Regretful Past

[Sess-sama]

My girlfriend and I have had a relationship now for the last 4+ months, and I am having a real problem telling her about my past. I have told her EVERYTHING but my recent past.

 

First let me start off by saying that I was raised a gentleman, that I only date ONE person at a time, for I see dating multiple people a little like cheating. If you want to be with someone date them, not many.

 

I met my girlfriend online and we share a long distance relationship, but I met her last February and our relationship didn't start until later in the year maybe 5 months later. I didn't in that time know that she would even be interested in me in that way, because she wasn't the type that usually went for me. I tended to attract tom boys, and she is a COMPLETE lady. I did however get into a VERY bad situation in the year, and ended up having about 4 sexual partners, not consecutively, but here and there with people I knew. This isn't like me at all, and I feel ashamed of myself for being like that, and haven't forgiven myself. I did this in the time that I knew my current girlfriend (before we started dating) but as soon as I found out from her that she had feelings for me... I found my straight path again... I never cheated on her, and said goodbye to them in one way or another... I still however feel VERY guilty for doing it, because I did like her but never thought she would give me the time of day.

 

I have contemplated telling her about this, because she told me that no matter what it is, that she wants me to tell her the complete truth and even if it hurts her she can deal with it. I have told her that there were things in my past that I am ashamed of, but I did tell her that I didn't feel comfortable telling her what. At the time she accepted this, but now I'M feeling guilty, because I want her to know everything and I fear, that if we do end up being married, that there is a chance she could find out from my friends... I don't know what to do... I understand it would sound better coming from me... but if she found out from my friends... that would still be a LONG time from now, as we don't see each other.

[amtjrtcet]

I don't think this is something you need to tell her. You two weren't together, is absolutely irrelavent to your relationship. Some things are better left in the past. And don't be so hard on yourself. Just learn from your past, don't let history repeat itself.

[birdgirl]

I think honesty in relationships is a must, but revealing skeletons in your closet should not be required. I hope your friends know better than to reveal that kind of information to her. This was all done before her, not during.

[flower99]

has she ever asked how many people you've been with???if so just tell her 4.

there is nothing more that needs to be said. You are a good man that has been faithful to her.

[Siriana]

You are feeling bad over nothing!

You were not even dating!

Relax!

You had sex - great! Now don't mention it because it has no relevance to your current relationship. If asked about how many? just say the number.

So what, you think she'll be horrified you had sex before meeting her if she finds out? Yeah, right! Like she thinks you're a virgin!

You are such a nice guy....really sweet...

[BornToResist]

I never cheated on her, and said goodbye to them in one way or another...

 

There ya go. That's the only thing that should matter in a relationship.

 

You can't change the past.