brazilgirl21 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 parlae - you are stronger than me today!! good luck! Link to comment
parlae Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Its her birthday on wednesday, i'm in the same boat. my ex's birthday is February 6th and what makes it so much worse, he's in town. he wont be back to the navy base until the day after his bday. i dont want him to think im not thinkin of him on his birthday, ya know. someone please help me and wiley Link to comment
turkieblue Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Tossing my chips in on this. NC starting - 2 minutes ago after I looked at her myspace. Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Well its coming up to the end of day 1. Not feeling too bad. Just before I started NC I sent her a long ass email where I got everything off my chest and feel alot better for it. She hasnt tried to contact me, but I dont expect her too. Which makes it easier... As for the people talking about contacting on birthdays...the answer is no. Wiley, your trying to move on so you have no need to contact her as it will just make you feel worse. Stay strong mate. Parlae, I see your doing NC to try and win him back. So surely he'll be expecting some form of contact from you. Not doing so will either get him thinking about you and he'll contact you, or he wont care. In which case hes a lost cause. Doesnt being alone suck? But we wont all be alone forever, even though it feels like we will. Stay strong guys. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I don't know what type of NC is better... when you get everything out of your chest and tell the person how much you love them... or when you tell them how much you want them out of your life for their wrongdoings. I started NC "hating" him... but deep down, I love him and still want him back. Link to comment
parlae Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Parlae, I see your doing NC to try and win him back. So surely he'll be expecting some form of contact from you. Not doing so will either get him thinking about you and he'll contact you, or he wont care. In which case hes a lost cause. Doesnt being alone suck? But we wont all be alone forever, even though it feels like we will. Stay strong guys. i wasnt thinkin of doin anything drastic like buying him a present or even visiting him. just maybe a text message simply saying Happy Birthday, nothing else. do you still think that is too much though? but thanks, TL. you stay strong too. the whole NC thing is hard but we've all get each other to lean on when times get rough, right? Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I think birthdays are a hard time. Depending on what you had with the person, it's too cold not to even text... you know? I remember in my birthday my ex (I dumped first) send me flowers and a beautiful letter. It didn't make me want to get back with him right away, but a couple of months later, all these little gestures really brought me to where I am now - crazy about him and wanting him back so badly! The tables have turned... So if you want them back, yes, do something nice for their birthday, is when we get a free pass. If you want them out of your life forever and you never want a friendship, then ignore the birthday. My advice. Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I started NC "hating" him... but deep down, I love him and still want him back. Same for me. I love her as much as I ever did but hate her at the same time...which is why Im doing the NC thing. As the love will go away, but what shes done wont. i wasnt thinkin of doin anything drastic like buying him a present or even visiting him. just maybe a text message simply saying Happy Birthday, nothing else. do you still think that is too much though? but thanks, TL. you stay strong too. the whole NC thing is hard but we've all get each other to lean on when times get rough, right? Yeh. Its made me feel a bit better reading that others are going through the same sh!t as me. Not that Im glad people are hurting, just that Im not alone. If you want to contact so it appears you dont hate him, I guess something carefully worded like "hope you have a good birthday" might surfice...but it goes agaisnt the NC rule I guess. I wouldnt do it, but Im doing NC for a different reason so its up to you hun. Just keep it short and sweet if you have to. Link to comment
parlae Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 If you want to contact so it appears you dont hate him, I guess something carefully worded like "hope you have a good birthday" might surfice...but it goes agaisnt the NC rule I guess i know, i feel bad about breaking the NC rule. that's another reason why i keep contemplating it, because i really wanna stick to it. by then it will be my 6th day of NC. but i'm still not sure if its a good idea or not. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I'm doing NC because contact was killing both of us. It was either getting back together or NC... he chose NC... LC didn't work for us... I want NC too... we both need it. At first we were going NC "caring deeply" about eachother. Then, he did something on Friday that made me go NC REALLY upset and telling him I don't ever want to see him again. Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Then, he did something on Friday that made me go NC REALLY upset and telling him I don't ever want to see him again. I suppose you could see this as a positive in terms of concentrating on no contact. If my ex hadnt hurt me as much as she did when we broke up, Id probably still be talking to her alot clinging on to the small chances of getting back together. Just try to keep going. You have friends on here who are going through the same and are here to help you Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Due to advices from people here, I had to contact him again to apologize for my childish e-mail this morning. Starting NC AGAIN now. I guess at least it's been the same day. Tomorrow I'm sure I will post about my success of the first day! Link to comment
and again Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Day 10 , so so day bit dodgy at times because of what was going on 3 and 4 weeks ago, no tears bonus, done some weights makes me feel a lot better, knowing that im improving my self on the outside if not to much inside. on the whole 4 out of ten. Ohh feelings about her today , that shes a bit dammaged from her past, and perhaps it wont ever change. Link to comment
turkieblue Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 crap, I just added her as a facebook friend. 3 hours wasn't bad? Ok, Starting over again. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Day 1, yet again. Will definitely keep with NC for 30 days this time (well, unless he contacts me and apologizes for his stupid behavior). Otherwise, Im gone, gone, gone.... It will be hard coz I care about him an awful lot....but Im not willing to be with a guy who is selfish and disrespectful. I blocked him on MSN so I wont be tempted to contact him (and this way he wont see when Im online anymore). Link to comment
parlae Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 good luck to everyone once again! Link to comment
parlae Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 No Contact will be initiated for ONE MONTH from the date that you post. This mean NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER...and I mean NONE. (Including going to picture sites and myspace/or like sites) just so i'm clear on this part, because i'm curious. why is simply viewing the ex's myspace profile breaking a rule of no contact? as long as you dont send them a message, etc. image removed Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Hi Everyone, I just want to say that I went through this NC challenge over a year ago, and like all of you I was in so much pain. I have tried to stay away from this forum recently because I have had problems in my current relationship e.t.c If I could offer any advice to you all, talk it out as much as you can, to anyone caring who will listen, you need too! Bottling it up will do nothing, but manifest and still bug you a year, 2 years later e.t.c... If you look through some of my older posts you will see what a battle I went through, and how much like "nothing" I felt. I wanted to disappear, and suicidal thoughts plagued me. It was SUCH a low point, I wish I could of given me the advice I know now... Too Fiffy - I am pointing you out because I can identify with your story so much. Most people I meet, say I am an attractive girl. Yet, My first ex made me feel so ugly. He told the woman he cheated on me with, that I was no longer a size 6 and that I smell!. Sound familiar? These type of men will say anything just to bring you down. I have looked at your pictures, and you are sooooooo beautiful. I have added you on my msn by the way.. I will be here offering support and advice to all of you, if you need it.. Love GMB, and my thoughts are with you.xxx Link to comment
Webslinger51 Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Day 23 for me. Was feeling better yesterday - did a lot of cardio at the gym yesterday. But today, I'm feeling down. I wonder if she's mad at me for not contacting her on her birthday on January 22nd. Just felt like crying pretty much all day at work. Link to comment
parlae Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 aww webslinger, hang in there. you're on day 23. that says ALOT! keep your head up. and also, just wanna note..i find it sad that so many of us are dealing with this birthday issue. its so confusing and makes NC even harder for that one day. Link to comment
turkieblue Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 just so i'm clear on this part, because i'm curious. why is simply viewing the ex's myspace profile breaking a rule of no contact? as long as you dont send them a message, etc. image removed Because they'll get in your head. Thoughts, feelings, etc, just from seeing their picture, or seeing about their life. on Bday note: I have a CHRISTMAS PRESENT in my car. we broke up 2 weeks ago, almost got back together, and going NC with that thing in there, OMG. HARD. Her Bday is also in ~8 weeks, so... I'm stuck between being friends and giving, or just E-baying it, which I know I should. EUUGH. Link to comment
wiley Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Day 8.... Been having really strong urges to contact her today but i'm gonna be strong and ignore them! Tomorrow (her birthday) is the main cause of this I think! I just wish it was later on in the year. Also i'm worried if she will send me a text thanking me for the card I sent her, and how i'll react when I see her name come up on my phone I should have started this No Contact after we split up, but I left it about a month before I did! Oh well! Its just going so slow.... whilst im happy i've made it to a week now, it has gone incredibly slow! I bet she doesn't even miss me one bit, thats what hurts the most. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Hi All, I just wanted to add some of the articles I wrote a while back that may help keep you all strong.. x Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Day 8.... Been having really strong urges to contact her today but i'm gonna be strong and ignore them! Tomorrow (her birthday) is the main cause of this I think! I just wish it was later on in the year. Also i'm worried if she will send me a text thanking me for the card I sent her, and how i'll react when I see her name come up on my phone I should have started this No Contact after we split up, but I left it about a month before I did! Oh well! Its just going so slow.... whilst im happy i've made it to a week now, it has gone incredibly slow! I bet she doesn't even miss me one bit, thats what hurts the most. Hi Wiley, dont contact her! It really isnt worth it hun. It wont make you feel better either...there will be a time when you will wake up and she wont be the first thing you think of, even thought it may not seem like it now.. Link to comment
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