brian123 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Day 28 of NC. I have a bunch of minor things of hers that I have found in my house since she moved her stuff out. Should I just give the bag to one of our mutual friends and tell him to tell her he has her stuff, or would it be wrong if I just sent her an email saying "our friend xxx has your stuff. Hope all is well and take care." See for our reasons for BU Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Maybe text her to ask if she wants to collect them? Link to comment
brian123 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I could text her, but I feel like I am doing this mostly as a reason to initiate contact. IDK what I should do Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Yeah maybe but she might not appreciate you just giving her stuff to a friend. You could leave it a little longer and then text about her things when you feel ready to? Link to comment
brian123 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Yea, I think I will wait until after my bday in a few weeks (see if she initiates contact 1st) If she doesn't, Ill send her the quick note about her stuff (None of it is really that important, random clothes, vitamins, extra set of car keys etc.....) Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Yesterday was day 19....seems like forever. It was a pretty good day. I crashed pretty early Saturday night and got a decent night's sleep. I just hung out in the AM, caught up on some reading, played the PS3. I went to a baseball game in the afternoon. Except for getting dehydrated and the home team losing, I had fun, even though it was just me. The ex wasn't into sports, so she wouldn't have gone anyway, and this time I wasn't worried about "Oh, I have to get back home to spend time with her." I set up bird feeders this weekend, and the back yard is filled with songbirds (and pigeons) now, and my cats are on the prowl. As I read more about BPD, its clear to me that my ex suffers from this, and I want to learn how to cope with it more, if that's possible. I believe that slimeball won't do this sort of work, and she'll figure that out eventually. Even if we don't get back together, I'd want to support her as a friend. Kind of a bit bummed at the second. Matt Lauer is in Buenos Aires right now. We were there on our cruise (the one right after she asked for the divorce) and in some ways it was the highlight of the cruise, and I want to go back...I want to go back with her, though (assuming she'd want to go, too...lol...I'm not dragging her). Link to comment
HNR Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I have accepted the NC challenge! I am on day 13 and I'm struggling! I desperately want to talk to him! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 It has now been 10 years of NC...I wonder if he's ever coming back????? Kidding!! But it feels like it! Link to comment
hfc65 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Day 4 No word from her Just gonna give up and cut my losses Link to comment
HNR Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Hi, I'm new to this forum. Do dumpees who live close to each other ever meet up to give each other moral support, help each other not to break NC and cheer themselves up?! I'm boring people I know with details of my break up and I just wonder if there are local support networks?! Link to comment
Hope_Springs_Eternal Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 It has now been 10 years of NC...I wonder if he's ever coming back????? Kidding!! But it feels like it! lol @ this! shouldnt laugh but I'll bet there are people who still think theres a chance of it after 10 years most of them are locked in secure units though for their own mental health! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I was laughing at myself when I wrote that! I often laugh at myself! LOL Sick!! lmao Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Day 29. I told myself 30 days to start. I am having serious anxiety right now... I don't know why. Last night I was on another thread that spoke of severe separation anxiety and likened it to a toddler screaming for mommy as she dropped her baby off at daycare. That's EXACTLY how I've felt every SINGLE time he walked away--even if we'd just spent the night together. I don't know WHY or HOW this happened. It's weird. Anyway, right now the anxiety is overwhelming and I just hope I can make it to bed soon. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Day 4 No word from her Just gonna give up and cut my losses IMO, 4 days is nothing...it could be weeks before you hear anything. I've seen threads in here where people don't hear from an ex for months. I have a friend who dumped her hubby, didn't talk to him for 2 years before she realized she had been an ass (her words, not mine) and they started talking and are now business partners and maybe more (she refused to reveal all the juicy details, which pretty much tells me there are lots of juicy details). Link to comment
hfc65 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 IMO, 4 days is nothing...it could be weeks before you hear anything. I've seen threads in here where people don't hear from an ex for months. I have a friend who dumped her hubby, didn't talk to him for 2 years before she realized she had been an ass (her words, not mine) and they started talking and are now business partners and maybe more (she refused to reveal all the juicy details, which pretty much tells me there are lots of juicy details). I already went 34 days until I broke contact with her Thursday. I texted her a friendly hi and she responded in kind. I then emailed her that I want to remain friends which she said she wanted to be at the breakup. Waited 4 days for a reply to the email. Link to comment
theredrocket Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 day 7 38 days to go really big day today. there were two huge issues in my life which I had neglected to deal with and which were causing a lot of stress and fighting in the relationship. I fixed both of them today with great results! I feel happy about this but also sad that I was such a dolt and potentially let things within my power to fix wreck a relationship that meant a lot to me. on the other hand I am thinking about extending the NC much further than 45 days. I had dinner with her roommate last night and she basically said I shouldn't until I have no more romantic feelings towards her, I got the feeling she was warning me that I should be prepared. I think I would rather not know. anyways I made it a week! Link to comment
DieTeufelKatze Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Day 2, before that I had gone 6 days NC. I did NC for 6 months with previous ex, this time it's much easier for me since I know how to handle it. This is going to be reeeeeallly hard though, this much I know. I seem to go about one week before breaking down. I work with the previous ex, and the most recent ex is at my work on occasion too. I'm trying to stay strong. Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Day 2, before that I had gone 6 days NC. I did NC for 6 months with previous ex, this time it's much easier for me since I know how to handle it. This is going to be reeeeeallly hard though, this much I know. I seem to go about one week before breaking down. I work with the previous ex, and the most recent ex is at my work on occasion too. I'm trying to stay strong. I hear that! It IS hard to maintain a workinig relationship and go NC. Especially when you SEE him... I always made it a week, that was no prob b/c I would get busy in work and stuff. Two weeks was my mark. This time, he contacted ME after 2 weeks. It's been 29 days... 2 xanax have helped me settle down the anxiety... Just have to make it ONE MORE! YAHOO! Link to comment
HNR Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Hi, I'm new to this forum. Do dumpees who live close to each other ever meet up to give each other moral support, help each other not to break NC and cheer themselves up?! I'm boring people I know with details of my break up and I just wonder if there are local support networks?! I take it that's a "no", then Enotalone? I feel lonelier than ever! Link to comment
wyrllish Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I take it that's a "no", then Enotalone? I feel lonelier than ever! Haven't heard anything about people meeting up or any currently existing network readily available. I'm sure many others would be interested in such an idea though Oh and please don't think anyone is bored/annoyed of hearing about your break up. I know when I was at my worst I always felt better after reading about other peoples experiences. Haha that could be interpreted wrong but I mean it's nice to know others are going through what you are and how they deal with everything. Many will throw out advice here or a shoulder if you need it Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Day 20 - Wow...2/3 of the way through. In some ways it seems to have flown by, in some ways its crawled. I know that my growth, I know that her relationship with the new bf falling apart, I know that me finding a new relationship, I know that me being totally healed will all take months...in that regard 20 days seems an eternity. On the other hand, its hard to believe I haven't seen or talked to her in almost 3 weeks. Overall, a good day. It was nice to get the tax return (even though we owe a bunch of money) so I can get that filed, and her note with it was very nice, too. I also realized that the note was written several days before the e-mail she sent me over the weekend. The e-mail pretty much recapped the note, more indication that she misses me. However, she can miss me all she wants. As long as she's with him, I'm not interested and I'm not interfering. I fired an employee today. She's a nice lady and she's been a friend to me during my divorce, and she makes my ex look like the most confident woman in the world. This woman used to hold a political office, and now she can barely make it through the day. I wish we could have found a way for her to work out, and right now she is costing the firm money, and that impacts more than just her. It was a tough decision, and the right one. Thankfully, I have a business partner who is much better at firing than I am. He just basically listened to what she had to say and said "That's fine. You're fired." I don't think I've ever been able to let someone go without attempting to make it gentle. His way might be better. I attempted to call one of the women I met at the mixer last week, the voice mail system her work used was screwy, and I didn't get through. I'll give it a shot again tomorrow. I think I'm going to call the other one, too, even though I was less interested in her. Hey, I might get a date out of it, and at worst she says "no." That's not the end of the world. I'll have my talk with the ex tonight before I sleep, other than that I'm going to call it an early night. I miss her, though. I'm not sure when I'm breaking NC. It might be after 30 days, it might be longer (well, I kind of have to break it to send her an alimony check, and that's about it). I want to talk to her, and at the same time, I'm kind of afraid that it will shoot up my stress levels. I dunno, its not a decision I have to make right now. Link to comment
bronte Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Round 2, Day #6...I'm missing him as a friend today, things are crazy with finals and work and my friends and he used to be my person to vent to (just as I was his person). He was great at listening and making me feel better about things. On days like this it's hard to remember that even a short conversation with him would do a lot more harm than good! *sigh* Link to comment
MeSilly Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Day 14 April 28. It's now 5 yrs since her little brother died in a horrible accident. I know this is a hard day for her. I wonder what she was up to; I thought of her all they long, wishing it could be like old times when I would comfort her. Then again, last year she told me she'd rather spend the day alone with her thoughts, so I dunno. I just know that I hope with all my heart that she's alright, that she DOES have someone to comfort her, even if that someone can't be me. I dunno if y'all can understand: it kills me to think of her with someone else, someone sleeping on my side of her bed, someone hearing the words that were once mine, smelling her, touching her, etc.. Drives me nuts to think about that, but I know it's most likely already happening. At the same time, I hope that on days like today she has someone at her side to comfort and love her, and whom she loves back. She didn't want me with her last year on this date; I hope with all my heart that now she's with someone whom she wants and needs comfort and strength from. I love her, so I want her to be happy... even as much as that messes me up. Link to comment
theredrocket Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 day 8, 37 days to go Feeling good today Link to comment
Brokenhearted87 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Jesus........day 2 of about the billionth round!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
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