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I face my ex for the first time tonight

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Well, the band has invited me back. I talked with the two other people in the band (not my ex) last night for a couple of hours. It was good conversation, very candid, but it wasn't really as painful as what I thought it would be. They are sincerely glad to see me come back. My ex wasn't there (tonight is the big night for that and I AM NERVOUS, I HAVE TO ADMIT). She has another boyfriend that she has been seeing (I knew this) and my friends made it plain to me that she was interested in pursuing that relationship, not with me. That stung but I really want the band to continue more than anything right now. I just want to try to be relaxed tonight. I guess she told them she felt very uncomfortable around me when I got down. I'm not pscho and they know that. I know it is next to impossible to try to carry on a conversation with someone that is really depressed. I think more than anything that is what I've been struggling with. I just hope tonight is pleasant and not too painful... Any suggestions?

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Thanks guys! I will try to be myself (not the depressed, one I told my friends last night that now that I've gotten it off my chest then I feel like a weight has been lifted somewhat. I know it will take time. This site really helped me!! I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow...

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Don't know your situation, but in similar situations the thing I should have been told is: make an absolute pledge to yourself that, no matter how you feel at the time, you will not allow yourself to dwell on your ex while with the band. Put all the stuff that might make you sad through your head before hand so you're prepared for it, and tell yourself you can be upset about it later. You don't have to be mister cheery, but make sure you don't dwell on her or all will go downhill fast.


Easier said than done in my experience, good luck!

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Reading your post.... well, the first thing that popped into my head was:


Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks did it successfully.... life is so much bigger than individuals.... we shouldn't let individuals and the changes we experience with them manipulate our life in a way we don't want them too as long as we have the power to rise above.

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