longhaircats Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I moved to UK about 4 months ago, and several friends told me that guys in the Europe date one girl at a time. Is it true? For example, my German male friend told me he dislike dating rules in the US, because people date multiple people at the same time in the beginning, but in Germany there is no such thing as "exclusive" because all relationships are exclusive. I'm from Japan and we don't have exclusive talk either. Maybe it depends on how two people meet, but if I get hit on by a guy in a bar/club, I just assume that he does it often and he has a list of girls he is interested in and date all of them at the same time? Am I wrong? Thanks for your input in advance! Link to comment
Thunderforce Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Yes in Europe, (Netherlands) ... it's strange, not done to date more people at once. Well ofcourse you have the one-night-stands but if you date more then once it's automatically assumed that you only date eachother ... And we don't really call it dating ... you just hook up togehter and see where the ship wrecks or doesn't wreck ... Link to comment
Spugly Fuglet Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 nope most brit guys will be be one girl only even when dataing I have been to the us and know the deal there is fine as evey one knows the rules, but in the uk only gitts date 2 or more girls at once. Link to comment
Biffy Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Hane you not seen any Hugh Grant movies?? We're all one-women men over here! Link to comment
longhaircats Posted February 2, 2007 Author Share Posted February 2, 2007 Thank you guys for your quick responce. I'm so happy to hear one girl at a time deal over here! Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I would go ahead and ask anyway. It does sound like it is mainly a one-woman/one-man thing, but if you are suspicious or have nagging doubts, just ask and be casual about it. Because I think it is a valid question and our cultures are different in that respect. Link to comment
Boughtandpaidfor Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Yes in Europe, (Netherlands) ... it's strange, not done to date more people at once. Well ofcourse you have the one-night-stands but if you date more then once it's automatically assumed that you only date eachother ... And we don't really call it dating ... you just hook up togehter and see where the ship wrecks or doesn't wreck ... THANKYOU SO MUCH!!!! I'm British and surrounded by Americans and Canadians who all think I'm lying about this!!! I said British people don't go on dates- because there isn't that formal state of affairs- you just start being with someone and we don't really say "dating"- and I got totally shot down. Ah --vilified!!! Link to comment
applepie Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I know it's not Europe, but I'm from Australia and it's the same way there. Most people will date one person at a time and get to know someone fairly quickly. It is definitely frowned upon to date more than one at a time. When I moved to the US I was amazed at all the serial daters. I don't see how you can really get to know someone if you're seeing 12 other people that week too. I know not everyone here is like that, but for those that are, it's not even seen as being a bad thing. It's expected that the other person is dating others too. Personally, I find it all a little seedy. Link to comment
shikashika Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I'm Canadian...and I'm pretty foreign to the idea of multiple dating.. Having a one-night stand is one thing... but if I went out with a guy for a couple of weeks.. and found out he was seeing someone else.. I would just think he was a player, a liar and a cheater! Going on 'a' date maybe.. but once you've had a 2 or 3 'dates'... then only one person.. I could never do the American way of dating and I don't know of any Canadians who do either.. I'm sure some do.. I think I asked about it on enotalone before... but its a totally foreign concept to me... I don't think I've ever had any friends or met anyone who does that.. unless they make it clear they are in bed-buddy relationship.. form both sides Link to comment
Weeblie Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Personally, I find it all a little seedy. I'm from the US and I find it seedy too. I also think it ruins things. Dating more than one person at the same time means they're going to be constant comparisons and in the end no one is really good enough. Link to comment
rosie76 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I'm from the US living in the UK and had never heard of it being common to date many people at once until I logged onto ENA... From all I've seen in Britain, unless it really is very early-stage dating - as in going to have a cup of coffee with an internet date - there is assumption you are with one person at a time. Doesn't mean folks won't be doing otherwise, but they're thought of (and think of themselves) as players. Link to comment
longhaircats Posted February 2, 2007 Author Share Posted February 2, 2007 When I moved to the US I was amazed at all the serial daters. I don't see how you can really get to know someone if you're seeing 12 other people that week too. I know not everyone here is like that, but for those that are, it's not even seen as being a bad thing. It's expected that the other person is dating others too. Personally, I find it all a little seedy. I was amazed too when I moved to the US 6 years ago. It was actually shocked to find out a guy I went out on a date was dating a lot of girls in one week and he acted like it's a totally natural thing to do. Even if you two are sleeping together, it is okay to go out on a date if you are not exlusive. To me, casual dating is somewhat understandable, but sleeping someone while still looking for someone else is totally unacceptable. It is disrespectful to both people. I'm happy that there are equal-minded people! Now the guy in question is Austrian who lives in UK, but he has lived in the US for while. Hummm..... Link to comment
rosie76 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Is this also the younger guy from the previous thread? If it's lightweight and just beginning and full of all these other doubts (i.e., is he too young?, will you keep living in the UK?) then does it matter a lot to you at this point if he might be seeing other people? If so, I'd try to ask generally about his lifestyle / dating history rather than outright asking if you're the only one, as that might be a bit too heavy so early on. Last few guys I've been out with it's come up naturally within the first or second date whether they date a lot or not, and it's been clear from the way they talked about this how they thought of relationships. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Most of the guys I know dated one woman at a time, and if they were dating more than one at a time it is because they were players. Link to comment
longhaircats Posted February 2, 2007 Author Share Posted February 2, 2007 Yes it's the same guy, and I will not ask him because it doesn't really matter at this point. I just didn't want to make a false assumption. I need to change my Americanized ways of thinking on dating! Link to comment
longhaircats Posted February 2, 2007 Author Share Posted February 2, 2007 i need to move to europe I know, I don't want to go back to the US! Link to comment
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