Why am I thinking like this!?

[Dan629]

I have posted on this topic before and I am back again in the same situation. I have found myself tonight not wanting to live anymore. Me and my ex broke up a little over a month ago now and I am still not dealing with it well at all. I have had good days and bad but tonight is one of the worst. I have been talking with my ex over the phone and saw her a few times since we broke up. I know a lot of people suggest the whole NC thing but we were doing ok with just talking once in a while. I have been on a few dates since we broke up but I won't lie the whole time I have had hopes me and her would end up back together. Anyway tonight I found out she is dating a new guy. When she told me it completely broke my heart. It made me realize that she really does not have any feeling left in her to get back together with me. I still want her back so bad and thinking now that it is not going to happen makes me not want to live any longer. I don't know what to do. I want her back so bad and she doesn't want it at all. I do have family and friends who would be so crushed over me killing myself but I just don't see a reason to live. It is hard to do it when the one thing I lived for is no longer a part of my life. I give up on even writing this post. Screw it...

[cantexplain]

Same thing happened to me once.

 

A little voice came along in my mind and said, almost cynically ...

 

"If life is not worth living for, it sure as heck is not worth dying for."

 

It was bound to happen - one of you dating another first.

 

You'll be better in some time - - 'though some days are worst than others. If you just found this out - today might be the worst one.

 

I predict years from now she will miss you and you won't want anything to do with her.

 

Living well is the best revenge.

[isidore]

Hey Dan629 (my kid brother's name is Dan) just get through tonight, man. You've toughed out 20 years, just give it a little more time, you need to think about this more. As a wise man once said, festina lente.

 

You've gotta realize that it's only been a short while since the break, and you haven't really had a chance to start to heal. Seeing her so soon could be making things more difficult. And even though she might be dating someone now doesn't mean that she's having an easy time losing you.

 

I feel I could go on and on, but I won't subject you to that.

 

If you don't respond to this I'll think you might have done something rash and it will ruin my night!

[Dan629]

You know what the crazy part about the whole thing is... I actually slept with another girl the other night. I know most of you are thinking "this * * * * * * * has already slept with someone else and he is mad she is dating?" But the thing is I didn't enjoy it at all. It made me want her back even more and I almost felt like I was cheating on her while I was doing it. Even though I wasn't I felt that way. She was the first and only woman I ever slept with before this new one so that had a lot to do with it too. All I want in life is to have her and thinking it is not a possibility just makes me want to die. I took a whole bunch of asprin earlier trying to kill myself and afterwards I made myself throw up.... That made me feel even weaker that I couldn't go through with it. I still have dreams that me and my ex are back together and I wake up so upset that it was only a dream. The only thing that makes me not want to kill myself is because I honestly believe that I will go to hell. The thing is I often hope that I will go to heaven and heaven will be me and her spending the rest of eternity together. Thats how much I enjoyed being with her. Sure we had problems while we were together and there were things about her I couldn't stand, but at the end of the day I always felt so lucky to have her in my life.

[Jetta]

You need to stop focussing on what was and start building new. For a while I was trying to get back with my ex, made me depressed and gave him too much power. You're doing the same thing, which is partially why you're depressed. Now take your power back. If you start by thinking about your ideal mate you'll start building a future again. Thus creating happier feelings, feelings of being in control, etc.

 

If you and your ex happen to reunite after you go through the building a future then you are definitely meant to be. If you end up meeting someone new (more likely) you'll be excited again. Work on building a new future rather than being stuck in the past. No it's not easy but it gives you control in your life again. This will curb your suicidal feelings.

[applejack]

You have many reasons to live. You must give yourself time to heal. You are young, and have many years ahead of you. There will be more women. I know that you think that you will not meet anyone else, but you will!!! And she will be even more wonderful than this one was. Get out there and explore your interests. The world is a big place, and it is full of wonderful things and fascinating people. Don't restrict yourself to one place or one thing. If she wants to move on, let her.

 

Get plenty of rest. If you cannot sleep see a physician about some sleeping pills

 

Eat right-keep you nutrition balanced.

 

Do some physical activity-maybe at the gym, hiking, skiing...try something new....this is a good way to meet new people!!!

 

Allow yourself to get angry...but not to the point that you think of committing a crime. Think of it as her loss, but don't hold a grudge. Move on!

 

Don't call her, don't email her, don't text her, don't send smoke signals, don't try to summon her in your mind. Let her go. (she will wonder what happened to you)

 

And do not make any drastic changes in your life. Just go with the flow. It sucks and we've all been there. Keep your chin up and be proud of who you are.

 

You life will go on...you just have to start anew. Try new things and meet as many people as possible.

[applejack]

Thank God you made yourself throw up. Don't do this to yourself. If you want to sleep with other women that is your business. Don't feel guilty. This is your life, and you only have one. You will experience something near heaven. Another woman will come into your life and she will blow your mind. She will open your eyes to things that you've never seen. Give it some time.

 

Eventually you will meet someone else, and will be laughing at yourself and how you feel right now. And you will be thinking' "and I thought that I would never meet anyone else! Boy was I wrong!".

 

This is the first day of the rest of your life. Take the ball and run with it. \\