Need help on what to do...

[loser13]

First I'd like you all to know that I'm in High School, so you're probably all thinking I'm too young to understand love or too young to be in relationships, but deal with it please

 

I've been with this girl for 6 months today. I really like her but sometimes it is just difficult. She is a little different and has had some problems in the past. Her Father died when she was young and since then her family and internal issues have run rampant. She went through phases of cutting herself and was bisexual for a while. She was caught taking drugs once in school and was almost suspended as well. I try not to hold these things against her because they are all in her past. And quite frankly because her Dad died when she was young, I feel like I'm making fun of a kid in a wheelchair for sucking at kickball.

 

We met a few years ago and were good friends from the start. Eventually it developed into more. She claims to love me, even though we're in High School and too young for that, she still swears it. She's always saying things like I'm the perfect guy and she's never met anyone like me. I doubt she would ever break up with me because of the things she says and honestly I could walk all over her and she wouldn't mind. She's the perfect type to take advantage of because she's very sexual and very rich, but I definitely don't do that.

 

The point is, I'm bored. I like other people, but can't help and think I'd miss her too much. I have a lot with her, and we're very close, while other times I wish we had never gone out.

 

How do I break it off with someone who likes me this much? And should I even break it off?

 

Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks guys.

[loser13]

The main issue is her feelings, then mine. I'm not sure how she would react after something like this and I want to know if I would be doing the right thing, and how to go about doing it.

[Agathon]

Oh MAN! Do you have a problem.

 

Ok, well... my GF was involved with the self infliction, unhealthy relationships, tried drugs ONCE, she was almost 'date-raped' (look it up) and I'm sure she's becoming bisexual or lesbian... not sure what that says about me.

 

Just telling you this so we have somewhat of the same grounds.

 

The problem IMO: Mental maturity and live experiences. I.e. Growth.

 

Sounds like she has several years on you in terms of experiences with life and has grown more as a person then you. I don't say that to be rude, it's just true. Same thing in my case.

 

Ok, now that I'm done making assumptions...

 

Are you bored because you want to experience more?

Is she too clingy?

Is her past too hard to take?

 

If at all possible bring up some of your concerns. It very well might put yor relationship on the rocks and unless your careful could destroy it.

 

Discuss the future (scary and unhealthy subject)? but helps sometimes.

 

Big one: Do you respect each other? I'm still a virgin so I'm not qualified to talk about this but here it goes:

 

If your both very sexual, or even just her, chances are you get into it. Do you feel as if you take her for granted, vice-versa, or both? Cause that needs to be addressed ASAP.

 

If I'm right at all, take what you can. If I'm wrong, pretend you didn't read this.

[loser13]

She's not clingy. She puts everyone else before her to the point where it's annoying. She can't make a decision, about anything. Honestly I played deal or no deal with her and she went in order from 1-26 because she just can't make decisions. Her past isn't hard to take it's just somewhat of a handicap. I'm bored because I like other people and would like to try a relationship out with them. I'm also a virgin and that's very important to me. It's important to her, too, but we do everything else. Mainly because she wants to. She's always in the mood and I honestly had to tell her to stop last time because I just don't want that stuff all the time. She got mad...

 

I think I take her for granted. Like if I did break up with her, I'd regret it, but I'm not sure.

[Momene]

Firstly, I don't think you are too young to be in love at high school. The only red flag is that over the next 10 years you both and the world around you will change so much that it's unlikely that you will end up together. Think about what you would like from an "ideal" relationship. Cross anything off the list that is clearly unrealistic. Now compare the list with how you feel about her. If it isn't anywhere near what you'd like, it's best to split. If there's some room for improvement, thing about what YOU can do to make the improvements before making suggestions to her.

 

Liking other people and the urge to "try them out" is almost a lifelong problem as there is usually someone (or "somemany") who may superfically appear more attractive than the one you're with. If you know someone who you HONESTLY think is more attractive and more suitable, then break it off before pursuing them. Mostly, changing partners for the sake of a change due to boredom rarely works.