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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71


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Day 1 - Had a pretty good day, maintained NC. Had a great conversation with an old friend regarding every thing that has been going on.

 

Been feeling pretty well, actually, considering. I have had a few moments over the past week, but I can count them on one hand, and they haven't been for more than about 5-10 minutes each.

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OK, I'll have a go, but my username says it all.

 

Three days has been my max so far, and it's about 50/50 when it comes to who makes contact first. Yesterday, I had to pay her back some money I owed, then, tonight, she calls because her cat is sick, and I find myself driving to pick up said feline not more than 5 minutes later. ](*,)

 

Still, I'm very good at keeping communications short and sweet and happy, and right now I'm doing good at not appearing needy ... I think.

 

Anyway, cat goes to vet tomorrow and then back to her (she will be out of town; I run an animal-welfare org, where the cat was adopted from - hence the pick-up ... but, yeah, I know ... not really a valid reason, right?)

 

So day 1 will probably be Thursday. I'm off on a two week holiday to Thailand on the 19th, so things should get easier about then.

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Days are def getting better! This NC is helping so much.

 

Still get the "horrors", ie I will never meet anyone again. But i know if my ex husband loved me and my ex did and both wouldn't say a bad word against me then I can't be all bad??? I feel pathetic sometimes lol

 

Bit of a rollercoaster this life! Keep up NC everyone.

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I am now starting superdave no contact. I am already on day 7 but I suppose will have to start at 0 for the purpose of this challenge. I am signing up soliders because my ex tried to contact me today and yesterday. I thinks she wants closure but it may be just a quick hello how are you - which I ignored. I know I habour thoughts of getting her back and don't want to ruin any chance which isn't healthy as I know the purpose of NC is fo ME!!!!

 

Good luck boy Here Goes

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Day 27 (continued)

 

While cleaning out my inbox, I stumbled upon several old emails from my ex. These were written at the peak of the "honeymoon" phase of our relationship and I have to admit they brought back some good memories, but then I saw an email with her pic attached and I immediately snapped out of it and deleted the lot.

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DAY um who cares I lost count

 

I lost count of how long I haven't talked to my ex. It is so fun to be single and flirt with every girl I see. I still think my ex is great and I would date her again if I had the chance, but i'm not going to sit on my ass and wait when the world is out there waiting for me!!!

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Day 3

 

Its weird how slowly the time goes by this time

 

The 1st time I took this challenge, time went so fast maybe Im on holiday now and dont have work to do so I think its longer

 

The same feeling everyday, REGRET, i was so blind to see what was true, what was not...all lies that I believed in...

 

Last night, I had several nightmares, they seemed like a combination of all horror films I have watched...felt so scared and hopeless

 

I doubt if there is the one for me

 

Feel like I want to give up finding the other half, dont wanna offend male friends but I can only see jerks

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One day shy of three weeks. I really want to reach that benchmark too! I think I'll be able to because I'm going to see some friends later tomorrow (well, today, actually) and that should occupy my time.

 

I'm still dreading Friday, it's her birthday and I know the nice guy in me really really wants to text her, but I know I shouldnt!

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DAY 30.

 

still feel like he is the only one i want to be with.

have decided to put off contacting him until

i feel like i could handle whatever 'weird' attitude

he might throw at me... or worst case scenario (someone new)..

i dont need to relive the last thirty days( and four months) all over again

with one stupid call.

 

in the meantime, until that point (or until he phones me),

i am praying for him..and praying that god is

working on his heart bigtime.

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Day 22

 

Played football last night (Won 2-0 so that wore me out and I had a great nights sleep, although i slept through my alarm this morning!! oops.

 

Had a few dreams last night, nothing major but a dream all the same.

 

Still find me winding myself up about stuff. A girl wants to meet me on Saturday night, and another one Friday night. Nice girls as they are, I am not getting excited about it. I am going to meet them anyway and see what happens.

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Still find me winding myself up about stuff. A girl wants to meet me on Saturday night, and another one Friday night. Nice girls as they are, I am not getting excited about it. I am going to meet them anyway and see what happens.

 

 

So you SHOULD. You dont have to sleep with them or anything however it will make you realise that

 

A) Other females find you ATTRACTIVE

 

B) Maybe just maybe you will find that they are better than the ex was anyway.

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Day 2

 

Successfully made it through another day of NC. Did not have a temptation to call at all, or to try to contact her through email or some other passive form.

 

Only thought about her a few times, got a little sad, but no breakdowns!

 

Now, if only those darn Cavs could get it together!

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day 14...or back to square 1 - depends on how you look at it...

 

went for interview for back up to my new business....i asked for £600 they threw £1000 at me!!!....was over the moon...im now the owner,chairperson or whatever of my own company Ahimsa Cosmetics yayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

 

not bad for someone 'who doesnt deserve him or his baby and would never amount to anything and jus lazes around on her ar*e all day in that pit i call a flat' ...c'mon you have to laugh!

 

still...think i broke NC here...went on his faceparty and just read his profile and in my thoughts i wished him well in his job and life and that i hoped we cudda made it etc...kinda a goodbye,closure type thing...i know im gunna be ok after all of this...i have grew as a person and understood the lessons so i thanked him for that, even tho it hurt like hell ive had the chance to become a better person from all of this and i took it...i dont think he took his chance tho - i feel sad at that strange as it may seem.

 

anyway... 3 months split all in all LC/NC mosta that - feel its a landmark

 

take care all x

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okay, here's my compromise... i'm going to send him a bday card next week b/c i'll feel bad if i won't (and previously said i would) but other than that, starting today, i'm not contacting him until at least sept. 12 (when i'll have finished taking my exam and returned from a five week trip) let's hope i can stick to it. maybe by posting here i'll feel more obligated!!!!! augh.. i need to stop caring about this guy!!

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it gets easier.. i've done it for two months before.. it's hard, there's no denying that, but after a while you get used to not having them in your life...i think if you ever do have a "slip up" you'll also see how it hurts so much and that's good reinforcement to keep it going.... one diff, between me and a lot of other people though is i tell my ex if i'm doing it... that way, i don't have to deal with avoiding his emails/calls, and i feel better about being upfront and honest with him. of course, it's diff. for everyone depending on their circumstances, what if anything they hope for in the future with the ex, etc....

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i don't know... i had ups and downs.. like the first week was really hard, the second week was easier, then it got harder again.. i don't think there's any good way to predict it. i think the best thing you can do is find a lot of things to distract yourself with that don't remind you of your ex at all. start listening to a new genre of music, pick up a book on a topic you've always been curious about, try to spend a lot of time w/ friends and NOT talk about the break up... and don't taunt yourself with old emails/pictures/online sites that they're on etc. i think it's best when you just think of it as something you have to do for your own well being... you don't want to feel this crappy forever, right? and NC is the best way you're going to get over it. or at least i keep telling myself that!

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It doesn't work like that dunzo. You can't predict how you will feel in the future because, well, it's the future and you are not a fortune teller. Just live day to day and try to get through each day. It will be hard at first and then one day you will all of a sudden realize that you actually had fun doing something or you didn't think about him for a long time or you didn't obsessively check your email for three whole hours because you were distracted with something else. Those small steps are your progress. Don't think big picture like in terms of weeks and months. In the early stages, think in terms of minutes and hours and what are you going to do to occupy your time right now.

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Living in the present is one of the hardest things for people to do. People always want to know what might happen in the future. But remember, if you don't do this journey, you won't really be able to appreciate any of the good things that will come from it. Think how much you will value your independence and self-worth if you regain it through this hard work - you'll never be willing to lose it for someone else again.

 

Now go to bed!!

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