I feel half sick now from what I've just seen

[bdwiii]

Well, I guess I'm just punishing myself but I went by her place late this evening (11:30 pm.) and she wasn't home. Someone else's car was parked there, but hers is gone. Of course she has to work tmorrow like most people so I know what's happening now; she's spending the night at someone's house tonight and going to work from there in the morning.

 

This just totally invalidates everything we ever shared or ever had together. She's sleeping with someone else already, only two weeks after I moved my things out. Hell, for all I know it could have been happening all the while I was in Florida. I just can't believe that I meant so little to her that she could be doing what she is now. Like it never happened; three years together and the sheets weren't even cold before she's in the sack with someone else. Now I know why she threw me out like she did.

 

I feel half sick, like I want to throw up.. I know I am only doing this to myself by going by there, but I wanted to know, it's like I had to know something since I never got so much as a hint as to why. Now I know.

 

It's going to be a sleepless night tonight.

[soul]

Hey

I just want you to know that I have been there before, and yes it was the worst case scenario. I am currently about to go through it again with another girl who I am completely in love with. WE recently broke up because she wanted to "experience" other people. I don't have to tell you be strong find a new hobby ect.. all that stuff people tell you to make you feel better when you break up. Chances are, you have already heard it all and it's true, do all those things they really help.

 

But in the end I know this is killing you. How? How could she just get with someone else? What about all we had? all the those true and loving moments we shared? I know. I am going through the same torture. Even though I know I am the only one who can stop myself from feeling this way, I still let these issues tear me up inside. I imagine you must feel the same way.

 

Just realize that you must take control of you emotions and try your hardest to smile and know there are better days ahead, there have to be right? I truly hope so, for both our sakes and any one else going through heart break. .

 

I know I didn't really offer any direct advice, Just know that there is somone out there who feels your pain and is willing to empathise with you. Hope this helps best of luck. SOUL...

[SarCareBear]

although ive never been in the same situation, i know how u feel.. its like your addicted to her, and you want to feel the pain cuz it feels good in an odd way.. your still wounded from the breakup that, unfortunately, only time will heal.. on the meantime, try to phase her out of your life AS MUCH AS YO CAN.. as much as you want EVERY Little detail.. no calling her, stalking her (heheh), or anything of the sort.. go out, look for other women, and stay strong! getting over someone can be the hardest thing in the world

[Genesis]

I wanted to tell you in your other post that I think she may have a new BF, but every one was commenting on her mental health issues so I did not reply. This is the type of behavior that people have when they are cheating, yes she was cheating on you during the relationship. No one finds a back up plan that fast! My ex did the same THING to me acted, like a a$$ hole during th breakup just to appease the other woman. Then she dumped his sorry a$$ 3 months later! Your ex is a cunt who does not deserve you! I hope that her new man dumps her so she can see what a bitch she is for dumping you!

 

People who cheat just have low self esteem ,do not worry this man will kick her sorry a$$ to the curb before you know it. Then her sorry a$$ will be trying to get back together with you again, That is what my ex is trying to do! Good Luck!

 

Just remember: If they will do it (cheat)with you, they will do it to(cheat on) you!! This man will be cheating on her sorry a$$ in about 3-6 months.

 

I say her and move on!

[Gilgamesh]

I do know that sick feeling, oh man do i know. you wish you could just throw up and get it out, but no, it just keeps a grab on you. its hard for people who never experinced it to know what your feeling, its more like a combination of things

 

Astonishment, betrayal, you feel used, like dirt, like a fool, all at the same time. and that doesnt even scratch the surface.

 

Its true, people who cheat like that, are so low, I have more respect for prostitutes than I have for a woman who cheats (i dont do prostitutes by the way) at least a hooker doesnt pretend to love you, you know exactly where you stand. but with these cheaters, they lead you on until the last moment then dump you like an empty can, after pouring your heart into a drain.

 

I am saying this from a males perspective, but the same goes to men who cheat on women too.

 

If you dont love the person your with, just end it, then and there, dont go using that person until you can latch onto another. thats abuse. and only hurts the other even more.

[bdwiii]

Thanks everyone for the replies.

 

The things that you've all said are so very true. As I see, a lot of you are experiencing this same pain and it is horrific. I think it's one of the worst emotional agonies anyone can suffer. It's even harder to face than a death. At least when someone you love dies, you know why they left you. It wasn't because they stopped loving you, they simply died, it wasn't their choice to abandon you. However, when a lover leaves you what tears you to pieces inside is the knowledge that he/she is still live and well and available, just not to you anymore. And what compounds that pain is to know that they are now sharing not only their hearts but their bodies as well with someone else. Someone else is sleeping in the bed you once slept in, making love to the person you used to make love to and thought you knew so well. Sitting with them watching the same TV you used to and so on... Yeah, it's living hell. But we must go on.... and it sure isn't easy.

 

Thanks again to you all,

 

Burt

[infaith]

hi bwiii...

 

sigh...when i read your problem, that's all i could do...

yet another person suffering the immense hurt i'm going through myself...

it pains me to read your post...really pains me...

 

my ex of 5 years left me without any valid reason...

gave and invested so much love, money, time and sacrifices to him...

 

so i understand...it's hard to fanthon how someone could just walk away...

could just abandon all the memories shared, sacrifices given and love invested...

you simply just can't believe how people can be so devoid of emotion...

 

how could your gf just dump you after all the love and time shared?

yeah, i'm angry at her...don't know her, but i'm really pissed of by her actions...

[bdwiii]

Thanks for the reply.

 

So the same thing happened to you too? it truly is amazing isn't it? How someone who layed naked in your arms, caressing your skin and looked into your eyes and told you were the one they wanted to spend the rest of their life with could do this to you. All the empty words and promises still ring in your ears. The look that was in their eyes when they said these things still is emblazoned in your brain. I can distinctly remember one particular evening after we made love how she held me so tightly and with tears in her eyes said, "I love you so much, if I'd ever lose you again I couldn't bear it."

 

It's memories like these that fester and troment our very souls. You rmember all of this and your heart and soul screams out to heaven why!? but no one answers, there are no answers. All you know is that the person whom you loved and thought loved you has suddenly turned ice cold, devoid of feelings for you one way or the other and has left you.

 

As I said before, I know no greater pain.

 

Looks like we're in this together and I feel for you and am here if you want to talk as well. I'm just waiting for the pain to turn to anger, it starts to hurt less then.

 

Burt

[infaith]

in a relationship, you cherish the promises made, the dreams shared and the excitment in building a life together...

 

so yes, it hurts when your loved one turns his or her back on you and you realise, all the promises and love declared are nothing but empty..

but it hurts even more when you also realise, they were indeed sincere at the point they said these things...

but somehow, they changed...

and you question, how could they change just like that?

wat happened?

 

my ex told me i was the most impt person in the world to him, how he wanted to marry me, how he teared whenever he imagined something bad happening to me, how he was so smitten with me...

 

i do believe he meant these things at that point...

but we must realise our exes may no longer be the people we once knew...that's why they are able to do the things they have done despite the promises made - choose to kick us out of their lives and do things that hurt us (unintentionally)

they have a different agenda and no longer have our interests at heart...

 

once again, sigh...

[Gilgamesh]

Infaith, my story is very similar to yours, me and my ex, we had no arguments we were very happy together, we were together 4 years, only weeks before she broke up with me, she told me how much she wanted me and couldnt wait for us to get married, so that we could have a child together, we were even planning a vacation together.

 

And then one day, she just said she didnt love me anymore, just like that! no fights, I didnt do anything, she couldnt give me a reason.

 

What made it go real sour is, that her family that adored me, really got on her case about breaking up with me, and she started doing things to make it look like her decision was justified, things like telling her family that i asked for all my gifts back, etc. she then told me she cheated on me, so I wouldnt continue trying to make up with her, i discovered this wasnt true later on, but she didnt care about the pain she caused me, it was like it was a complete other person, to me one day she cryed with happiness in seeing me while i came back from a trip, the next she leaves me, with absalutly no excuse. I sometimes wish I had done something wrong, then at least Id know what happened. I have guessed at many things, but to this day not 100% sure why.

 

Although I give a lot of advice in this forum, and try to uplift spirits, its hard to practice what one preaches sometimes, and I once in a while get in a slump, My memory is so keen, its like it happened days ago, No I dont hurt like before, but do feel lonely, and sometimes get that fear that love will never come my way again.

 

I dont want to feel this way, I should be happy, now that I am over her, but still, I feel depressed when I remember what happened, I try to change my train of thought, and it works, but it comes back to me every time i hear a particular song, or someone says something she used to, there is to much of my life experiences connected to her and still remind me of what I had.

 

I am not foolish though, I know that the woman I loved no longer exsists, she never did, she was an illusion, I'll cherish my memories of what we had together, like those of a wonderful dream. but Im awake now.