I need support! I almost called him!

[whatsagirltodo]

Please post and tell me not to call my exboyfriend. He was a jerk and I swore up and down that I would NOT call him. I'm home alone on a Friday night...

 

The urge to call him just creeped up on me - the only thing that stopped me was that he lives with his parents and I also swore to his parents that I wasn't going to call him - There's a 98% chance that they'd answer the phone and I didn't want to explain why I was calling him......

 

So I was about to cry, I went and took a shower thinking I'd go and drive past his work to see if he was working and then if wasn't decide if i should call him or not - i was hoping in that time frame I would come to my senses.

 

I took a shower and cried and realized that I CAN'T call him - i went back to my idea of emailing him but I realized, i don't really have anything to say to him. I just miss him sooooo much - but I sooo don't want him to know that.

 

Now the feeling is subsiding, and I'm going to go read - but I have a feeling that this won't be the only time this is going to happen tonight - or all weekend...

 

...and no, i don't really have anyone in my life that I can count on at a time like this.

 

So please, remind me why I shouldn't call him...

 

 

 

Old threads:

 

 

 

[whatsagirltodo]

...I was just reading through my old threads...that helped me realize just how much crap i was putting myself through because of him...

 

I'm once again relieved that I don't have to deal with him and his issues - but I'm sure that feeling of missing him will come back oh-too-soon.

[LittleLion24]

Whatever you do do NOT drive by his work because then that is stalker-like behavior, and you don't want to act like that.

 

Take your cell phone and put it in the trunk of your car...that way it won't be tempting you to want to call him. Leave it there until morning.

 

Then go out and rent "Someone Like You," pop some popcorn, get in your PJs and relax. You need to do whatever to get your mind off him and focused on something else. When you return from the video store don't take your cell phone into the house. Leave it in the car.

 

Watch a girly movie and get a good cry out. You'll feel better.

[elithepi]

I know how you feel...the weekend and new years....new years would have been 2 years since first kiss...I was dumped 4 weeks ago today...it sucks. Hang in there and don't call or email...make him wonder about you. Make him fight the urge to call YOU.

Like you said...

" i went back to my idea of emailing him but I realized, i don't really have anything to say to him."

 

Stay strong and you will be happy you did.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Good for you to resist the temptation to call. Keep a list handy of all the rotten things he did to you. Whenever you start getting misty-eyed and feel the temptation to call, read that list. You are too young to remember this song but it really did help me: Linda Ronstadt sang a song called "you're no good"

 

Feeling better now that we're through

Feeling better 'cause I'm over you

I learned my lesson, it left a scar

Now I see how you really are

 

You're no good

You're no good

You're no good

Baby you're no good

 

I'm gonna say it again

You're no good

You're no good

You're no good

Baby you're no good

[belinda_simone]

I totally know the feeling of wanting to call.. but you really have to see that by not calling, you can be 100% positive that he is thinking about you and wondering what you are doing and why the hell you're not breaking and calling...!! It's about power!! and PRIDE! YOU keep the power and your pride by not calling.. So simple and yet so hard.. i know.

 

i feel sick when i think of my ex of 2 months on holiday in thailand with a girl he met 2 days after I broke up with HIM! I didn't want him anyway and i still feel sick about him being with this girl (rebound).. he's been sending me photos of THEM.. can you believe this looser?? Still.. i AM heart broken and want to call and want to be missed etc.. What's wrong with us!!?? lol

 

Just stay strong..

god bless. x

[Crazyaboutdogs]

he's been sending me photos of THEM.. can you believe this looser?? Still.. i AM heart broken and want to call and want to be missed etc..

 

He is on vacation with his new girlfriend but sending you photos of them...Rest assured he misses you. If he didn't miss you, he would be so into his new girlfriend he wouldn't even have time to think about sending you photos of the two of them!

[blender]

Whatsagirltodo and Princess, there is NO good reason to contact him, none.

 

Remember that you are going to have these "desperate feelings of wanting to contact" and if you choose to "act on them" and make contact, you might alleviate that "desperate feeling" BUT it will only be just for the "moment" and then you'll be spiraling back down into a worse feeling afterwards, trust this, HE is not the holder of your key to happiness, do not go to a dry well for water only to leave more thirsty...ugh.. do NOT contact him, one more day, one day at a time....

 

So for tomorrow, when you first wake, feel empowered by your show of self respect and your courage to NOT contact him...

 

you will find in time that those "desperate feelings of wanting to contact" will get fewer and more far between and you will be re-gaining your sense of self, for each day you go without contact, put five dollars in a jar, at the end of a month, or two, or three, take the money and go and buy yourself something great!!!

 

This time is for YOU, cry, grieve, be strong, do NOT contact him, think well of yourself, forgetting his hurtful words, ones that only HE has to really live with now, because YOU are choosing to NOT make any contact.

 

Be so very proud of yourself, ten days, wow, keep it going, one day at a time...That is the best thing for you, no contact is the key to your self empowerment.. keep it up...

 

there is no reason to call any man who is not making a clear intentional effort to respectfully be in your life... that is YOUR new standard, stick with it and many miracles will be yours... trust it.

[whatsagirltodo]

Thanks, I've been busy googling myself for awhile now (lol) and found a lot of things that I forgot about (old websites i had, message boards i posted on, etc.) so now it's almost 10:00 and too late to call him. Thank goodness. So it'll be 11 days NC tomorrow. I hope I can hold on. I told my boss today that it's been 10 days NC and she said "let's go for 10 more!!" haha. I just keep trying to remind myself that HE is the one that told me he hoped I'd fall off a building and die, said f*** you, and hung up the phone the last time we spoke to eachother ...10 nights ago.

[evening_light]

I'd listen to Blender and your boss, they have good advice here....no contact!!

[Northalius]

It's all about self-respect, my friend. Start telling yourself that YOU'RE a person, and need to be respected. If they're not going to do it, then YOU'VE got to do it yourself. If he treated you wrong, then think of him doing that to your sister, or mother, or anyone you care about; how would you feel? Would you say "Oh, but I'm sure my mother / sister / etc/ misses him!" ? I don't think so. You'd tell them to stand tall, and throw off the bag of bricks they're carrying around on their shoulders. He's not WORTH the time in their heads! Right? Well, you're no less of a person than your loved ones, so do the same!

 

I know, it's tough, but in the end, you'll see how much stronger you'll be because of this!