mixed signals from a guy - please decipher!

[Altruist]

Well then what remans is a choice between forgetting about the guy completely or exposing her vulnerability by pouring out her feelings. The questions is, which option are you willing to take, Camilla?

[LittleLion24]

Camilla--what makes you think this guy is nursing a heartache? I agree with ICEMAN26 when he says that a guy at his age should not be text messaging and IMing. He should be mature enough to call you at the very least. I think you need to be upfront with him and let this guy know that text messaging and IMing is not an acceptable form of communication. Trust me girl, if you allow him to only communicate in those forms then that is how he will break things off too, and nobody deserves a break up through texting or IMing. Like ICEMAN26 said it's something a 15yr old would do not a thirty-something male. You should expect more because you're an adult and not a teenager. I can relate to your current situation because I'm having the same issue with a guy.

[camilla67]

i just get the sense that he's nursing a heartache through little signs here and there...he seems to have a bit of baggage about the female gender that comes out in our conversations here and there...

 

and i am not going to pour my heart out to him. #1 - I'm interested in getting to know him better. There's isn't anything that's so overwhelming that needs to be poured out to him. #2 - everyone's right about IM/Texting not being an appropriate form of communication. at his age, he should know how to ask a girl out properly..he did it when we first met, he can follow up on that. #3 - like i've said, since my last breakup, i've been vulnerable and after a couple mishaps, i'm realizing that dating in your late 20s is so different from college, when things were simple. Back then, two people liked each other and you were bf/gf. Now there's so much baggage to deal with...and people are jaded and become callous with other people's emotions...so i have to learn to protect myself and not be so vulnerable and trusting so easily...

 

*sigh* Too bad i'm still an idealist and hopeless romantic...

[LittleLion24]

Good for you. Just be careful. Any guy that blows you off for awhile and then comes back around probably has commitment issues too. Has this guy ever been married?

 

If you want to get to know him also be careful. If he doesn't appear to be interested in getting to know you too, then don't waste anymore of your time. Don't be like me and give him time and his space only to find out that he's got commitment issues and isn't willing to work on them. If a guy wants to get to know you, he'll make the time. Otherwise he'll just string you along if you let him. Let him chase you not the other way around.