Does he want to be more than friends?

[CathmerineR]

I have a friend who I get on well with, and I'm getting to know better, but I'm wondering whether he likes me as more than a friend. He'll often sit next to me or stand near me. I keep noticing him turning round to look at me, or he'll look more openly and smile. He smiles at me a lot, and make eye contact with me when we're in a group. A couple of times I've been talking to other friends when he was nearby, and he's commented on something I've said, joining in with the conversation, which surprised me because I didn't expect him to be listening. What do you think? Does he like me or am I reading too much into it? What other clues should I look for?

[robowarrior]

Ask him out directly in his face, guys don't understand subtle signals, your wasting your time if you don't ask directly (who knows how many years it would take if you never take the initiative) and its a win win situation for you, if you ask him out and he says no, then you can move on with your life, if he says yes you got a date.

[Northalius]

Going by that? I'd think he wants more. But, if the chance is that he doesn't, he's either gay, or a really really good friend! lol!

[Clementine orange]

Hello??? He likes you!

He sounds like a nice guy - don't miss this opp (if that's what you are looking for)

[HurleyBabe6917]

Sounds to me like the guy likes you.

[grymoire]

I am a bit surprised about the number of replies saying that he likes this girl. Not sure what makes you guys think he likes her...

 

On a different note how can a guy find out if a girl likes him as more than a friend?

[BYOB]

Those clues that you have mentionned are signs of interest. Yet we are not answering your question which is all about: "What kind of interest does he have ?"

 

I think that you're reading a lot into it. If it's not because that guy wants more than a friendship, I think that you should go to him by yourself. Or, am I completely wrong to think so ?

 

Any other clue that you should look for will be given as soon as you date him.

 

If you need any tip to move to the next step, don't hesitate to ask.

[grymoire]

I think BYOB is right on.

 

More solid clues would be if he flirts with you, compliments you, gives you extra attention.... If he says "Do you want to go for a coffee with me?" or something like that then that's a good sign...

[Kevin T]

Saying, 'do you want to go for coffee' isn't a sign. A sign must be read and interpretted. Nothing needs to be interpretted about that question.

 

It's essentially asking her out. It far surpasses that of a sign, symbol or indication.

[CathmerineR]

Okay, an update: the last couple of times I've seen him I've been a bit discouraged. He still talked to me happily, but didn't seem to make as much eye contact, or come up to me as much. I have been a bit quieter and more withdrawn than usual, because I wasn't feeling very happy (nothing to do with him). Have I put him off? Was I imagining it in the first place? What's going on in his head?!

[Batya33]

What has worked for me for the last 20 years is to force myself not to "analyze" the signs and to believe that if a man is sincerely interested and emotionally available for a relationship he will ask me out on a proper date he plans in advance. Nothing else is relevant. I will add that of course you should be reasonably warm, friendly and approachable to him but that's really all there is to it. I have asked men out where I thought I saw "signs" like you describe - either they were attached and/or not that interested in me - they just liked flirting. Nothing wrong with asking him out - as long as you are comfortable with the high risk that he is not that into you and the risk that you will have to continue being the pursuer and doing most of the asking, planning, and initiating - if that is comfortable for you, go for it.

 

I will add that almost all men are flattered to be asked out and that almost all men in happy, healthy long term relationships did most of the asking, planning and initiating - in the beginning stages. Very few long term relationships start with the woman doing the asking out.

 

Having said that if you just want to know if he is interested in you beyond friendship - probably - he probably finds you attractive and likes flirting a bit. That does not mean he wants to date you.