She says she loves them,

[EatonWhipple]

all of my girls friends are guys.... and she says "i love you" to all of them.....

 

I know she's really caring, but it kinda makes me feel like her love is cheap, meaningless, she says she isn't attracted to them the same way she is me, and i think it's maybe cause (not to be full o myself) i'm the only remotely attractive one...

 

still tho, the "i love you" thing is that normal?

i'm tempted to tell some of my female friends "i love them" just to see what happens....

[Scout]

i'm tempted to tell some of my female friends "i love them" just to see what happens....

 

Go for it! Let your girlfriend find out what it feels like to have you fawning all over your female friends in front of her. If she still doesn't get it...well, I went back over your other threads. I don't think it will be the end of the world if you find someone else. She seems to crave attention from other males.

[Maverick32x]

well that was confusing at first... I read.. "All my girlfriends are guys" and I'm like... wait a minute... girl......is a guy.......

but now i get it!!!

 

I sense a little bit of insecurity... which is something you need to deal with ASAP!!!! Don't just rely on the fact that you feel that you are better looking than her friends... maybe take comfort in the fact that she is WITH you.... and thats why she loves you....

 

I think its pretty normal to say "I love you" to your friends.... do you get upset when she tells her parents or bro/sis that?

 

oh ya, and don't try to give her a taste of her own medicine... I think you'd be breaking a couple social norms by doing that

[AwdreeHpburn]

Before we play or suggest playing the "I'll get her back" game - have you told her it bothers you? I mean, that it actually really just gets to you and you wish she wouldn't?

 

Cos - after that I mean, if she still does that, there's more going on.....respect wise. Know what I mean?

[gfein347]

I agree with Maverick that it's probably not the best idea to fight fire with fire. Though I haven't gone through your other posts, as Scout has, I've never been in favor of the "two wrongs make a right" theory, and I think you'd be disrespecting your girlfriend by doing that. Instead, let her know how you feel. If she really loves you differently than she loves her friends, then her reply should make you feel at ease.

 

Like Scout said, she seems to be craving male attention. Maybe there's a bigger issue that's underlying this one?

[Scout]

You are all giving more mature advice than I did. Yeah, two wrongs don't make a right. Forgive me, I had a relapse!

[EvaGina]

Go for it! Let your girlfriend find out what it feels like to have you fawning all over your female friends in front of her. If she still doesn't get it...well, I went back over your other threads. I don't think it will be the end of the world if you find someone else. She seems to crave attention from other males.

 

Pardon?

 

I only have 2 female friends, and I have a lot of friends.

I tell ALL of my mates that I love them and I hug them, a lot...

some girls just dont get along well with other chicks. I find females to (generally) be selfish, whiney, two faced, boring and stupid. the women I DO get along with tend to be older and have conflicting social obligations to mine, so I dont have the opportunity to forge meaningfull relationships with them.

 

Its INSULTING to hear that a girl cant tell her friends she loves them, just becuase they are men. I flat with a guy I once had sex with, my bf doesnt care at all. he knows that I love him and that is all that matters.

 

Its pretty sexist, actually.

 

EatonWhipple, dont worry about it. you should be glad that she gets along with guys, it will make it easier for her and your friends to hang out.

[Scout]

Well, you just made some incredibly sexist comments about the female gender! We're "selfish, whiney, two-faced, boring, and stupid"?? Wow.

 

And there are girls who crave male attention, and what's more, they usually echo the exact same things you just said about other girls. I strongly believe they don't like other girls because they view them as a threat/competition for that attention.

[EvaGina]

Well you strongly believe wrong.

I dont hate girls, I just tend to get antsy in their company for long periods of time. I dont find talking about make-up and shoes at eny length stimulating.

 

I do "crave male attention".. but not for any deep-seated reasons... people crave companionship, its human nature, but why should I crave attention from females if I dont enjoy insipid company?

 

The women I admire, I love very much. My best friend's are females (the two mentioned before) and they are gorgeous, far better looking than I will ever be. they are also sweet, kind, gentle and generous... so wouldnt I be threatened by them if you were right?

 

It seems to me that YOU are threatened by girls who can get along with men (who arent their partners) on a level that doesnt involve sex.

 

I agree that some girls do just need male attention, even to the detriment of their romantic relationships, but just because someone tells their friends she loves them?

 

May I ask if you are still good friends with your ex partners?

[Scout]

It seems to me that YOU are threatened by girls who can get along with men (who arent their partners) on a level that doesnt involve sex.

 

But isn't sex or some kind of physical affection a past component of a lot of your current male friendships? You say you're great friends with all your exes, and even your room-mate is someone you've slept with.

 

Look, I don't want to call into question your motivations, your character, etc. I don't know you. But you took a lot of issue with my original comments, so obviously it pushed some kind of button in you. You took my opinion very personally for some reason.

 

I hate to pull the age card, but I've been around 15 years longer than you, and I've seen so many females who talk about how they can't stand women, they can't trust women, only to try and hog all the male attention around them. They're the kind of girl who will ramp up contact with an ex once she hears he's involved with someone else, or will flirt with her supposed platonic male friend in front of his new girlfriend...all to undermine any attention she's not getting.

 

To answer your last question, I'm friends with maybe one ex, but other than that, no. I do not feel the need to hold on to every guy I've ever been involved with, nor would I disrespect my boyfriend by parading my exes back and forth under his nose.

[EvaGina]

Physical touch is part of all my friendships, male or female.

I wouldnt sleep in my male friends bed while with my bf, becuase I know it would make him uncomfortable, but I wouldnt stop hugging them or anything.

Yes, I have slept with some of my male friends, but I dont see why that means I cant be friends with them... Its not like I sit cuddled up on the sofa with them or anything, or that there is sexual tension between us.

 

You are kind of proving my point, I can be friends with a guy, REAL friends with them, despite our past or sexual history (or lack thereof)

 

The age thing is probably why I dont like women in general, as I said, the majority of women I get along with are quite a bit older than me, and can hold actual conversations, unlike most of the girls I know that are my age.

 

I do not see how being friends with your ex's is disrespecting your current partner. I am not on speaking terms with only 2 of my ex's. One because he was highly abusive and although i will probably talk to him one day, he still flies off the handle too easily.

The other becuase he still has feelings for me and it WOULD be disrespectfull to my current bf to spend time alone with someone who feels that strongly about me.

 

apart from that, I find it kind of sad that you can respect and enjoy someones company enough to forge a relationship with them, but not have the fortification to continue enjoying their comapny after the romance has faded.

 

AS I SAID... I know that there are women exactly like you describe, but NOTHING in the original post indicates that this guys gf is like that. She tells her friends she loves them... and...?

She has told him that she loves only him in a romantic way. There is no indication she is cheating... If he had said "she talks to them and touches them and ignores me all night" then I would agree with you.

But it seems like you have been burnt and your a bit to quick to judge.

[JimmerJammer]

If you're truly concerned, simply stating where you stand will let you know what's going on in her mind. Something like this works well, "I wanted to bring something up with you. I've noticed how you say "I love you" to your guy friends and I admire how you care about your friends like that, but if they ever get the wrong impression about what you mean, understand I will have a problem with it if they don't get the picture that its strictly platonic. Otherwise that will say to me that you don't respect me and I will not be fine with that."