I Feel Guilty

[kickedin]

about the email i sent her because it isnt like me to hurt someone......even though what i said was right on and not really harsh I felt she pushed me to the limit like a tiger in a cage getting poked.....although she texted me and apologized i never responded because the text didnt read that way its christmas eve i am missing her and in talking with her brother and the fact that for the oast seven years i always went to his familys house and the last two with her as a couple its just dredging up missing her

 

i feel so frustrated that she just walked out of my life....(see my other threads)

 

i miss her so much havent seen her since thanksgiving

 

what do i do i dont think i will get a contatct from her tonight or tomorrow and i wasnt planning on doing any myself since shes the one who hurt.......as of now i feel like doing something but i know that will backfire and i will be left hanging as i left her last sunday when she texted me....ididnt want to but i was hurt and if i contatc her now to say i am sorry or that yes my email was harsh and wriiten as a result of constant pain........

 

 

ok i am confused hurting and lonely

[Benson]

kickedin, friend.

 

try to calm down, i know its hard but you've got to do it... you are gonna make yourself sick, like i did... its not worth it.... take deep breaths, gather your thoughts, you dont know this yet but this could be good for you...

 

you never know..

 

you said she hurt you?? why are you letting her win? you gotta give her some space, start to heal yourself man.. its gonna kill you slowly...

 

if you have to, go to the doctors, get something to calm you down a bit..i've noticed by the number of threads you have your mind is probably racing like crazy, as mine was.

i feel so frustrated that she just walked out of my life....(see my other threads)

 

i miss her so much havent seen her since thanksgiving

 

ok i am confused hurting and lonely

 

yeah, that sums me up too. in a nutshell.. walked right off no reason, no contact nothing... but we HAVE to move on man...

 

She was the one that moved on, for whatever reasoning.. Thats her right, shes her own person, no matter how idiotic her reasoning is, or how bad it makes you feel... Its her right to say goodbye, as its yours to feel better.

[kickedin]

i realize that .......but heres the but

 

wehave been down this road we broke up in jan and came back in may....and things were great

 

we just didnt see eye to eye she came out of a divorce and went through it while being together so her mental state is up and down

 

it seems like if things arent 110% perfect she wasnt happy which is a typical trait of fresh divorcees

 

i just got the brunt of it twice

 

if i saw her i could work this out she knows i know ,would it last who knows

and that is why she runs all the time

[Benson]

yeah man. but she is running... hehe theres nothing you can do.. besides, why would you want to get over this with her, then down the road it happen again??

 

she obviously isnt ready for whatever reason, theres nothing you can do about it...

 

she broke it off with you right??

[Benson]

if you need to talk, pm me for my email and we can talk on msn

[kickedin]

if we could both work on this she is capable of being great more then i can imagine but her fears are ruining it all if she was 26 and never married it would be smooth sailing.....just seems like fear has won over love here

[BeStrongBeHappy]

lots of people go through bad marriages, and come out the other side to form happy relationships with other people.

 

but other people use the excuse of a bad previous marriage as an 'out' clause when they want to get out of another relationship they are not happy in. when people want to break up and leave, they don't always give you the real reasons becuase they don't want to hurt you, don't want the emotional backlash, etc. it's just easier to blame a prior experience than the current one, and use that excuse as an exit strategy.

 

all of us can find a million reasons why a relationship that keeps breaking up MIGHT be a good relationship IF x, y, or z happened. the real point is that those things you need to keep the relationship good and maintain it are NOT happening, and that is the reality.

 

so she might be fearful about commitment, but just as likely, this is just an excuse to use in order to break up with you, when she doesn't really want a relationship with you right now. that is hard to recognize and accept, but that may be the way it is.

 

if you want her back, then tell her CLEARLY that is what you want, and is she willing to work on it? any answer other than an enthusiastic YES to both questions, and follow through with getting back together and working on it probably means it's time for you to heal yourself so you can move into a better relationship with someone else.