentance, i mean i wish i could stay at home and not deal with people cause in one way or another i will find myself * * * *ed over..

 

there's no paranoid thinking involved. there are are incredibly crazy amount of people in this world full of evil..

 

i myself am really passive. i seem to take * * * * from all kinds of people from all walks of life, young or old, any race, gender.. ive only met a few people from thousands that are worthy to trust...even my wife screwed me over..

 

(that explains why i drink and smoke weed.)

 

what i hate is the fact that i have to fight these people and stick up for myself which i dont want to do. i dont like being aggresive and dont have to be. but this fuct up world we live in is making me..

 

i pray alot.. hoping that this a test from god and i i get through it i will live happily ever after... then after a few months of hell (on top of all of lifes real stesses, divorce, death, loss of jobs or no money) you start to think -no god that loves me would ever put a person through this..

 

sorry bout this long * * * reply dude... but i was the "new guy" at work a few months ago, i caught aloot of * * * * from everyone including bosses.

 

Man most these dudes are nuts... alot of mental problems.. dont let these fools break u. seriously. chill people like urself are extremly hard to find. the world would die if it were all full of mofo'f.

 

* * * * i better end this. BACK URSELF! coz no-one else will, u dont have to go crazy.

 

oh yea dont dwell on stuff so much. dont have to be so giving to be a great person either besides you'd just watching ur own back right.