How do I not fall apart???

[agualibre777]

Two things happened separately but in the same time frame and I'm at work and can't focus because I'm so depressed and sad.

 

One thing was that my old roommate and friend of two years exploded cause I asked her to pay for half of an expensive part she broke on my car when I got a flat tire and she was showing me how to change it. She jumped on the crowbar til the nub broke off and it cost me more than $90 to fix it. When I sent her an email asking her to pay for it, it ended in a whole bunch of emails attacking my person and who I am and how people "warned her about me"

 

And then this guy I was dating (not in a relationship) still goes to my yoga studio. And we were friendly afterwards, I asked him if he wanted to come over for dinner after yoga and he said yeah (by email) but then this girl was flirting with him at the exit, saying hi or something and the look on her face... beaming at him like he was a gift sent from the heavens. When I exited he saw me and started talking to me, the girl went down the stairs but kept looking at him. Then when we got down the stairs he said, I'll call you in 5/10 minutes and ask for your address. I said, why 5/10 minutes? He said "you're gonna cook right" and I just gave him a weird look. I said, where are you going? and he wouldn't tell me. and I was like o.k. whatever. And then he called me five minutes later and was asking me where was i, and i was telling him how to get there, supposedly he was on the way, had a headache, probably needed to drink water, and someone clicked in on the line, and he said, he'd call me back. and he called me back 15 minutes later and said he had a headache and wasn't going to come over. i was like "whatever, i don't believe you". we ended up talking for a long while, 45 minutes, he was at his house cause his cell phone dropped the call and he called me from his house number. but it was weird. he wouldn't explain anything about his strangeness and said that he had missed out on an opportunity with a girl cause he was protecting my feelings etc, etc. he just said that i'm so "difficult"

 

I told him, look, I am not into you anymore, I'm attracted to you sexually, that is all. And we discussed the possibility of becoming just sex buddies, but he wasn't happy with it cause I was proposing it and it "gives you control". He didn't like "to be told what to do".

 

So I thought about the whole thing and sent him an email this morning saying forget it, the magic from our friendship was gone, he refused to acknowledge my feelings about his strangeness, our communication was bad, we should just write it off. that i valued what we had, but it was gone now, probably my fault. no response. I feel like crap. Now I have to leave the yoga studio cause I don't want to see him and the girls that will flirt with him. There are mostly women and he is ripped physically and very handsome and so they will. And there aren't any men for ME to flirt with!! Sigh.

 

I feel bad, I got an email from my old roommates boyfriend saying he went into my room and ripped up the check she'd written me, that I was trying to "trample" on her...

 

I feel sooooo darn saaaad. I was soooo happy and confident yesterday, so that was why I invited him for dinner and he totally blew me off in this really rude way. So why do I care??? Why do I care about someone who soooooo **obviously** is just really good with words and is conceited and arrogant, and doesn't care about me at all??? Why? I can't even focus without feeling like crying...

[robowarrior]

Look, in both cases its NOT your fault. You are simply the victim of other people's bad and selfish behaviour. If i was your friend and broke the thing, i would say to myself ' yep, i broke it unfortunately but i'll pay it back'

 

And that guy, it doesn't matter how much he is ripped or how handsome he is. Its about the person that is inside that counts, and to me he was very sketchy about the whole thing. If one thing partners should be honest to eachother, and have nothing to hide. The only reason he wouldn't tell, is because he has something to hide, namely that he's also going out with another girl.

 

And that is not so suprising , having so many girls drewling all over you, he's taking the situation into his own hands, and you already saw how much he liked to have things in control.

 

So basically you are all depressed and sad for no reason, why? because your friend isn't a real friend, and that guy isn't suitable for dating. The whole friends w/benefit things is useless and even more meaningless.

 

You need to be like a castle gate, close yourself to bad people/things/events, and open yourself up to good people/things/events, if your letting in bad people in your life like you have, then its like allowing the enemy into your own castle, it will only bring havoc and your castle to ruins. So be carefull with whom you let yourself involved next time.

 

There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our inherent weakness of purpose.

 

So keep on going for gold in your life, it was wrong to expect things to work out, always keep in mind that stuff might not work out, but that doesn't mean you need to stop trying.

 

The person who takes the initiative , wins!!!

[agualibre777]

It just really hurts, because my former roommate was a friend of 2 years. And albeit not one of my best ones, I never would have expected this. And the way she said that "many people told me I should stay away from you" was so cruel and hurtful.

 

And I can't help but hurt because I opened myself up to this guy so much emotionally, and even when he shut me down I kept believing he was a good person it's just I was too intense for him.

 

I agree, what is important is that people are good. He is rich but doesn't even give a dime to those in need and makes fun of me for protesting the war. He has disrespected me so many times...

 

But now I have to switch yoga studios at least for a time, until when I see him it doesn't hurt. There will most definitely be a point, probably not long from now when I see him and he isn't even attractive to me because I can't be attracted to someone who is so careless with my feelings.

 

i don't know, i really believed he was this amazing person, he was so kind, so sweet, but it didn't last that long i guess, i know i should trust less, it hurts that i open myself up so much to be burned!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

what bothers me the most is just that this takes over my mind so that i can't focus at work and can't do things, i get so sad about it, i can't focus. irony is that i'm often counseling other women... sigh....

[LetThemEatCake]

Awwww...

 

You are better off without the sad hookup, OR the bad friend.

 

Count yourself lucky and go on, you sound tough.