Newo Ikkin Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 Doesnt her behaviour tell you that there's something fishy going on? How are you feeling in yourself? (we tend to neglect this question) Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 she called me and I told her the situation that she's in with my closest friends, since I'm with her and then she hung up on me It sounds like you want attention to complain about her treatment of you but you are unwilling to do anything about the treatment of her kids that you have seen firsthand. I hope I am misinterpreting. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 Musicguy - This girl had her first child at what 17? She sounds like mentally, she's stuck at a younger age. I'm assuming, from what you have told, that she is not only bipolar but having difficulty adjusting to being a single, teenage parent. She needs intense counseling. It sounds like she not such a good, productive, positive person. Sounds like she is looking for relief from her parenting responsibilities and you have given that to her. She's used you as a babysitter and is now acting like you are irrationally jealous. She sounds like she's an absolute mess! Yes, it'd be great if you could get her to settle down, understand values, morals, etc. It'd be great if you could enable her to be a good mother. Doesn't sound like that will happen. Look at it this way. You like her and want to save the day. I'm sure you're feeling somewhat obligated to help her for the sake of her children. But, you are not a counselor. If she doesn't change or even if she does, how much are you going to respect her down the line? If you stay in their life, the children will be severely impacted if you get tired of trying to "fix" her and walk out. It just sounds like a load that you are taking on impulsively. And about her smoking pot in the bathroom. Really makes me MAD. Children deserve so much more than that! Does she have family????? Link to comment
musicguy Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 she broke up with me today, it's over, she still loves her ex-bf Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 she broke up with me today, it's over, she still loves her ex-bf Consider yourself a lucky man and that this woman was willing to have you move in with her kids just a few days ago knowing that she wasn't committed. Link to comment
musicguy Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 I'm depressed and suicidal now Link to comment
forza2 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I'm depressed and suicidal now C'mon man. Things seem bad, but dont worry you'll be fine. You're better off w/o her. I'm happy for you that you dont have to deal w/her any more Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I'm depressed and suicidal now Oi oi OI, hang on in there dude. You may not see it now, but you are SO much better off. I don't wanna have to slap you up for doing something stupid. Link to comment
musicguy Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 I hate getting hurt every single time Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 There WILL come a brighter day. Man, you're STILL so young! Link to comment
Siriana Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I hate getting hurt every single time I bet you do. Do you have an idea how to avoid that next time? Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 musicguy - Of course this hurts. But I think you should dig deep within your soul to determine if this girl is really someone you even wanted to be with. I'm wondering if you just have a deep yearning for acceptance and to be in a relationship. This girl was bad news and you were willing to accept her. I know it's hard now but count your lucky stars, build your confidence, and find someone that will be better to you and to herself. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I agree. The only reason you get rejected are because - dating involves rejection so if you don't want to risk that, don't date and because you chose to get involved with a train wreck, you knew that and yet you decided to play with fire. Playing the passive victim game will be unproductive as far as helping you grow. Link to comment
musicguy Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 I bet you do. Do you have an idea how to avoid that next time? nope...except for killing myself Link to comment
Siriana Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Well we wrote you a lot here, so I was hoping you'll go through our answers once again to try to determine what could you learn from this experience. I think this idea you wrote is not the best one. You're smart guy so I am hoping you'll get a better one. Looking forward to your answer. Link to comment
Siriana Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Want help in finding out where you went wrong? Link to comment
musicguy Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 Want help in finding out where you went wrong? sure, that would be good Link to comment
Siriana Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 I was sick for the past two days, sorry for not responding earlier. My temperature was way too high. Let's say it this way: you're driving a car and you are approaching a crossroad. At that moment the red lights go on, and you have that sound signal that tells you how a train is going to be there soon driving pretty fast. So if you decide not to stop on the red light the train is going to hit you, smash the car and hurt you pretty bad. Now what would be a smart thing to do in this case? Continued driving or stop at the red light patiently waiting for the train to pass? Link to comment
musicguy Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 Umm stoping would be the smart thing to do Link to comment
Siriana Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Yeah it would. You're right. So could you rewrite your own situation with this girl and use the story with a train as a metaphor? Let's start together: You are driving a car and you see red light. You're not shure if you see red light and hear the signal of approaching train so you check up here on Ena. We tell you: "yeah, it's red light and the train is driving really fast." So you say to yourself: "yeah, I figured that out" Now what has happened than? What did you choose to do? 1. Stop at the red light 2. or go ahead hoping that train is not going so fast and that it woan't hit you. Be honest. Link to comment
musicguy Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 it's over now, so it doesn't matter anymore Link to comment
Siriana Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Yes it does. It matters. Why? you need to learn from your experience. Link to comment
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