Am I being cruel?

[meantime]

My ex and I have been no contact for a month. I went to therapy to try to break the hold this relationship had on me. I am doing well now. I asked him to only contact in emergencies but he would call, text anyway. I began to realize it would never stop unless I stopped it so I changed my number and I feel so mean. If he did that to me I would feel sick and sad. He called a couple of times (he got my number) but I was strong. Now he has emailed me and he is so sad, he does not understand what is going on. If I make contact I feel I will once again be on a slippery slope. I have been told it is not about him anymore but about what is best for me but I feel so horrible and mean. Should I write and tell him it is me trying to get my life back and it is over or is it more powerful and for the best to leave things alone? He ended the email with I hope you get to where you want to be in life. So it sounds as if he really does get it. I just feel like I am being a jerk. Any feedback would be so appreciated. Thanks.

[luvursmile]

I would email him & tell him exactly what you said here. Tell him you'd rather be alone right now & you wanna get on with your life & he should too.

[dogheadma]

At this point, it's best to do whatever you think is best for you.

 

If that means writing a letter, then keep it very brief and to the point, explaining how you need to move on. Short and simple.

 

If you would feel better just remaining out of contact, then that's perfectly fine too.

 

It really is all about you.

[LittleLion24]

I don't think you should feel like a jerk. You're doing what's best for YOU! If you feel the need to email him back, then do that but I think you're doing fine so why bother.

 

Keep in mind sometimes people (your ex) need to experience this type of break up behavior because it helps them mature (at least that is what we hope it will do). You didn't say in your post who broke up with who but it doesn't matter.

 

Keep being strong.

[JoeWho]

You already asked him to respect your wishes and not contact you. He just ignored your wishes, so how does that make you the jerk? Still I know how you feel bad about it as this was once the person you loved. Best thing for both of you guys is to ignore any contact he attempts to make. Eventually he will stop and start to move on.