Help needed please!!!

[lilmissy05]

Hi

 

I am in a bit of a pickle and I may ramble so please bear with me!!

 

My Ex BF and I broke up in July and it was my choice due to him not being honest with me over a long period of time. We had been together for 3 years and we have a 18mth old daughter together.

 

Even though I broke it off with him, I have never stopped having strong feelings for him and I know he feels the same for me. Anyway, he asked me 3 weeks ago to try again and I agreed as I know he has changed over the past months we have split up. Everything has been fine but he has now said he doesn't want to continue because he is scared and I'm now the one who's head is in a mess! I am so confused!! I am totally baffled to be honest because his words to me today were "I love you, you are a fantastic mother, you are stunning, you are the nicest person I know" I replied that if I was that wonderful, what was the problem then???? I know he is scared because he has said that what if 6 months down the line, I just decide to dump him again to which I replied that all I want out of a relationship is honesty and fidelity and if promises me that, then everything will be fine and that people cant live by 'what if's' as nobody would take any chances in life!!

 

He is a wonderful Daddy to our daughter and has her overnight every week so it is not easy for me to forget about him because I see him all the time!!

 

I just don't really know what to do now. Do I just play it cool or do I try to prove to him about how much he means to me, although he does know that already? I don't know what I can do to show him he has no reason to be scared as long as he keeps to his promises. I did initially feel like he may have done this as 'payback' but he assures me that isn't the case at all. I just find it mind boggling how he can change his mind so quickly! I really wish now that he had left me alone because we were getting on fine before but now the floodgates have been opened and I basically can't stop thinking about him!! I have resisted sending him messages and ringing him but it is so difficult not to. I don't want to appear needy or clingy as I am not like that. I thought that maybe I should just be happy and fun loving as normal (and make sure I looked 'hot' everytime he came for our baby!!) but I'm concerned that I may come accross as not bothered when obviously I am.

 

HELP!!! I don't want to do anything rash!!!

[robowarrior]

Give him 'security'

 

Say to him, you can stay as long you don't betray me. You already took him back, so as long as you don't do that you don't have to worry 6 months down the line, because i love you and i want to be with you, as long as you stay faithfull to me, but even more to our child who needs you as a father to look up to. I don't want to give her the example of a dad who leaves and doesn't take responsibility. Although you shouldn't be too hard on him, such a message as above should be clear.

 

It might take a boy to make a girl pregnant, but it takes a man to raise a family.