So, the girl I was dating is now "seriously dating" someone else

[darkspark]

I met this girl through a friend of mine and we dated about 3 times. It was going well for a few weeks. But then one weekend, she said she was too busy to go out until Sunday, but I had something to do on Sunday, so we didn't see each other at all that weekend. She said she would call me at the beginning of the week, but by Monday night, I hadn't heard from her. So, I called her, and got her voicemail. I left her a voice message on Tuesday, but still hadn't heard back from her. On Thursday, I PM'ed her through Facebook, and she responded almost immediately, saying that she was sorry for not calling me back and said she would on Friday. In the late afternoon on Friday, she text messaged me asking what was up. Since, I had finals that day, on Saturday, and on Monday, going out was out of the question. So, after a few messages, we made plans to meet on Monday. We talked for a bit, and hugged as I left her dorm. That was the 18th of December. I didn't get a chance to call her back until Christmas day, a week later, but she didn't pick up. The following Thursday, I tried again. That night, sent her another PM on Facebook. She responded tonight, saying that she is "seriously dating" another guy from her hometown but still thinks I'm a "good guy" and wants to "hang out."

 

This is the second girl I've dated, and I will admit, although I was depressed when I broke up with my first girlfriend, I am almost not depressed at all about this one.

 

Now, I would consider this a mild form of cheating. We never established that we were in a relationship, so I can't truly call it cheating. However, I am disappointed that she didn't at least break things off with me before going with another guy. However, I realized that she was with another guy when she changed her Facebook profile relationship status from "Single" to "In a relationship" without talking with me in a week. So, I'm not surprised.

 

Currently, what I need advice on is what to do next. Right now, I'm considering not responding to her message at all and never contacting her again. I think it is too soon to make any rash decisions, like calling her any number of names.

[Caldus]

It's over. She's obviously interested in someone else. When girls lose romantic interest in you and gain interest in someone else, it's almost like they don't even think about you at all. They are in another person's world. So they will barely even call you let alone hang out with you anymore. At least that has been my experience.

 

And if it was just dating, then she had every right to see other guys if she wanted to. That is not cheating at all. She is in the wrong though for not being forward about it right up front with you. Most girls have this problem because they are afraid of telling the guy that they are basically rejecting him.

 

If I were you, I would just move on. You don't seem too depressed about it, so that's a good thing. Means that it will be easier for you to move on.

[DropToZero]

There's no cheating going on...you two weren't in a defined relationship...date whoever you want to too. Never get set on one girl until you're sure you're even ready for a relationship and she is too. But like I said, it wasn't cheating, she doesn't have to break it off with you first, she just did now...when she did enter another relationship. As for hanging out...and what you're asking to do, I say no...move on, keep dating others. If they ever break up she may date you again, but sure as hell don't sit around and wait. Good luck!

[vermilion]

That sucks man, but really, you two were just dating. You weren't bf/gf so it wasn't cheating. You know, you can do the same thiong- go out with more than one girl at a time. Try not to put too much time into one person as it can easily fall apart, as you've seen.

 

I think you can at least respond, "Hey that's cool. But you really could have told me that sooner." And then there's no reason to stay in contact with her.

 

I think it's rude that she kept on saying she'll call you days later and didn't. It's not right to string you along for weeks. But other than that, you don't really have any reason to be upset at her.