attempted rebound fling gone wrong...

[silky88]

so my relationship ended two and a half weeks ago, after going thru some tough times for a few weeks and not really having sex. i've been doing limited contact for about a week now (we work together) but last night he was sort of flirting with me at work. my heart is still completely broken and i cannot stop thinking about the man who broke it. i've been in a state where all other men disgust me and i want nothing to do with them.

 

however, last night i went out to a bar with my girl friend as we had planned the night before, trying to avoid my ex and keep the LC, and there he was. again. of all the bars in town, we almost always and up at the same places. it's like karmic torture, that we think so much alike. he was there with his good platonic friend who was in from out of town, who i really always hit it off with, so i thought it would be rude to not say hi to her, and then half-jokingly to him i was like "do you know how hard i'm trying to not hang out with you?" and he was like, "sorry but i had this planned ahead." and i was like "so did i."

 

well, anyway, we parted to opposite sides of the bar, and i was just hanging with my friend, and i saw a boy who i thought was cute. for the first time since i met the man who broke my heart, i actually thought someone was cute! i took this as a good sign, but wasn't going to do anything about it, because he looked like he was there with another girl. turns out it was just a friend, since he came up and started talking to me and my girl. he goes to my university.

 

to make a long story short, i decided that maybe a rebound fling was in order, since i hadn't had any sex for over a month. we all went back to my house after last call and the boy was STILL cute, but he was so immature. like a 15-y.o-boy trapped in a hot 23-y.o.'s body. i thought he would be a good candidate for no-strings-attached sex, but after we made out for a few hours, it turns out he's religious and he didn't want to "do it."

 

we kept fooling around (only manual) for a while, fell asleep, woke up, fooled around for a bit more and he got off but i didn't (i can't really that way). so i'm still sexually frustrated, but now i feel guilty, too.

 

because he's a sweet boy, funny, honest, COMPLETELY innocent, but it was like being with a little kid -- a far cry from the mature men i've dated in the past. he's only two years younger, but the gap feels like ten. i feel like i was totally corrupting him. for all i know, he's a virgin? and he seemed to really like me, staying all morning and giving me a sweet kiss goodbye and all, saying that he's really picky about who he dates and that he's had a crush on me just from seeing me around town. i really don't want to call him again because he's only hot when he is not speaking. the things he talks about are so high-school.

 

so i didn't get laid. i don't feel any better about myself -- i feel worse, because this boy seems hopeful and i feel bitter. and i feel like i cheated even though my relationship is over. and i don't the man i love to find out, but this is a gossip-ridden town, so he will.

 

argh.

[bella321]

Hi Silky,

 

Sounds like it's a little too soon for trying to bed other men. Please take some time for yourself (hang with friends, family, better yourself) and give your heart a rest for now. I know that two weeks after my break up, I couldn't handle the psychological weight of trying to figure out a new guy. I can barely do it now and it's been 3 months! And working with your ex is THE WORST. I work with my ex and it makes no contact impossible. Good luck and stay strong. Don't worry about this prude. He clearly has nothing that you're looking for .

[Starrjenna]

I just did the whole rebound fling thing. You know what it doesn't feel as good as you think it will.I was thinking of my real love the whole time! It made it so much worse. I think if my ex found out he would question if I really love him at all. Plus now the new guy wants a relationship !!!! Just keep doing LC.You will feel better if you just focus on yourself and not look to another man to fill that void! I wish I had taken my own advice! good luck!!!

[Benson]

hehe yeah, lucky for me i feel the same way... rebounds (unless you're totally over the ex) can be sticky... you could end up hurting the other person, or even worse, hurting youself even more, bringing up thoughts of your ex.. which is exactly what I would do.