Can someone explain this to me?

[Kalika]

I was speaking to a girlfriend of mine last night and she was very upset because she and her boyfriend (of about 3 months) had plans to go out to dinner. So because he had to work late, he called her around 8ish to go out to dinner, but when he found out that the restaurant he wanted to go to was closing soon (Applebees), instead of going over to her place to hang out (or just going somewhere else for dinner) he just backed out of the whole evening and instead asked her to Applebees tonight instead. She told him she had plans for dinner tonight and couldn't make it. Even so, he didn't go over to see her last night. It seemed to me like he would rather just go to applebees than actually see my friend.. I'm confused, is this something that most people would be okay with or is it a sign that he's flaky and/or not really that interested in her??

[rnorth]

Its sounds more like a misunderstanding or miscommunication than a sign of a lack of interest. Did your friend let him know that she still wanted to see him? Maybe he is just really busy and it has nothing to do with her.

 

Tell her to be clear with him what she wants. I don't think there was anything devious intended by his actions; he may just be clueless. How old are your friend and this guy?

[BrokenHeart82]

It could also be a possibility that since he did in fact offer to take her to dinner he didnt want to come as not following through by instead vegging at her place.

 

I mean he cancelled in as gentlemanly a way as he could...by cancelling and immediately offering up alternate arrangements!

[Batya33]

I think it's odd that after three months of dating and being exclusive she didn't feel comfortable enough to ask why he didn't want to see her even though Applebees was closed. I would think they would be past the "asking out" stage but that's just me.

[BrokenHeart82]

Actually I do agree with Batya on this one as well.

 

Though he may have no had any malicious intent in not seeing her...you'd think that after three months that when he said

"How about dinner tomorrow instead?"

She couldve said

"Well actually I have dinner plans, but id still love to see you tonight, come on over after work!"

[Kalika]

That's what I told her, that she should've said something like, "Well.. we can go somewhere else, if you wanna come pick me up" or something like that ...

I know so little about men.

[Batya33]

Nothing to do with "men" - just has to do with this particular person - and nothing to understand - it's clear - he did not want to see her unless they could go to that particular restaurant or he was looking for an excuse to not see her. - what is not clear is not "men' but your friend's decision not to ask him why.

[lifestream]

This is by far the least of your friend's worries. The more you analyze it, the more worried you become. The more worried you become the more suspicious you become as well. It's a destructive cycle. Don't be so quick to judge.

 

I remember my ex used to not call when she couldn't make it. She'd tell me she couldn't make it once I called. Yeah, it was a bit annoying, but how would she know if I didn't tell her? So I told her next time to call if she couldn't make it.

 

She should just talk to him about it, but not make a big issue over it. There's really nothing to this at all. No one is a mind reader. Positive communication is key.