Feel inadequate

[Iggy5129]

Hi...not sure if this is the right forum. Anyway, I have been dating this guy for 5 months, we are both 21. He works full time at a car dealership and I go to school. Currently I do not have a job because I am having a REALLY hard time finding a part time job. I feel really inadequate and like a huge slacker compared to him. Like today, I don't have class until 1pm and he has to get up at 7am to go to work and works from 7:30am until 4:30pm. I just feel like I am doing nothing with my life. Adding to this is the fact that I am sick right now and haven't gone to class today.

 

He pays for everything while I still get money from my parents for school and living expenses. I don't think he cares but I feel pathetic for some reason like I can't even take care of myself...believe me I want to but at this point in my life I don't HAVE to and I also don't really have the resources to. We come from VERY different families, his family is the work hard type and is not very well off so he has to work for everything he wants whereas my parents are pretty wealthy and take care of me, I'm not a brat, I appreciate what they give me but I also feel guilty. Just wondering if anyone else feels like they do nothing compared to their SO. It just makes me feel like crap even though I know I am furthering my education and once I graduate I will have a great degree and be making good money.

[EvaGina]

He probably WANTS to support you!!! Education is important to you, so its most likely important to him

 

If he has to get up at 7 am, why not get up with him and spend the morning studying? then when he got home at night you could spend that time together. (when your not sick, of course )

[evening_light]

Iggy5129, don't feel bad you're blessed with good fortune..

 

 

You're envious of your guy, but he's dealing with the real world...ok, so you don't have to worry about your future...( mom and dad are there for you)

 

Right now, your like an athlete making 10,000 dollars a year but with a 20 million dollar sponsorship....what's the motivation?

 

Even though your parents are financially supporting you, do something worthwhile, find a part time job ( and I mean, really look for one...) help your fellow students with their homework, cook a meal, etc...there are endless things you can do without money...and maybe in time you will start to feel good about yourself.

[adahy]

Nothing says you'll make good money after college. I'm sure you'll make better money than if you didn't, but no guarantees.

 

You and you BF aren't married. Things are still separate. He's doing what he has to do and you have your parents. Nothing wrong w/ that. You shouldn't feel bad about it. The fact that you do is a good sign. The fact that your BF is motivated and hard-working is good too.

 

Anyway, making good money isn't easy. Sure, some people luck into things and some people get set-up by rich parents [who were set-up their parents and so on. They're the one's on the golf course at 2pm...they make good money, but really don't "work" that hard]. Most people however have to work...cause big salaries don't fall into your lap just because they have a college degree. It usually takes "work".

[sophie274]

I have not been in your situation, but I think I understand your feelings.

 

If you are looking for a part-time job, keep on looking. Something is bound to come up!

 

My only suggestion would be that you really invest yourself in University life - make sure you are getting the biggest bang for your buck. Go to extra lectures, do extracurricular activities, go to your professors' office hours, work hard and study hard. Also take advantage of the social opportunities a university has to offer. Having a busy schedule might make you feel like you "do as much" as your boyfriend - and knowing you are getting the most out of your investment might ease some of the guilt you are feeling.

 

By the way, I don't think you need to feel guilty. I am at university, and my parents will not let me get a job because they want me to be as involved as possible in university life and have the time to work and do all these extra things. I think education is one of the greatest things a parent can give a child, so thank them and good for you for taking advantage of this opportunity! There will be plenty of time for you to work at a regular job when you are older, and your degree definitely will open many doors for you.

 

I'd like to ask, has your boyfriend said anything to you that has made you feel guilty?

[Iggy5129]

No he hasn't said anything to make me feel this way. He is very sweet and supportive, I haven't even told him that I feel this way. I do know that he thinks I am very lucky to have the opportunity that I have. Thanks for the advice, I feel slightly better. I am involved in some campus activities and have had an internship and am working on getting another one for this summer, I am even going abroad next semester, I think I am just having an easy semester and that is making me feel slightly guilty as well...I am taking only electives because last semester was hard and I didn't do very well. Thanks for the support...I feel as though it may just be a phase and things will pick up this summer when I also have to work full time. I think it honestly is just that I don't have very much on my plate this semester and it makes me feel lazy. I didn't realize this until just now, so thanks for helping me to reflect on my feelings.