Feelings.. 3 months NC.

[smiles21]

So.. I post again enotaloners. Many of you know the tale, I am posting now about three months into NC. Out of the 4 year relationship with the ex.

 

I think some things may have sparked feelings, one being last night, I was at a local bar that I frequent, and I saw the old group we used to hang out with the backstabbed me after we split, they kept calling her, and basically turned on me. Suprising enough, they all came running over and said hello to me, asking where I have been. Are they kidding? They ditched me for her. I was cordial, no point in being nasty I guess. Maybe im just a forgiving person.

 

So I feared the ex was there, I havn't seen her in three months. She wasn't. I was kind of relieved, maybe she had a new boyfriend, and I was hoping they wouldn't mention her, and they didn't.. I dont want to know what she is up to. Surpised she wasn't out with them though.

 

I still think about her, and I was sorta seeing someone else the past couple weeks, but that isn't panning out to anything. I still miss the ex, but I cant seem to forget about everything that happened in the end, I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore, and couldn't make her fall back in love.. but I know it was the right decision. Maybe I should have fought for her.. I dont know. I find myself regretting the way I acted. I had a missed call from her about a month ago on my phone, I didn't call her back.

 

I am slowly moving forward, but I think the run in last night may have sparked old feelings of the group, and us together. I do miss her dearly, as dating lately has been a little depressing, a temporary fix.. but I feel like noone compares to her still. Yet, I know there are great girls out there, and I almost texted her today, thank the lord I didn't. Slowly.. it gets easier.

[kadvati79]

Mate, look at how well you are doing. You're post above just screams all the right things. Yeah sure, you still feel a bit like crap about it - but thats fine. The most important thing is that you have a handle on your actions. Actions come before feelings.

 

Don't set yourself a timetable for your feelings, but keep control of your actions. In time your feelings will become clearer.

[mikeca]

its one thing to acknowledge your feelings its another now to dwell on them. Your doing really well, it only will get easier, time will slowly take the pain until one day you have an ephihany and you conquer life, and do it back under your terms.

[christy1002]

smiles....It sounds like you're on the right path and that it does "slowly get easier." It's only natural that running into the "old crowd" or being around the people or "in the situation" that you and her used to be around will cause "old feelings" to arise. When we break that NC it is like starting all over again..... Just because your recent dates haven't been "the one" doesn't mean that the right one isn't it out there. Stay strong and keep up the good work!