dragging me down...

[barbie16]

i had this great groups of friends one being my best friend despite me being the only girl in the group we all had a laugh. i ended up going out with one of the males who then started acting off with me and i had heard he was going to leave me, i went out and stupidly got drunk i ended up kissing another guy and my boyfriend found out through word of mouth. he remained supporive and we stayed in touch and it didnt affect my friendship with the others.

i then fell pregnant and told him he was fine and very very helpful to me. until his best friend convinced him i was lying and after my abortion i had no proof i was destroyed. he texted and calls hurling insults at me and i insisited and stuck by my word as i had no idea what i had done wrong he then told me that if i told him i had lied about it and explained why he would leave me alone and maybe gain a little respect for me. i thought about it for a while and i was so desperate to keep him in my life that i was prepared to do anything. i then lied to him and told him i had made it all up which resulted in me having to lie to everyone else and telling then the same.

this has lost me my best friend and all the guys mates i had! i am gutted.

they constantly speak behind my back and they seem to keep dragging me down everytime i try to move on.

losing my best friend is awful i feel that im not the same and im really alone.

i dont know what to do, i sitll have other friends but these were something special the people who would ALWAYS make me smile almost like having a big group of brothers.

anybody help?

[robowarrior]

The essense of the problem is your decision making. For everything that you want in life, there are consequenses attached to it. In the adult world we call this 'responsiblity', we take note of our actions and avoid the negative consequenses because this is the responsible thing to do. You see it might take a girl to get pregnant, but it takes a woman to raise a family. All your decision making and actions displayed immaturity, because you simply 'do' without having thougth very deeply about the possible consequenses of your actions. Taking a baby,getting drunk reclessly , kissing other guys, betraying your bf, you lie, then you are forced to fill up one gap of lies, with another gap of lies. Its like your constantly trying to fill the one bottomless pit of despair your only creating another bottomless pit, or in other words 'lying is useless because it cannot hold any ground in real life' Its a bubble that eventually will pop. Its no wonder you lost all of your friends in this manner.

 

Im currently already treating a woman who is a mental wreck over her last abortion, that was the result of a dysfunctional relationship. I would not like to see you end up like her on the long run.

 

What i want you to do is to.

 

-Bring your life in calmer waters, take a pace back.

-First THINK before you do.

-Be honest to yourself and to others.

-Life is precious to give , and to receive.

 

Forget about your previous group of friends, you pretty much ruined it maby for good. And if you ever see them again, just tell them that you are trying to become a better person.

 

If i where you i would try to re-establish a new group of friends. But personally i don't think your ready for that yet. You first have some serious 'self' reflection to do. In a sense that you will forgive yourself for what happened. And not in a sense that you will blame yourself for what can't be changed anymore.

 

So here is my advice before you make a decision think' carefull , carefull, carefull'