Rebounds?

[Mrsympathy]

I was wondering what everyone else thought about this.I was married for 9.5 yrs together for 13yrs.We got divorced it only took a month and she was dating a guy pretty much right after the ink was dry so maybe a month and a half all together.Had my daughter meeting him and everything,they are still together 8 months later is this still considered a rebound or have they made it through the initial getting over phase.I think but am not sure they were seeing each other before the divorce alot of signs anyway,but she denies it.Is it normal for people to move on this quickly?There was no physical abuse,or drugs and alcohol.I felt like we had a pretty good marriage I had my faults like anyone else but nothing really major to deserve not trying or moving on so quickly.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Some rebounds can last for a long time. Some people may even marry their rebounds. But, at a certain point in time, the feelings eventually come out and the truth about the relationship is revealed to both people.

[Mrsympathy]

That is what everyone says,she says she tried with us and I made her do what she did.Filing and finalizing the divorce within a month with a child involved.Its really hard for me to grasp why it all happened and struggle with it everyday,she seems fine and has since day one seemed like it didnt bother her.She put all this blame on me then has since said those werent the reasons.I just have alot of hurt and anger.

[zerohalo]

When is it no longer a rebound? Is the first person you date after a divorce always considered a rebound?

[Jeff777]

no longer a rebound when you don't need that new person to fulfill your happiness.

 

 

That's it. We can be our own SELVES without having to HAVE someone to make us feel OK.

 

I know I need to get OUT of myself a little more and give a little more.

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

Man this is an important thread for me. I decided that I wanted to take time off from the dating scene so that I could "get to know myself again", but all I've been thinking about is how much I miss having someone to hold on to and you know, do stuff. Been separated for over four months, I'm technically still married even though my wife moved to another city in another province and we haven't had any contact since the split.

 

I don't want to have someone be my crutch to make me feel happy. I want to look at my life and myself and be at perfect peace and ease. But still I have those damn moments where I look at the other half and wonder if they're right.

[zerohalo]

Man this is an important thread for me. I decided that I wanted to take time off from the dating scene so that I could "get to know myself again", but all I've been thinking about is how much I miss having someone to hold on to and you know, do stuff. Been separated for over four months, I'm technically still married even though my wife moved to another city in another province and we haven't had any contact since the split.

 

I don't want to have someone be my crutch to make me feel happy. I want to look at my life and myself and be at perfect peace and ease. But still I have those damn moments where I look at the other half and wonder if they're right.

I know what you mean. I've been separated for 3 months and just recently we decided to make it legal and divorce. I know I have issues after all of this, yet I can't stop thinking about women. I feel like a jerk because of it.

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

I know what you mean. I've been separated for 3 months and just recently we decided to make it legal and divorce. I know I have issues after all of this, yet I can't stop thinking about women. I feel like a jerk because of it.

 

My friend it looks like we're in the same boat together. If I come to any epiphanies or realizations on how to make this easier, I'll PM you. You can do the same for me.

[strength2007]

Just to respond that even the females long for the same. As far as my marriage, Sleeping in separate bedrooms since last March, He moved out Nov. and know I long for that physical contact, but know in my soul, it is not time. Men have asked me out, but I am technically still married, even after the divorce, I wonder if I will be ever ready. It's weird, I know we are physical and social beings, and I am definitely missing it, but have no energy or desire to flirt or make an effort. Will it ever return, am I just still healing?

I have to laugh, I always ask my girlfriend (that has been my rock through all of this) if she will "spoon me," she just rolls her eyes and punches my arm.

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

I know exactly what you mean. Having someone to share a bed with for six years had me trained to stay to one side of the bed all the time. Even now, I sleep on the edge of my bed even though there is no one there with me. Damn I miss that.

 

None of my friends will spoon with me either

 

 

 

 

 

come to think of it, I'm not sure if I'd want to spoon with one of my friends....

[beerman]

I will join in on this conversation. I am getting ready to file divorce papers today and my ex-to-be are still living in the same house. As you can imagine, we both go about our business without much regard for each other except when it comes to the kids.

 

I am really wrestling with the whole dating thing. Part of me wants to get out there and meet new people and another part of me wants to curl up in the corner and wait until the pain heals. I am longing for female companionship and know I need to wait until things settle down a bit.