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Recently, I caught myself enjoying myself with slight pride whenever other people barrage me with praise and compliments for numerous traits of my personality and skills that I have.


I'm saying numerous because I can't really downplay what I experience. They make me feel really important sometimes... and I think this is pride.


In the beginning, it was nice, but then I started being guilty whenever someone pays me a compliment.


I think that the reason is that whenever I feel such pride (if it is really pride), I feel accomplished. But in my mind I know that in fact I'm not accomplished at all. That there are still so many things to learn about the world and I'm just an ant compared to it...


Why is my heart seduced by the flattery of other people's words?


As a consequence of this guiltiness, I instinctively start disliking what other people appreciate about me.

Maybe because I don't want my personality traits and skills to depend on what others think about them.


I know I have some talents that others don't have, but I like them because I like them, not because others don't have them or because I get many "fans".


On the one hand I would like to downplay myself and hide my positive skills for the sake of being normal and down to earth with other normal people, but on the other hand I don't want to loose my interests...


How can I keep developing my talents (and other things everyone likes about me) without getting proud about myself?

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No matter how much you get compliments, your skills and abilities will never depend on what others think of them. They are a product of your own work.


Enjoying them and being pleased that others enjoy them isn't pride, it's accepting your skills. Don't bury your talents...


If you start to feel that you are better than other people and that they should praise you and put you above them, that's pride though, but I think that as long as you watch yourself for it, you can keep pride out of yourself.

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I think accepting positive criticism is healthy, keep in mind that it's very easily to a compliment to constructive suggestion


ex-"Thanks, but wouldn't this be better if...."


And as a general rule if you're the type of person who is concerned about pride, it's easy to stay humble.

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When I said that I don't want my skills to depend on what others think about me, I meant that I don't want to be good at something for the sake of getting praised for it.


However, ever since I started getting so many compliments (as you can imagine, there has been a shift in my life: university, totally new environment; before that I wasn't used to so much praise and respect) I'm sometimes not sure whether I'm doing something I'm good at just to show off and feel important, or whether I'm actually doing it because I have a purpose.


And this uncertainty puts me into conflict.



A question: Do you know the feeling when people younger than you talk about you with admiration? About your personality, your experiences, or other things they are interested in?

I mean, when it's kids, it's okay... but when it's done by people of your same age...

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  • 3 months later...

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