THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[challenge]

Thanks for the advice babes. I already told her I want to spend my life with her, but it probably bears repeating at least once. I don't trust she would string me along, she's a very caring person. I'll just go with the flow. I hope it isn't too early to start interacting again, I know I'm not completely healed, and I don't have myself back yet, but that will be a slow process for me anyway, as I don't know exactly what I want with my life, other then to spend it with her.

I hope your ex comes to his senses about the debt, but if not, it's his guilt, not yours. You're so much better off.

[onemanband]

Day 12.

 

It's still pretty hard, but I can see the rewards. I started meditating (well, began to learn), but I find myself thinking about her waaaaaaaaay too much.

 

I'm probably going to bump into her on Thursday night, which sucks, but I'll do my best to keep my head up and move forward.

 

Here's to the light at the end of the tunnel.

[txbboy]

The days go by quickly now. Nothing is ever exciting anymore, but nothing is overly depressing. I'm just kind of here I guess. Lately I seem to be falling into a pattern. Every morning I wake up and look at my phone. I check to see if my ex texted or called me while I was asleep. Of course she never does and I get ready for work. When I'm actually working and my mind is busy, I'm fine. When I'm driving in between jobs and listen to the radio, that's when I think about her. I come home from work and get on the internet to see if she emailed me while i was gone. Of course she didn't and I get ready for bed. I get into bed and pray like I do every night. I pray for God to take care of me and my family. And I pray for God to help me and my ex get back together. Then I get up the next morning and start the cycle all over again.

 

Last night was a little different, though. I had a dream about my ex. I dreamt we got back together. It was going good until her dad saw us making out. He tripped out and pulled a gun on me. My ex was screaming while I ran to my parents' house for cover. In real life that would really happen. Still haven't talked to her since that last time I posted.

[dqueen]

I feel like I should respond back and say something...the urge is too strong! I've typed out what I want to say but haven't sent it yet. I keep reading and keep adding more to it. Ugh...

[digitaldiva]

20 days LC

 

He's becoming a ghost to me. I can remember the good times and smile. I can also remember the bad times, but I'm starting resolve both situations. I look at my couch and imagine him there in a good way. Very similar to the way you see someone that is dead.

[babes23]

Dancingqueen, try and resist the urge, he as a new gf and that tells you all you need to know. Yes it may hurt now but in time you'll thank your lucky stars that you walked away when you did!!

 

Day 5 for me. Well it's only the start of day 5. Was watching a programme last night and the couple in it were getting married, it was so romantic and it was obvious that the couple were so in love with one another. That pulled me to my senses, why should i be with someone who wasn't sure of me, why should i be second best to everything. I didn't want that and don't want that now, i want a true love, someone who loves me for me.

 

Still a bit sad but it's better than being with someone who doesn't really want me. Trust me if our ex's wanted us (especially if they're the one who finished the relationship) then they'd be sure to let us know, why "beg" for scraps when we can have the main meal instead .

[Robert013]

Day 12

 

Last night I found a letter that she wrote me about four months before we broke up. It said that she was so in love with me. It said that I deserved better. It said that she would change. It said that I was the best friend that she has ever had. It said that she wanted to be with me forever. It said that she is trying to find a way to repay me for all of the support, encouragement, advise, and motivation that I gave her. It also said that I was the one who brought her back to life when she was ready to give it all up. She said she missed me so much. She said that I will see the changes she was going to make. I never did see them because it never happened.

 

You never know what you had until it is gone. I lost a great person and the women I love because I was to blind to see the good in her. I am crushed.

 

Where did that love and friendship go how can she loose those feelings for me in a matter of months? I think I pushed her away because she never did even attempt to change. I ****ed up. This is mostly my fault for not seeing the warning signs and giving her more support. Now I have to live with and learn from my mistake.

 

She tried to call me last night I ignored it, she did not leave a voicemail. Then about two hours later she sent a text message and all it said was "air mattress?" I think she is starting to get the point. She is trying to reach out to see because she believes now I have really given up, and decided to let her go. It is not about the air mattress.

 

This would be so much easier if she did not have a rebound.

[thedude27]

Robert, honestly what more could you have done? You cant see the future. She choose the path and even after she did you still would have been willing to fix things. You did what you could...sure maybe if you had a time machine or crystal ball you could have done something differently, but given the cirumstances you did what any person could have. Had you known this was in the works you would have tried to stop it, you just didnt know.

 

They still know the love we gave them, they still feel it. Its something they will never really forget no matter how hard they try or who else is in their life. Mine hasnt even tried to call but I have absolutely no doubt that she misses me and still has love for me. She hasnt lost those feelings, she is just burrying them.

[Robert013]

Robert, honestly what more could you have done? You cant see the future. She choose the path and even after she did you still would have been willing to fix things. You did what you could...sure maybe if you had a time machine or crystal ball you could have done something differently, but given the cirumstances you did what any person could have. Had you known this was in the works you would have tried to stop it, you just didnt know.

 

They still know the love we gave them, they still feel it. Its something they will never really forget no matter how hard they try or who else is in their life. Mine hasnt even tried to call but I have absolutely no doubt that she misses me and still has love for me. She hasnt lost those feelings, she is just burrying them.

 

Thanks for your support thedude27. I know there is nothing I could have done if I didn't see it. This is part of the healing process. Feeling the emotions, realizing your part in the breakup, and learning from your mistakes. I haven't been able to do this until I went NC.

 

She just text messaged me again this morning. All it said was "Air mattress?" She really needs to just let me go now. I know she is just reaching out because a cheap air matress that is not even hers is not a reason to keep trying to contact me. If her mother, or brother really needed it they would contact me and ask to borrow it.

[Robert013]

I just decided to drop of the air mattress at her Dads house during my lunch hour because I knew that no one would be there. It is worth geting rid of that so that she will not try to contact me anymore. It still feels weird going there though because I am worried I will see her father, step mother, or her. I did not thank god. Now she has no reason to try to contact me. It should be done with now. She just tried calling me again. I listened to the voicemail and she said "Hello Bob this is . Could you please just call me about the air mattress. I need it to go to Boston." Well she will get it tonight.

 

I am still on day 12 of NC.

 

I am not going to worry about getting it back.

[extraextra]

Day 4 of NC

 

Exiled myself away from social networking sites. Dream about her today. She was all over me and I was crying telling her it was my fault we broke up.

 

Brushed it off in the morning. I hate those kind of dreams. Bunch of bs if you let them get to you.

 

last month she was happy as can be. This month she can't find contentment and happiness or something like that. I decided I don't want to hear things like that.

 

R.I.P ex

[Abbygail]

Day 2 of N.C for me. Ups and downs here and there. I left communication open if he decides he wants to talk to me... so maybe it's NC. I'm just not interested in talking to him due to the way he's been treating me. But I still want to be friends.

 

I have a party to go to tonight and I'm very nervous. I mention this because I have little friends, which is what makes letting go of my ex so hard for me. So I'm trying to get out more but I'm scared it'll just be me standing in a corner not talking to anyone. Hopefully I can get past that tonight.

[babes23]

Go Abby!! I'm a bit uneasy about going out too but i'm going to force myself out Saturday night!! Sometimes we have to push things forward a little to enable us to get that one step closer of moving on xx

[cas]

Day 2 of N.C for me. Ups and downs here and there. I left communication open if he decides he wants to talk to me... so maybe it's NC. I'm just not interested in talking to him due to the way he's been treating me. But I still want to be friends.

 

I have a party to go to tonight and I'm very nervous. I mention this because I have little friends, which is what makes letting go of my ex so hard for me. So I'm trying to get out more but I'm scared it'll just be me standing in a corner not talking to anyone. Hopefully I can get past that tonight.

 

Well, that's entirely up to you. Try to go the party open-minded, instead of expecting the worse, like you are right now. Your attitude is vital. Just because you've failed once at this, doesn't mean that this will be your course of life. Try to talk to people, and always, always, always believe in yourself.

 

I used to be really shy myself, so I know how your feeling! Go to the party, and SMILE! Everything will be okay..

[digitaldiva]

You could create an e-mail filter to forward his messages to the trash can.

[thedude27]

Day 21 of NC

 

Today I'm pretty angry again with after reflecting on the treatment I have gotten. I think I am getting close to the edge of cutting off any feelings or wish to get back with her, have a frienship, or lift a finger for any reason no matter how great her need or little effort on my part.

[Robert013]

Day 21 of NC

 

Today I'm pretty angry again with after reflecting on the treatment I have gotten. I think I am getting close to the edge of cutting off any feelings or wish to get back with her, have a frienship, or lift a finger for any reason no matter how great her need or little effort on my part.

 

Thanks for all the advice by the way. I think it is good that you are ready to let go. I can't wait until I am there. Keep up the good work.

[funkymonkey3]

Day 11 of nc. It's been barely over three months now. I wish so bad that I could go back and have applied nc from the very beginning. I could have saved it. I have to completely let go but it's so hard. I keep hoping she'll reach out for me in some way. She had serious doubts about her decision if she was willing to meet me after the first month. She couldn't even say it was over then. I know I shouldn't ever let her back but I have to admit I love her and I just don't know anymore.

[babes23]

So Day 5 almost over and i'm so glad i'm doing this. If anything i've kept my dignity and self respect to a man who never deserved me anyway.

 

x

[cmsajon1]

Day 11 of nc. It's been barely over three months now. I wish so bad that I could go back and have applied nc from the very beginning. I could have saved it. I have to completely let go but it's so hard. I keep hoping she'll reach out for me in some way. She had serious doubts about her decision if she was willing to meet me after the first month. She couldn't even say it was over then. I know I shouldn't ever let her back but I have to admit I love her and I just don't know anymore.

 

As opposed to doing NC from the start, what did you do? Did you attempt at staying friends?

[Robert013]

Back to day 1 was on 12

 

She showed up at my house unanounced. When my son was supposed to get dropped off. She knew I had to be there. I had no choice. i will tell all tomarrow

[Abbygail]

Day 2 for me. Almost, almost talked to my ex because he's studying to be an accountant and I needed financial advice. Then I thought... Do I really want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I'm in trouble, knowing he'll most likely look down on and/or make a jab at me?

 

So I didn't contact him and did the research myself.

[funkymonkey3]

No, I went nuts sending e-mails trying to get a response out of her. Ended up pushing her until we met up a month after the break up. I even had a chance then but I screwed it up. It's got to be too late now. We haven't even seen eachother for two months. I feel like such an idiot. I need to let go... She's gone.

[kevin456]

Day 25

 

Today was the first day since I started this that I really considered contacting her. But I know that would only set back my healing and make me feel worse than I already do. I will contact her at some point, but I am not ready yet. It will probably be a while. I am proud of myself for my progress so far.

[babes23]

Day 6 for me today.

 

Woke this morning with a anxious feeling, actually i seem to get this most mornings, is this normal? Does anyone else get it?

 

It's still hard but this is what needs to be done, i wasn't prepared to keep on wasting my time and effort on someone who didn't really take much notice of it, if i would've continued with that i would've ended up even more unhappy than i am now.

 

Think coming on here letting it all out, writing down my feelings/thoughts really helps too. I wouldn't wish anyone to be in this position but knowing others are going through the exact same thing, it really helps to show the support to one another etc knowing that you're not the only one in this position.