My emotions froze

[olena]

Today it was chris; birthday. I called him at lunch time to wish him happy birthday and he said he would call me back in the evening to go out for dinner...He came to pick me up straight from work. We had dinner and at first we talked about the new house that he is buying.

 

Then we talked about us. He told me that when I left the house last week he started crying because I had left. because he did not know where I was and because he was regretting arguing and hurting me for the last year...then he said to me that he loved me, and that he knew that in the long run he wanted to be with me and marry me...he said that he needed time to sort him self, out and that nobody could compare to me, as he knows that nobody would stay with him all of those years when he was having so many problems...

 

I told him that I fel numbed and that I can not be upset anymore...it has nothing to do with whether I love him or not, but rather with the fact that in the last year, I have been so deeply hurt and upset that I can not feel anymore...He was upset as he perceived it as if I am beginning to stop loving him...

 

He dropped me back home and I said to him that I am not going to contact him any more, and that it's up to him to sort himself out...He mentioned to me that he told his mum that we are staying apart for a while, and she commented that it's his choice...All of his friends told him that he should come back begging me to take him back...I aksed him what he thought...and he said that his heart told him that he should be with me, but his mind told him that he should 'find himself' first if we are to have a real chance together...

 

Is it normal to feel so numbed and still love someone?

 

Olena

[Beec]

It's not that abnormal. In a sense you have a guy who thinks he is an unworthy partner, it seems, and that he needs to fix him before he will be a good one, in his own mind.

 

FWIW, I might look forward to a day when he is OK, but I also might not wait for him.

[robowarrior]

If he is sincere then i would give him another chance , and if then an occasion occurs where he starts to argue again, kindly remind him about the theraphy sessions he had, and that that's the door and you could leave any second in it. But besides of that, i would give it another chance.

[Drizown]

Sounds genuine I'd give him another chance. If you don't you could regret it later.

[olena]

Thank you all for the replies...

 

The truth is that since chris and I started talking about the break that he asked me for, he has been consistent in what he says....

He is now in the process of buying a flat and thinking of what he needs to do to improve the quality of his life...

When we met the other night on his birthday, he was affectionate...Chris never used to be the type of guy to sweet talk me...but as we were having dinner, he told me that I was his heart and that he loved my eyes...He held my hands and kissed them...

 

It saddens me that people that we used to know are slowly finding out that we are not together at the moment...last week I bumped into a friend of his who told me that chris had talked to him about me leaving, and said that it was over for now but that we may get back together in the future...

When we met on his birthday, he was telling me that he tried to contact some old friends in order to improve his social life...with little success as those people have moved on...

Then he mentioned to me that he did not want to make me unhappy next to him and that this is why he needed time to find what the problems are...and I asked him to explain what he does to make me happy...he said that he is not doing anything that is too obvious to me, but that he is trying in different ways to improve him self...

 

I don't know what to do next...I love him dearly...with chris it's beyond being in love - it's love...Since I moved in with my uni friend, I have only been coming back home to sleep...I keep my self very busy at work, after work, in the evening, in the weekends and I avoid giving my self the opportunity to think too much...everytime I realise what's happened I feel very upset...

Today I was at King's Cross and I saw a cat...I started weeping because I remembered how much I miss our cat...He was my cat, but I did not want to take him away from chris as chris would have had to come back home to a completely empty house...

 

I don't know if I should contact him and keep it very formal or just make no contact with him until and if he does....

 

O