Magic_star829 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Ok so the my ex the one who broke up with me about a week ago, saying he wanted to concentrate on school yada yada...well he had taken off his POF profile when dating me...and well today I noticed he put it back up, and it seems he put alot of effot into it as well. It says looking for : Dating! I can't believe it. I have had no contact with him since, and have been trying to heal, but after seeing that feel like I'm right back at quare one as far as healing goes. I just feel so used, and so stupid! How could I have fallen for that? How could he be ready to find someone else already? He really most not have cared one ounce about me! Is is common for guys to move on very quickly? Link to comment
Peckle Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 I'm going to be brutally honest with you: yes, unfortunately, most guys move on that quickly, and would do something like this, but probably come up with a better excuse than school. You'll be fine, it just takes time. Link to comment
Skippy Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 put simply... who cares... why are you checking what he is doing online. You are just driving yourself up the wall. Having NC not only means NO Contact, it also means that you do not try to find out what he is doing. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 whatever he was/is thinking or feeling is irrelevant. i know it's kind of hard to see that now, but whether he cared and how much doesn't matter anymore. it's over. focus on yourself. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 I agree with the rest and what he might have meant - half- true - is that a relationship with you wouldn't let him focus on school - casual dating is different. I agree not to drive yourself insane and check his profile. Link to comment
Magic_star829 Posted January 28, 2007 Author Share Posted January 28, 2007 Thanks everyone...I didn't check his profile..ok I did but only because I was on the site, and noticed his picture on the top...it's not like I was searching for it though, but yes I agree it will drive me crazy. Here's the twist...so last night, past midnignt...he calls and leaves a message saying he will be in my area of town today to exchange a gift and it's important that he talks to me, only for a second??? So he says he will drop by in the afternoon. Now honestly I don't feel like seeing him at all...I know though that I will be coming home from work around that time, and fear running into him. Would be he okay to break NC and send him a text or e-mail saying NOT to come see me??? I can't see what would be so important maybe he wants money for my ticket that he paid the day we broke up?? I really don't want to see him..... Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 if you don't want to see him, text him not to come, or be out of the house when he says he will be there... he doesn't have the right to just 'pop in' anymore if it interferes with your healing... and also there should be no 'mysterious' pop ins... if he needs to talk to you about something, he can leave a message about what it is so you can decide whether you want to talk to him... if you want a reconciliation and he wants to talk about that then fine, but don't let him drift in and out of your life based on his mood of the day, that will interfere with your healing... Link to comment
onelittleladybug Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Yes - its totally fine to break nc and text him not to come see you. I think its the right thing to do in your situation. And on the other subject - I personally am not strong enough to not care about the why's contrary to what everyone here is saying. But the way I see it - I totally agree that was dishonest of him so maybe that says something about him that you didn't see before. If you focus on that it might help in getting over this. Link to comment
Magic_star829 Posted January 28, 2007 Author Share Posted January 28, 2007 Thanks Bestrongbehappy, and onelittleladybug, I did text him saying to please leave me alone, and not to show up. He said fine he wasn't going to come. I have been up all night though wondering what he could have possible meant by it was something important he had to talk to me about...I really want to know...but at the same time am not strong enough to see him, I would be broken all over again. Link to comment
betrayedgirl Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Sorry. Yes I went through that .. my ex dumped me using my health condition as an excuse.. (then he finally admitted to the real reasons plus I found a hidden reason on his new profile ---no condos, no apts, etc) ... and he did move on pretty quickly which pizzed me off! Link to comment
Magic_star829 Posted January 29, 2007 Author Share Posted January 29, 2007 sorry to hear that betrayedgirl...wow that really is shallow! I can't even begin to understand the reasoning for that? It just doesn't make sense to me....breaking up with someone because he doesn't like the type of building you live in?!? Link to comment
betrayedgirl Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 sorry to hear that betrayedgirl...wow that really is shallow! I can't even begin to understand the reasoning for that? It just doesn't make sense to me....breaking up with someone because he doesn't like the type of building you live in?!? Thanks.. i'm ok now. pretty much over it.. yeah .. among other reasons.. but yes he is very shallow! Did not know that until after he dumped me. Link to comment
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