Are we all too jaded?

[ItsYourChoice]

Question...

 

I have had my share of bad dating experiences. I dont think I even know how to tell if a man is genuine anymore!

 

What are ways to know a man is really interested and not trying to "play" you?

 

My situation is this: Met a guy on link removed and hit it off via email, via the phone, and then when we met the conversations just flowed really well and we ended up kissing at the end of the night and he asked me for another date before this one was even over! We went out again and it was late so he stayed over, we both were dressed and only kissed but he made it clear he was "into" me and wouldnt have minded it going further but that he wasnt ever going to pressure me.

 

However, because ive been burned in the past...when he told me nice things such as how beautiful i am, how he cant wait to see me again, etc,e tc I became suspicious. He said how id make a good girlfriend for him and talked about how if people asked would we fess up to meeting on match or make up a backstory..lots of joking and good times.

 

Hes called, texted..not suffocatingly but enough.

 

So how do you know a guy is true or if he is playing you and what about this situation??

[flower99]

It so hard to tell, but the best way for me, is to hold off on sex. A man who's truly into you for more than sexual relationship, will wait patiently. (like a gentlemen.) Because there is so much more to getting to know someone & it takes time. And someone who's True should just love spending time with you, enjoy the company.

 

If he's bringing up sex so soon...it makes me wonder....cause he's letting you know what he wants (or won't have minded)

[dogheadma]

Just like when you're in a relationship, it takes time, patience, and understanding in order to determine if this person will have the qualities you are looking for in a boyfriend.

[Batya33]

There are no guarantees but what I do - no sleepovers until we've been dating at least a month and then only because of circumstances (and not last minute circumstances but a weekend plan, etc) - no s_x until we've been dating at least a few months, we are exclusive, etc. I don't do this to test or play games- these are my values and what I am comfortable with. Above all, watch the feet not the lips -what he does not what he says and observe his actions over a period of a few months at least - anyone can be on good behavior for several weeks. I almost laugh every time I read or hear "he always calls me" or "he always tells me how lovely I look" and then you realize they've been dating for two weeks.

[Momene]

I think if you've been single a long time, it's so easy to become jaded. What it does force you to do is look for fulfilment in life without depending on being with someone to do it.

[bigheart09]

The more relationships we are in, the more jaded we can become. We have a tendency to project our fears and/or bitterness from our previous relationships into our current ones. The current SO might be genuine, but because we got hurt in previous relationships we dont see that. No one wants to get hurt over and over again, so we put up defensive walls.

 

The only thing you can do is trust what they are saying to you unless they prove otherwise. Take things slpwly and learn from previous mistakes. To be happy in life, you must take chances.

[HarleyHunny]

Agree with bigheart..... check this out: It helped me to learn more about myself and the more I know the better I become........ link removed