Stay away from Boyfriended Girls or No?

[RedPenguin]

I was just wondering. I have interest in this one girl in my class. Now she already knows that I find her attractive and already I believe knows I have an interest in her. Now I just found out she has a boyfriend. Now my question is, is it a stupid id, to still talk to her and hang around her showing interest, or is it just way better to just stay away?

 

I was going to start to talk to her because it seemed like possibly I was getting somewhere, because she does some of the most interesting things. Even though she has a boyfriend already (I didn't know it at the time) she will often, constantly look at me, I mean like she is just frozen. Even if I look at her, she will not look away. Often she will mimic me during this. I also had this from another girl, I only see every now and then. I was in our student lounge, and this girl on the couch, who is attractive, when I was on the computer, just kept watching me constantly, like the other girl, even when I looked right at her, she just kept looking. Then she would look away. Then it was all over again.

 

I know that sounds a little picky but I am just not used to it, I thought normally they say it's rude if you stare and that normally a girl will look away if you look at her or just look away after a while to not stare.

 

I always heard to stay away but then some say don't worry about it. What's usually the good idea on this subject?

[Hope75]

It depends on what your intentions are.

 

If youwant to be friends with her, I think it's fine if you continue to talk with her.

 

But if you have the intention of trying to get her away from her bf- I would not go there.

 

I have always respected myself and others' relationships enough not to go for a guy who was taken, and I would hope for the same respect from others.

 

What about you?

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, that's what I thought, that's why I wanted to ask, because it was a little bit of a confusing situation. I probably wouldn't mind being friends with her. Is it a bad idea to be friends with her for a while, then if she ever is single again to then go for her? Or because I like her, to just never even be friends?

[Day_Walker]

If you can just be friendly with her then I would say do it but if your intentions are for more then you will be disappointed.

[Maverick32x]

this scenario is pretty rough... since a major reason that a person will break up with their Boyfriend/Girlfriend is due to the fact that there is a possible alternative relationship that is more inticing than their current situation....

 

And since you obviously want to have things go somewhere with this girl, you want to be able to show her that YOU are a viable alternative... however, that approach has a couple problems....

 

1: She might never break up with her boyfriend, lead you on, and pretty much lead you to alot of heartbreak.

2: Its morally questionable, trying to get her to break up with her boyfriend isnt really fair to that guy.

3: potential for cheating which is never good.

 

So ya, I don't know what to tell ya, if you were potentially romantically interested in this girl, i would talk to her abit. Just be nice, keep it casual... don't get friend zoned.... and than just kind of keep her on the radar, but I wouldn't pursue to heavily.

[Hope75]

Yeah, that's what I thought, that's why I wanted to ask, because it was a little bit of a confusing situation. I probably wouldn't mind being friends with her. Is it a bad idea to be friends with her for a while, then if she ever is single again to then go for her? Or because I like her, to just never even be friends?

 

If she were single there wouldn't be anything wrong with asking her out, but being friends while you wait for her to be single probably isn't a good idea. You set yourself up at that point to be hurt should she never break up, and as a friend you would not want to see her go through a breakup and be unhappy.

 

Make sense?

[RedPenguin]

Yeah that makes sense.

[Iceman26]

When i was younger I stayed away from girls with boyfriends. There are plenty of single girls out there.

 

I wouldn't like it if some dude was hitting on my lady when he knew that she had a boyfriend, so in turn I wouldn't hit on a girl with a boyfriend.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah that makes sense.

 

Anyway, out of curiosity, back to one of my previous questions.

 

I always thought it was rude to stare and that's why people don't stare. If so, then why do sometimes, girls just completely stare at you, even after you notice them, and still keep staring at you? I know it might just be something natural, I just never occurred it before.

[Iceman26]

 

I always thought it was rude to stare and that's why people don't stare. If so, then why do sometimes, girls just completely stare at you, even after you notice them, and still keep staring at you? I know it might just be something natural, I just never occurred it before.

 

There is no real easy answer to this question. Some people just stare, some girls may think you are cute, some may be horrified, who knows?

 

The best way to react to it is to smile at them when you catch them staring.

[Jetta]

Well I'm a little different because if you are interested in the woman and she is showing interest in you than I say go for it. They are NOT MARRIED. And if you don't go for it maybe she will end up married to wrong guy. Some of us like to be attached even if it isn't the right person.

[Iceman26]

True, they aren't married, but is it worth getting into a possible fight with the girl's boyfriend? I have seen that happen more times than I can count.

[scotty77]

I don't think you should try to be ''friends'' with this girl.It sounds like you are highly attracted to her.I would take the plunge and ask her out and if she inevitably turns you down ,you can say something ''oh that's cool,we can still be friends'' but I wouldn't put a lot of time and energy into being friends with her.I would still act nice and polite if I saw her I just wouldn't go out of my way to be friends with her ,in the hope she is going to break up with her boyfriend.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, that's what I thought.

 

I swear, though life is a tad funny sometimes.

 

It always seems to end up that way for me. Every time I go for a girl that seems to be going good like she might like me, it always ends up that she is either taken or turns out she doesn't like me. LoL.

 

I think it's a lie that there are more women then men in the world, either that or some men have like 5 girlfriends. J/K. LoL.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, all you guys were right. I am definatly going to stay away from her. I don't love to, but I just found her on MySpace and appearntly she has been with her boyfriend for 17 months. So that shows me, I would have no chance at all even if I tried.

 

Anyway, too bad in life, there isn't a way to tell who is single and doesn't have a Boyfriend, it always comes to you after you start to fall for the girl. LoL. Life Sucks.

 

Odd that she kept looking at me constantly acting like she was kinda interested in me, but who knows, LoL. I guess never try to figure out girls, they can just be confusing and misleading I guess. Wouldn't think I woulda got that with a girl that had a man for so long.

 

Anyway, guys/gals thank you all for your replies.

[Hope75]

Well I'm a little different because if you are interested in the woman and she is showing interest in you than I say go for it. They are NOT MARRIED. And if you don't go for it maybe she will end up married to wrong guy. Some of us like to be attached even if it isn't the right person.

 

Would you find it disrespectful to your relationship if you had a boyfriend and another women was doing everything she could to break you up and get with him, simply because you are not married?

 

I would consider that incredibly disrespectful. A person in a relationship makes a choice to do so, and just because they aren't married does not mean that they are not committed and happy together.

 

To me, it just makes more sense to go for people who are available, and not someone else's man or woman-- regardless of marital status.

[scotty77]

Well I don't think he suggested doing everything he could to try and break up the couple .I think he just meant letting her know how he felt towards her and then letting the chips fall where they may.She wouldn't be the first girl to change her mind.

[Maverick32x]

agreed.... trying to break two people up is VERY diffrent than making that person aware that you are interested in them.... If she is happy and commited in her relationship, than its no problem for her to say "I have someone" the end...

 

Whenever I've dated a girl there has always been a bit of competition from other guys, and I'm pretty fine with it, if she wants to run off with another guy, obviously she wasnt getting what she wanted out of me, so she should go elsewhere