The Usual "I think my guy friend likes me".

[EmptySoul]

A lot of people don't agree with it, but as I wrote in one of my other posts, me and a couple of friends take xanax to get high.

 

The other day my friend was really high, he'd taken 5 xanax. We hug normally and I've held his hand before to keep him from falling over when he was high. But that day it kept seeming like he was trying to hold my hand, and he put his arm around my shoulders. He kept hugging me way more than usual and then when school was over, his hug seemed a bit too long and when he let go he kind of rubbed my hip. Then he told me he loved me. (I didn't say it back, of course, I just said bye and left.)

 

I just assumed it all was because he was high. The next day I just asked him if he remembered the day before at all and he said no. But, completely sober, he still seemed more touchy-feely than normal, and he put his arm around my shoulders again. These guys kept saying that me and him have sex, and it just made everything worse. I was telling them no, our friendship isn't like that, and I couldn't read his face, I really couldn't tell what he was thinking...He hasn't actually said anything, his actions are just...

 

We've been friends for a few years, just finally getting closer this school year. He's never hit on me and now...I don't know if that fact that he's starting doing drugs is bringing everything out. I'm upset about all of this, I'll have to end this friendship if things don't go back to normal...Normally this is how friendships go, and I end it immediately, but I really get along well with this guy and want to try to save this if I can.

 

If I just ignore the things he's doing, will it go away? I feel like if I straight out tell him, "I don't like you in a romantic or sexual way." it will ruin everything, because I will either embarrass him, or, if I'm wrong about this, myself.

 

Help.

 

-E.

[laboheme]

I'd say give it a little while...see what he does, but do not under any circumstances encourage his behavior. If anything, create some physical distance between the two of you. Walk just a little farther away, don't initiate hugs...Maybe he'll get the clue.

 

If his actions continue, or if he starts talking about things, that dreadful conversation may be inevitable -- especially if he starts doing things that make you uncomfortable. Yes, you do run the risk of ruining the relationship, but in time he'll get over it and find a new romantic interest -- and maybe your friendship will get back on track. I've been in a similar situation, where a guy friend was interested in me, but I didn't reciprocate his feelings...yes, things were awkward for a little while, but since then both of us have been in relationships, and can hang out normally like we used to. Basically, if your friendship is strong enough, it will come back in time. And if it doesn't, well, it wasn't strong enough to begin with. Good luck!

 

PS. You've probably heard this before, but the whole Xanax thing is not a good idea...