starting the convo

[WatupBruddah]

I have no problem talking to girls, only starting it. I'm not talking about a friend or anything. I just want to know how to start a good conversation with a girl you're just meeting, you think she's pretty, and you'd hope for one day to start a relation with her. I'm 15, so I'm not the type of person to say something like "hey, how are you doing.' I want it to be normal, not saying "hey, how are you doing" is'nt normal or anything, but like a "hey wats up" type of thing if you get what I'm saying. Once I start talking i just go with the flow and all is at ease. And what about when the conversation just stops to a halt, and the silence roles in. What can I say then?

Thanks

[Daligal83]

A great way to start a conversation is to comment on the person in some way. It could be a comment she made in class, something she's wearing, an activity she's in...it shows an interest and it gives you something to talk about.

 

Similarly, if a conversation is dying..ask her something about herself. About any other activities she does after school, if she watched a certain TV show last night, what she thought of something that happened at school, etc.

[CamaroJoe]

There's some information out there that can help you. Go to a search engine and type in David DeAngelo and see what the search yields. Also you can type in "David DeAngelo: Approaching women and starting conversations"...There is a lot of info on the site but for the in-depth stuff, you have to pay for it.

 

There's no secret to the approach. Say whatever you want just do it with confidence. Make sure she doesn't doubt you. You can even offend her a little, just make sure it's funny and not rude. And yes that's possible. lol

[rusty_boi]

i like to start with a "hi my name is XXXX, what are use up to today at XXXX"

[sector9]

wow i am the opposite. i can start a conversation with a girl, but its keeping the conversation going that i suck at.

[IronChef]

Pretend she's just another guy you want to chat to. how would you talk to him? no magic to it right? You'd just go up and start talking.

[MrKadash]

I went into a clothing store the other day, and mind you I'm no spring chicken anymore, but there was an early 20 something folding clothes in the particular area I was shopping. I commented to her how I had a room full of clothes at home that needed folding since she was so good at it. She laughed and we had a couple minute dialogue. I wasn't looking for anything, so I was light and she seemed comfortable and nice. I just try to notice something someone is doing and make a quirky turn on it. It's a good ice-breaker.

[cpc28655]

if she watched a certain TV show last night

 

be very careful with this one. last time I asked that question, I spent the next 15 minutes hearing about American Idol, lol. It was almost like talking to my mother.

[GeneralLee]

Its always works for me to use your surroundings, and preferably. Example: I was in walmart not too long ago when I saw a very pretty girl in the make up aisle. I walked down the aisle and started looking at make-up (which drew some sideways glances from people, but I don't really care). She was looking at lipstick, so I just picked up two sticks and faced her and said "Do I look like a "Fire-engine Red" or a "Passion Purple" to you?" She started laughing and picked up a different color and said "Oh no, you're definitely a "Neon Blue." We kept this up for a few minutes until we ran out of products and just started walking around talking. Things like that. Try to avoid insulting anything, and if you do have to insult something, make it yourself, but do it in a funny way, which actually shows a certain level of self-confidence. If you're super-confident, and don't mind getting shot down like a paper airplane in a flak storm before it works, go with this one, which I love using just to get laughs: Excuse me, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? To which she should reply "No." Then say, "me neither, but I'll bet its enough to break the ice." Or this one "You know what a fat penguin is good for?" "No." "Breaking the ice." She'll have to have a good sense of humor to go for those, but they've worked for me in the past. Have fun, but more importantly, have confidence.

[Dating Coach]

I like all of what you said except the bold. That's a bit too broad for me. Now you don't want to go talking trash about a bunch of stuff, but you CAN throw out "insults" in a flirting manner and have it work to your advantage, but it really takes a judgement call on the type of person you are doing it with.

 

Here is an example of someone taking that risk and using it to his advantage:

 

 

 

This guy made a judgement call based upon what he could read about this girl. He took the risk with a flirty insult and it worked. He showed some pretty good social skills here.

 

You could also try backhanded compliments. Like having a conversation with some cute girl at a bar or get together... "You're a Nurse? I've always had a thing for nurses! I'm actually involved in Boxing and that's kind of the opposite of what you do so I don't think we'd work out" and turn away. These kind of "Here's a compliment but I'm taking it away" usually works wonders with getting a woman's attention. Most guys will throw themselves at women non stop until the girl makes a decision about the guy. With a backhanded compliment like my scenario you told the girl you have a thing for nurses (like her) but then you told her that you couldn't date her. Most women instinctively want that attention you just gave them right back and will try harder to get your attention again. It also sets you apart from those guys who she's already got on a leash.

 

It sounds wild but trust me... this kind of flirting and teasing builds chemistry, is a challenge, and is fun.

[ghost69]

i usually just walk up and say 'how you ladies doin?" harmless. especially if they look bored. then i just talk about anything.

[GeneralLee]

The only reason I say not to insult anything is because I have horrid luck with things like that, and I would choose to insult the one thing that would offend them, so just to be on the safe side, I relegate my insults to myself. This is the safest strategy because I can't possibly offend them by insulting myself, unless they really like me, in which case I don't need to worry in the first place.

[Dating Coach]

I adopt a strategy that works for me. If I am IMO clearly joking and not meaning offense, and yet she decides to get pissed over it, then tough. I could care less. If she is bothered that much over something meant as a harmless joke, then she's far too uptight for me anyway and I'm better off without her.

 

I find that if you limit your conversation with girls based upon whether not you may offend them, then you're limiting yourself and appearing less confident. Adopting this attitude has been more to my benefit than limiting myself due to fear of offending.