Not yet broken up.. ;(

[Stasiabren]

I posted in this forum because I thought someone here might notice if what I'm about to tell you are signs of an impending break-up.

 

My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for 3 years now, and these past few months have taken a turn for the worst. All of a sudden I believe he's purposely trying to make me jealous. For instance, he jokes about how he would marry Paris Hilton for he money, tries to make me jealous of this maid in his building we have never met named Martha - how? well he wonders what she thinks of his place and what kind of person she thinks he is.. weird, but I just laugh. He also mentioned that a girl from his distant past, who he taught to skate, has emailed him and wants to get together - so he says.

Oh, and he also mentioned, off-handedly that he would like to have a threesome with another girl. I laughed and said no way, and asked how he would like it if I wanted a threesome with another guy... he didn't like that too much.

Now I understand that these things seem small, but over the 3 years we've been together he has never thrown anything in my face like this. I know I'm not a jealous person by nature, but he is making me feel insecure. Is it because he wants to scare me off and break-up with me? Obviously I'm not in the catagory of someone he wants to marry someday right? Is this the beginning of the end?

I love him and this hurts a lot.

 

Stasia

[confused25]

Some people like to say things to make their partners jealous so that they'll feel loved and important. It's a very immature act if you ask me. If I were you, next time he says something like that I'd tell him exactly how you feel. My ex used to joke around with me like that and I told him straight up that it bothered me, so he stopped after that. He assumed that I knew he was joking and didn't know that he was actually hurting my feelings.

[renaissancewoman101]

Is he pulling away from you in any way, ignoring you, standing you up.

 

You should really worry when he starts pulling away from you and blaming you for things.

[Stasiabren]

We have always tried to make time to call each other at least once a week, but I found that it was me who was calling most of time. He doesn't always reply to all my emails either, preferring to answer my questions over the phone.

 

I made a resolution this year to talk to him more often, because I was concerned that we had poor communication. I just saw him for New Years, and while he called me to see if I made it home alright, when I called two days later just to chat he joked that I was taking up all his time, distracting him from reading his book, etc. Now he does come home around 12am most nights because of his job, and I knew that he would be coming home early so I called... I didn't expect him to not appreciate talking to me, even jokingly.

 

So after 3 years together I have now become a time consuming girlfriend, no doubt expensive as well in his mind. I don't think I'm that demanding of his time, we only see each other approx. once a month.

Do you think he will change his mind-set? He doesn't seem like he wants a relationship now that he's got a career.